I have been thinking about the things we don’t share.
We all know what we share.
We share about good things, happy things, pondering things, challenging things…but what don’t we share?
It’s always interesting to look at what we don’t share. To look more closely and determine why we’re not sharing. Do we think it’s no one’s business? Do we want to keep certain parts of our life private? Are we ashamed? Guilty? Protective of boundaries? Wise? Astute?
I haven’t been perfectly honest with all of you blog readers this month.
Time for confession.
I shall tell a secret. A secret that I really haven’t shared with too many folks this month.
I really haven’t felt well this month. Not well at all. You know how so many people recover from laparoscopic gall bladder surgery without any challenges? You know how they’re up and healthy and smiling after two weeks without any major discomfort or repercussions? You know how they’re tooting that this surgery is “nothing”–everybody should do it!
Well, dear reader, that was not my experience.
I did recover from the knife within two weeks. But then…the discomfort started, and elevated, and refused to disappear. It was not pleasant. It felt like someone placed a belt around this waist and pulled tight…no, tighter….no, tighter! The discomfort was worse than before surgery.
Who knew what this was? The surgeon made it perfectly clear that he would not see anyone until one to two months after surgery. So you had to…lie on the couch. Maintain a stiff upper lip. Learn to live with pain. Learn to live with something that felt like a constant irritating tooth-ache.
Remember when I came back early from my blogging sabbatical? It was because the discomfort was so challenging that I finally decided, “Heck, I need to have some fun!” I need to start blogging again just to distract from this relentless discomfort…
Remember the “Gratitude Challenge?” It was because my gall bladder-less discomfort was so challenging that perhaps gratitude was the only antidote to ease the challenge of the days! (And do you want to know something miraculous, dear reader? The day I started the Gratitude Challenge, the pain finally, blessedly, stopped for a full twenty-four hours.)
The reason I am finally sharing this with you is that–finally, blessedly, the pain has ceased. Not 100%. But at least 90%. For five days now.
Who knows what it was? It might have been gallstones trapped in the liver duct with nowhere to go. Those stones have been known to dissolve after surgery. Sometimes the surgeon needs to go in with a scope and physically remove leftover gallstones. Sometimes infection sets in. It could have been the after-effects of surgery. Who knows?
I have just been contemplating why we reveal certain things–and keep certain secrets to ourselves. I kept this secret in an effort to keep the pain inward, trying to send energy for its healing. It felt necessary.
I want to express gratitude today for healing. For the easing of discomfort. For energy returning. Thank you, dear God, dear Sacred Universe! It’s good to feel good again. And not keep this a secret.