Will you always bring me flowers?
Will you always bring me flowers in the snow?
When I'm gone, will you forget me?
Forget me
Or will you bring me flowers?
A single plastic flower
Bouquet of yellow flowers
In the light December snow
Will you always bring me flowers?
Always?
Lake Superior Spirit 
Do the dead need flowers, or the living? I always thought that everything that happens around death like funerals and such were for the living… what do you think?
Oh you are asking what I–as in Kathy–thinks? Kathy was just channeling some of the spirits in the cemetery, I am sure. I definitely think that flowers are for the living. (I’m not even sure my logical mind approves of flowers on graves, as the spirits are obviously gone and why do they need them?) However, sometimes, when I listen with my heart, there is a soft feeling of nostalgia and sadness in cemeteries… So I’m leaving it open to possibility and what you think.
That’s what I thought, Kathy! Thanks…
Gone, but not forgotten.
Did you know that the graves in Germany are like tiny little gardens where real flowers are planted? I like that much better than just the headsones with the (often) fake flowers.
Oh how sweet! These flowers are, of course, fake, because they would be dead by now in the snow. I was looking for color in the snow yesterday. Odd to find the only color in an old cemetery…
I think that funerals and flowers are for the people remaining, yes…but is that so wrong? I have a friend whose Mom became ill and knew that she would not recover. During that time she planned every detail of her funeral so that her children (who were grown with children of their own) would not be troubled with the arrangements. There was only one request for herself….flowers. Lots of flowers…every color…every type…covering her grave like a blanket. She asked for flowers because she had received flowers from her husband for every birthday, every anniversary, every holiday and in between “just because”. And it never ceased to make her happy. She said that when she was gone, her children could look at the flowers and think of her, and every time they would see flowers anywhere, they would smile in her memory. And my friend….she has told me that is exactly the case. ♥
and Kathy…I love your pictures…of the flowers in the snow…faded but not gone…perhaps like memories.
You’ve taught me something, Brenda. That is a good viewpoint to remember. (You’ll understand this more after you’ve read tomorrow’s blog.) I do think what is important is that we remember those who have passed on…and we all do this in different ways. Some people remember with their heart. Others remember with physical flowers. I am glad you loved the pictures. I loved them, too!
You’re right Kathy…every has a special way to remember their loved ones and each of those ways is perfect. I might relate one way but it doesn’t mean it’s the only acceptable way. Heavens no. Thank you for your comment…and for the blog you wrote today. For every blog–because you have a gift with words and I love reading them. Your stories are entertaining, thought provoking, heartwarming and inspirational! Thank you Kathy! ♥ ps..your Christmas card is ready for mailing 🙂
Ok, most days you leave me feeling warm and fuzzy, but today YOU RIPPED MY HEART OUT! Go ahead; just throw it on the ground for some coyotes to just drag away. My tears are freezing to my cheeks. I feel beaten before the day even starts. OMG Kathy how could you do that!
(Changing the subject (PLEASE) how is Barry’s knee?)
John, I am quoting you in tomorrow’s blog. I am sorry to have ripped out your heart, but it really wasn’t me. Honest. It was not Kathy who wrote this blog.
As for Barry’s knees–both of them–they are not doing good. He’s a candidate for two artificial knees; it just depends when. Now he’s getting lubricating shots in the right knee (a series of three shots for three weeks.) Sigh. It’s been tough.
Thank you for asking.
Touching pictures Kathy! Don’t we all want to be remembered? And hasn’t seeing these pictures drawn our attention to the departed loved ones lain beneath those stones? I loved Brenda’s story of her mother’s wishes. Thank you for the reminder to take time in memory of my loved ones now gone!
Brenda’s story was lovely, wasn’t it, Susan? I was touched, too. You will see why on tomorrow’s blog. It was a very strange blog that was written today, let me tell you. Glad this reminded you of your departed loved ones…
my flowers are stored tightly in my heart… interesting post… thanks for weathering the cold for these lovely pics
I think that is one of the better places to store flowers, wolfsrosebud. Your loved ones will feel and smell them there… I am glad you liked this post.
Interesting that you found color in the cemetary of all places. This gave me a sudden pang of guilt that I haven’t visited my mom’s grave in over 20 years. I just don’t think of her as being “there”.
She is in my heart.
Hugs,
Suzen
SuZen, I am smiling, because I wouldn’t think of a loved one as being in a cemetery, either. I would think they would be parked very softly in a heart, showered by the flowers of memory and love. (If you read tomorrow’s blog, you will see that I agree with you. It wasn’t me that wrote this blog…)
emotional post
Dawn, I can almost see the spirit who dictated this post, Dawn… Please read tomorrow about the effects of this blog on my day.
My baby brings me enough flowers now that I’m not concerned about later–and not the plastic kind. Sweet, isn’t she?
Have a great day, Kathy!
Kathy
Oh how lucky you are, Kathy! The moment is all we have, and if we have flowers now, we are very lucky indeed. Hope your day is splendiferous, as well!
The first flowers I ever got were from my stepmom. Flowers on graves are for everyone to enjoy; it’s like finding a love letter in a library book – a glimpse of unexpected joy.
What a wonderful gift from your stepmom, Gigi. I never thought about graveside flowers as giving a gift of unexpected joy. Will remember this from now on… Thank you.
I often wonder wonder about the public memorials that spontaneously arise at the site where someone died. Tokens left range from flowers to candles to notes to stuffed animals. The tokens are saying “I remember” .. But to whom are we saying this ?
Our family isn’t big on funerals and the costs of same. Me? I’d love a “Natural Burial”.
Then I won’t have to worry about someone bringing me flowers…
http://www.naturalburialassoc.ca/
Hi Sybil, a “natural” burial sounds lovely. I think it’s wonderful that we have a choice–we can choose to head out of this world in any way we want. People will have to remember you in their deepest heart. 🙂
Love the flowers in the snow…it doesn’t matter whether they are real or not, the love behind them is boundless, timeless, infinite.
Loving the love behind them, Dawn. You are so right!
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Beautiful, Kathy!!
I love your photographs – with flowers or without …
Jan, oh it’s good to “see” you again! I am glad you liked these photos. Even without the flowers! You are the kindest of fellows. 🙂
Thank you for this post, Kathy, as the second photo down has clarified something for me. I don’t like cemetaries, don’t like gravestones and have never quite known why and now I do: mostly they are regimented. People live their lives ‘free-range’ and then when they die they are put into someone else’s idea of order. But that second picture down is a ‘free-range’ remembrance and seems more fitting to the life that the person would have led. Beautiful. 🙂
I have never thought of this before, Val! That is so interesting…that we would be regimented in death. Glad that one of these photos prompted “free-range” feelings for you. I am still deciding what to do after death. Barry wants to be cremated by I have never been sure. Maybe I should leave it up to him…or make a decision one way or another. Scattering ashes would be very free range.
Great photos, Kathy.
I’m not a cut flowers kinda gal (a living plant/flowers, yes), and I’m going to be cremated, not buried…so while I certainly respect the heart-based tradition of leaving flowers on loved one’s grave sites, it’s not my cuppa tea 🙂
You said this all so very kindly, Laurie. I can’t believe how I fell in love with plastic flowers on Sunday! It blind-sided me. How can you spend your life hating plastic flowers and then suddenly be awed to your knees by their beauty? Life is so strange…
Oh Kathy, your ghost friend wrote something beautiful here today. A plea to be remembered. I think it begs the reply “Of course I will”.
And, by the way, I think it’s less about the flowers, and more about remembering. 🙂
Hi Joanne. My ghost friend actually wrote a comment in yesterday’s blog. You know, the blog where I tell that a ghost wrote the blog. If you scroll to the end of comments, you’ll see what she said. I think she wrote something beautiful, too. I love what she said. I was simply unprepared to present it as “mine”. But, yes, with you 100%. It’s more about the remembering than anything else.
Kathy, appreciating what you said to Sybil, that people will have to remember you in their deepest heart…….
Colleen, I think our deepest heart is the most important thing. And for different people, that deepest heart expresses itself in different ways, don’t you think?
I really like wondering around graveyards, at least the ones in the Netherlands where very often they are beautiful quiet places with lots of old trees and mostly real flowery plants around the graves. It’s very meditative. To me flowers are not just about the living, I think life and death are not opposite but different sides of something I’d call Life with a capital L.
So flowers, poems, personal things around graves to me are like a vibrational intention, the body turns to dust while the spirit flies on.
Around my parents grave we plant bulbs and other plants so that in every season something comes to bloom.
Thats what I like best, the natural ones. I dont care for the graves that are covered with big marble stones or surrounded by marble statutes or minitemples like one sees in Italy. There’s a great variety in styles of graveyards when one travels trhough Europe. in Greece they have little ‘cupboards’ where they put silverware for the deceased. In France you see a lot of stone wreaths on the graves which are often covered with stone.
Like I said I like the more natural burying places, there’s a peace where time seems to cease and life and death can be sensed as something eternal.
Lucienne, thank you so much for sharing about the differences in cemeteries in Europe. The Greek “cupboards” sound so much like the Native American wooden “houses” over the graves in the Ojibway cemeteries. They place tobacco and other sacred items to assist the dead in their journey to the “other side”. I love it when death is sensed as something eternal. Thank you, dear friend!
Beautiful pictures, Kathy – you know I love cemeteries. I agree with Sybil, a natural burial would be ideal, avoiding all those polluting embalming fluids… After my mom died she was cremated but Dad had her ashes buried in the cemetery of her ancestors on Cape Cod. I used to drive him up there once a month to visit her grave. Even though he is an atheist he found comfort there. I’m the one who felt compelled to leave her flowers, even though I knew her spirit was not confined there. It’s fascinating seeing the different reactions your readers had to this post.
Hasn’t it been fascinating to see the different reactions, Barbara? I have written many cemetery blogs before without feeling the crackling energy of responses to this one. (Of course that may be partly because I later had a response to this myself.) That is so interesting that your dad found comfort in the cemetery…and that you were the one compelled to leave flowers. I think I would like to leave forget-me-nots. Except that they would wilt so quickly…
I suppose you could make do with plastic forget-me-nots… 🙂
Cemeteries look particularly colourful under the snow. Your lovely pictures show this so well. The little flame of a candle, a heart-shaped pine crown decoration or anything that would suggest Christmas tell us that people, our loved ones who left are not forgotten. There are many ways of remembering them, every day of the year. Yesterday would have been my sweet mother’s birthday, I wrote a page to her in my diary and wore one of her favourite necklaces. I also cut a few pieces of fabrics belonging to her for a bigger project. My mother left at Christmas, she is more present than ever. Thank you Kathy, I love the way you write “real”.
Dear Isa, how sweet that you wore one of your mother’s favorite necklaces and wrote about her in your diary. I can’t imagine what it is like to lose a precious sweet mother. It heartens me to hear that she is more present than ever in your life. P.S. you write “real” too.
There’s something very poignant in a blog post written as captions to photos. Simple yet effective! Cemeteries make me hopelessly sad, and flowers on graves make me sadder still. I guess they show how much a loved one is missed by those who are still living.
Beautiful, sad post, whoever wrote it 🙂
Who wrote this blog anyway, Munira? **smile** I am hopelessly sad in this moment, having just received a phone call from a long-ago older friend who is dying of lung and colon cancer. Do you ever wonder how life can be so simultaneously beautiful and painfully sad? In this moment, both emotions are joined together, along with appreciation for your presence here.
I’m so sorry about your friend Kathy…
Kathy (or Ghost),
I’m not sure if flowers are for the living or the dead…not being dead myself I have no way of knowing if they appreciate the gesture or not. Regardless, honoring those who have passed, and remembering what they have taught us, is very important.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Kathy.
Thank you, Munira and Sean. Remembering today those who are not with us during the holiday merry making.