Saturday, unexpectedly, the typing fingers did something truly amazing.
They reactivated my Facebook account after a six-month deactivation.
I am still attempting to reconcile with the errant digits.
As some of you might remember, this blogger has been sometimes Facebook-challenged. Yes. She’s never quite been able to figure out the FB hoopla. (Maybe there is no hoopla. Maybe it’s other people that Kathy can’t figure out. Maybe it’s herself. You know what the wise ones say? Everything is a reflection of ourselves…)
Back to this Facebook quandary. After a couple of years of playing/experimenting/loving/hating Facebook, I finally deactivated last November. Ahhh…delightful peace. It was fun to focus solely on this blog. To focus solely on reading your blogs. It was a joy not to be scattered in the virtual winds, scurrying hither and yon, visiting a thousand blips of communication daily.
After about three months a certain sweet someone (no names mentioned, you understand) passed along his/her FB account to yours truly and I became a Silent Stalker about once a week. Stalked the nieces, nephews, brother, mostly family members to whom aforementioned lovee had “friended”. (I used to totally disapprove of stalkers, by the way. Shameful peekers who peer into profiles but shared nothing of themselves. Ha! Isn’t it funny to then become a silent stalker yourself?)
Even silently stalked a few friends whose settings allowed “friends of friends” or “public” to view their posts.
Last week, visiting FB as an alleged stalker, I suddenly thought, “What the heck? If I’m still visiting Ms. FB, it’s time to reactivate.”
(For any of you considering deactivation, it’s a breeze. You decisively, angrily or delightedly press a deactivation button on your profile. Facebook deactivates you, but saves your profile. When and if you change your mind–wa la!–you sign back into your account–if you remember your password–and there you are in Facebook Land once again, as if you never departed.)
Why am I reactivating Ms. FB now, besides the errant typing fingers who will do the craziest things?
One small change arose in the ensuing months.
Mainly my attitude. Mainly my expectations.
No longer am I expecting Facebook to be something other than what it is. No longer expecting people to be different from who they are on FB. They can say hello or they can file their fingernails while stalking. They can be who they are. Facebook can be who she is.
Already I am grinning at the folks who said hello this weekend, lovingly, mind you–without even a huff that I so unpredictably left them for six months, disappearing into the ethers with barely a breeezy goodbye. (And I am not minding folks who aren’t saying howdy, aren’t reaching out in Cyberland with a friendly virtual hug, with a “HOW’S IT BEEN GOING, WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, WHERE WERE YOU?)
It doesn’t matter.
Somewhere in the last six months something has shifted to let people be who they are much more. What relief! People and Facebook and bloggers and readers and commenters and friends and family can be who they are, exactly who they are, without me wanting them to be different.
Tomorrow I may be wanting so-and-so to act differently.
Next month it may be: Off with Facebook’s head!
But today this feels right, this new allowing which has activated.
Why do I want to reactivate, besides the expectation shift?
Because now I know that Martha, a blogging friend, recently remarried. Because my niece, Tianna, and I giggled about do-da do-da (see the post about my dad’s recent birthday party if you’re clueless) and because Janet and I compared stories about snakes. Because sometimes it’s fun to check in on your mother’s cousin from Colorado. Because. Just because.
When is the last time you did something unpredictable?
P.S. One of my Facebook buddies just wrote: Welcome back. Won’t you stay for a spell?
I replied: Ha ha, I have no idea if I’ll stay for a day or a lifetime! But it’s wonderful to be here NOW. 🙂