Dear bloggers, has this happened to you?
You love your readers, every one.
You adore the give-and-take of commenters.
You think they are cooler than the moon.
They are awesome!
And then, one fine blogging day, one or seventeen commenters disappear into the ethers and never return.
You silently sob into your keyboard.
What have I done wrong? you whimper.
1) wrote too many words
2) posted too few pictures
3) posted too many photos or
4) too few words
5) said something offensive
6) not intellectual enough
7) too much humor
8) not enough laughs
9) not enough local posts
10) and your mind wails on and on searching for possible causes!
Ladies and gentlefolk…in four years of blogging I’ve learned…readers come and readers go.
It’s not your fault.
It’s not their fault.
Life calls them elsewhere.
It is OK.
Let them follow their muse.
Do not despair.
You continue to follow your blogging heart.
New readers shall replace the old. We learn to let go more gracefully. We cease to search for explanations.
Has your heart been hurt by blogging abandonment? Were you able to release easily or with difficulty?
Aw, dear Kathy, do not weep. Do not feel bad. You are correct – you did not do anything wrong, life simply called them in another direction. I have experienced that too, and wondered – why? Why??!!
I don’t wonder about that anymore; I confess that I too have unsubscribed from blogs, not because I did not love reading them, but because, well, life can get pretty darn hectic, and time is short, and there are soo many other good things to do… But there are some bloggers whom I do not wish to forsake. 😀
I just don’t think like that. If someone doesn’t show up, at most I’d wish them well for having something otherwise amazing to do. I might contact them personally to inquire about them, assumptions you know? Maybe that is part of walking alongside…
I am trying very hard to not let the actions of others become about me. I do it too often, wondering what I did wrong to make someone else not like me, or stop reading me. I compare myself with others too often, and find myself lacking. I know that I don’t have time to read every one of the bloggers I follow, so why should I expect anyone else to follow every word I write?
I think now I write for a different audience, a future one. I write so that someday my daughter might look at my words and understand me as a person. But I also write to understand myself.
If nobody else reads, I understand that too.
I agree with Lisa.
How interesting! I also wrote a post similar to this today. It’s all about external validation vs. internal validation. The questions I pose can certainly be applied to blogging too.
To provide a little external validation for you I can say I’ll be reading your blog for a while yet. It’s funny and real. You have glorious pictures. Your blog is just the kind of thing I like to read when I need a moment away from my own life. Keep up the good work!
In my 4th year of blogging, this just happens – people come and people go. I don’t follow the same blogs I did back when I started. Actually few of the bloggers are even blogging anymore! It’s rarely ever a personal thing – and if it is, I don’t know about it. I’ve had blogs with 50 comments, I’ve had blogs with none. I keep on keeping on. If nothing else, my weekly blog has always been consistent.
Well, that’s not true either. I started with a “whatever” content – now I’m mostly health and wellness related. When I made the switch two years ago, I lost a lot of people who just frankly could care less about health topics. Oh wellllllllllllllll it is what it is.
I’m like a bad cold that never seems to go away 😉
Our blogs are somewhat like revolving doors in that a myriad of people pass through:
Some enjoy the loop several times until they get dizzy; step out for a bit to regain their equilibrium, then step back in to give it another go.
Others take the loop, experience vertigo and decide to take a different route next time.
Kathy, I have the opposite problem. I wonder when will I get blogging followers but you just have to go on. Keep writing and if you write they will come eventually. I love your blogs in fact I look forward to them. I guest sometimes we forget that we may have given those who have left what they needed and now they have left the nest as children do and sometimes they return. Blessings!
It’s like Twitter. Readers come, stay for a little while or a long while, then move on. Like you said, life calls them in other directions.
The same goes with coffee shop customers. Lol
Kathy, just checking in to say good morning and to admire your bougainvilleas and to bask in the glow of your beautiful blogging heart 🙂
I’m still here! I just don’t keep up my own blog anymore, but I still love yours!
Just like people come and people go in our life too. Perhaps, its just that their part in our life is over. New episodes begin. Every one moves on. But in our memories, we always have them for they touched our lives. Is’nt it? Well, I doubt I can leave hopping to your blog every now & then 🙂
Good post. I try not to obsess over stats, but it does make me feel a twinge when my page views go down. Since I’ve systematically reduced the frequency of my posts, a reduction in my stats has been occurring.
Commenters do come and go. I’m not sure how to think about “blogging friends.” You put it in perspective.
One word to all who are sad or worried or disappointed by dropping readership: SUMMER!!!
Yes, summer – the garden beckons, the visitors come and go…
loved the first pic…good puppy
In addition to the truism that people will do what people will do, and that it isn’t really about you (nice rhyme, eh?), I think P.j. has nailed it – summer! I know my schedule means that I check all my blogs still, but it might be a week late, leaving comments on multiple blogs all at once. Or even just hitting the “like” button so the blogger knows that I *did* manage to drop it. I figure I’m still having fun just blogging, sharing my stories and pictures, and that’s enough – even if the readership swells and shrinks according to unknown whims.
Such a great issue to raise, Kathy. I’ve had this happen a number of times. Kind of weird, isn’t it? And, I LOVE your list of potential “offences.” Actually, this post is priceless. I’ve dealt. I deal. Blog on, my friend. Blog on!
Kathy, I have yet to understand how the blogging world ebbs and flows. I do not have nearly the number of commenters as you usually do. I love looking at the little map on the “stats” though. Some days the readers are all from the U.S.A and then suddenly late one night there are 9 New Zealanders! I sit and wonder, “Did one find the blog and then pass it on to eight friends? Cool!” But alas, mostly they are silent visitors. I’m not only commenting here, but I have carved out tomorrow morning to write a letter to my new pen pal!
I have had a bit of ebb and flow, although I’ve only been doing this since January. It is summertime when people go on vacation. I was so busy last week, I couldn’t keep up with all the great blogs I follow and I’m still trying to catch up. I still have 57 emails in my inbox, mostly blog posts. Life happens and if people miss you, I’m sure they will return. 🙂
yes Kathy, I have felt the blogging abandonment and pouted and fretted as well. I know that it’s not personal. I’ve even had friends tell me they just missed seeing the posting. (because keeping track of once a week isn’t in their daily routine?) I get sad and a little crazy sometimes, but other times I shrug my shoulders and let it go. I guess when it comes to the guilt it’s more about me than them isn’t it. 🙂
You’ll never lose me. Not even if you take out a restraining order … 😉
Thanks for your perspective on this – I will try not to lose sleep over losing commentors – but I am sticking with you to the end (which will hopefully not be soon)
I would only be disappointed if you failed to visit once and awhile, Kathy. Other than that, I’m at peace. Glad you had a good visit with your company.
Blogg for you Kathy, That’s the cake… readers are the icing on the cake.Summer, busy lives, kids, work, families, stresses obligations and chores we have them all to various degrees.
I’m here but mostly silent… not enough hours in the day 🙂
I’m still here. Hugs.
Like anything else, blogging is impossible to figure out! Some days they come in droves and others you feel like the only person online. That’s why I gave up stats earlier this month. Without “the number” hovering over my head, blogging becomes even more fun than it already was. 🙂
Kathy, I gave blogging a rest 10 mo. ago, mostly because life became too busy and I did not have the time or creative urge to keep it up. That dominoed into guilt and not reading the blogs I followed. Hence: If I couldn’t find the time to write my own, I could not find the time to read other blogs. It may not make sense, but that is my own take on it. Plus, you find time to almost daily write, I wish I could. Jealousy! I have much more to say in my blogging efforts, I write titles to remember them, but don’t take the time to actually put the words on line. I think in time, I will return, it is called balancing life.
Heh. My issue, for the first year and a half of blogging, was attracting readers at all. Gotta get ’em before you can lose ’em. I lost a reader/friend once and took it hard, but knew why the person left. Moved on!
I’m still here, just seldom comment…Keep on blogging girlfriend…
I’m going to do more reading, writing and responding when my grandchildren go home…for now I’m enjoying having one daughter plus a 9-year-old grandson, a 10-year-old grandson and a 12-year-old granddaughter here, while I adjust to six new jobs. I haven’t forgotten anyone! Great post, Kathy, thanks!
Summertime slump? I will take the time to read more blogs this summer!
I thought it was because I was boaring, haha
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I have learned the same lesson over the years. Readers (and blogmates) do come and go. Some say goodbye. Some just up and disappear. I often wonder what happened to those who disappeared, especially those who left during a sad or difficult time in life. I wish them well, wherever they are. 🙂
I’m with Sybil. I check stats, and always smile when I see 1 page view from Russia.
Keep blogging ’cause you’re my hero.
Hi Kathy, My interests seem to go in spurts. That’s why I don’t write a blog.I’m lucky.I remember to read a blog. Yours is like a rest.spot on a long walk. Great scenary, cool with a cold drink. Unless I go cuckoo for another great idea, I’ll be here.
I just can’t keep up with all the reading ‘n writing expected of a blogger. Perhaps because I work full time and don’t have access to a computer at all during the day. But I do come over as often as I can.
Didn’t I read that you were only going to post once a week??
psst. that was over on june 21(ish), i might be mistaken as to the exact date. Now, it’s write under 200 words, use pictures and not commenting on our comments. That is how I was understanding things anyway…
It’s funny, Kathy– in most areas of life, I tend to take it very personally when friends and acquaintances move on, but when it comes to blogging, it doesn’t faze me at all. Perhaps I am full of empathy for blog readers, knowing just how many wonderful blogs are out there and knowing just how few hours there are in every day. If only we could absorb everything via osmosis or something– then we could have the best of both worlds (sharing in words + free time for otherwise living life!)
You get lots of comments. I like comments. I don’t get that many. People just click the like button. It lets you know they were there. Sometimes I read the blogs where there are more than one post. Time just goes buy so fast in the summer.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…my readers seem to just go…
I get behind on reading and commenting sometimes Kathy, but I’m still here. “Real” life just gets in the way at times, for me anyway, and I think the same happens to a lot of people. It’s nothing personal….
Face it Kathy, you’re just so darn nice, how could anyone take offense to anything you said?!! 😀
It’s the ones I know in person who leave that are the greatest mystery…
I’m still here and reading every word… Unfortunately my work and home life has turned into a poofadillo of insanity and I’ve not had time to comment.
I don’t think anyone reads my blog, so I haven’t had my feelings hurt yet. 🙂 But I enjoy your blog and enjoy visiting your part of the world, even when I don’t comment. ❤
LOL Excellent Kathy! I have only been blogging in this way for about 3 months, however have been very active in forums and the like for years. Now I know from an old time blogger not to fret. Much love, Sindy
Yes non attachment, letting go, a revelant message today. Let go, release be unattached. 🙂