How vulnerable dare we bloggers be?

Vulnerable

Let’s face it, kids.

We can be such complicated human beings.

There are many sides to us.

And we’re not always comfortable with all our sides.

How vulnerable do we want to be?

Specifically, how vulnerable do we bloggers want to be?

Open

Sure, there are some things we’ll share in private with our closest non-judgmental friends. We know they’ll support us; they won’t turn away.  They’ll remain steadfast as we admit our deepest pains, our concerns, our sadness, our vulnerabilities, our confusing thoughts and feelings.

But how vulnerable do we want to be in our blogs?

How much of our insecurity, our not-knowing, our woundedness do we want to reveal?

I have found one of the biggest gifts of blogging–and the most challenging–is the sharing of vulnerability.  The gifts reveal themselves as we gain confidence to type scary sentences. When we’re finally ready to tell our secrets, we’re often surprised to discover a huge support network ready to hug, to empathize, to embrace.  This can feel so freeing–realizing that we’re not alone, that we’re among a sea of others who know the edges of what we’ve felt–and we can begin integrating shameful, painful or vulnerable parts of self.

Half buried

The problem with revealing oneself on-line and off-line, to strangers and friends, is that the world likes to label.  It’s not our imagination–people do tend to judge, discern, cement in categories.  It is hard for us humans to live in not-knowing open spaces where we discern the multiplicity of others.  So we put ourselves and others in categories, under solid labels.

And those categories and labels can hurt even more than the original pain–because we feel judged.

How vulnerable dare we bloggers be?

As vulnerable as we’re willing to be courageous.  As vulnerable as we’re willing to let others view our perceived brokenness.  As vulnerable as we’re willing to allow others to have their differing opinions about us.  As vulnerable as our tender and gentle hearts can allow.

It’s not safe to be vulnerable before our hearts will allow for opposing opinions, before our hearts realize their innate courage, as in that cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz who finally realized his own strengths.

Half revealed

Yes, readers, there are secrets I won’t tell you.  I can’t tell you, yet, because my heart isn’t ready.  There are many things you won’t share of yourself–because your heart wisely keeps you sheltered as you build strength and confidence.

I love reading posts where people express vulnerability.  Where they’re clear and ready to admit their uncertainty, their insecurity, their perceived failings, their flounderings…as well as their strengths, their daring, their courage, their pizzazz.

These bloggers share that they’re gay, frightened, liberal, conservative, unhappy, prejudiced, delighted, miserable, annoyed…fill in your own proclivity or inclination or shame…they speak it, truthfully, honestly, sharing.

Maybe their hearts pound in fright.  Maybe they sweat.  But they type the words because their heart has told them “it’s time”.  Time to share.  Time to reveal.  Time to speak the truth.

Sometimes those posts unsettle us.  The blatant honest disturbs our own half-buried feelings. They reflect an uncertainty, a vulnerability, that scares the bejesus out of our own uncertainties.  These posts sometimes reflect what’s not yet entirely conscious in us, what still wishes to remain hidden.  Yet, they invite the hidden to reveal itself.

The invitation is always there.

Fractured

My heart has been scared typing vulnerabilities so many times in the past five or six years.  I have wanted to erase, erase, press delete, c’mon quick!  But I have heeded an inner call which also insists, “there are others out there who need to hear your truths, so that they can begin to embrace their own vulnerabilities more fully.”

When we share our vulnerabilities, we must realize that not everyone will listen with wide-open non-judgemental minds.  Many will rush in to try to fix, to heal, to make better.  (I once did that, too.  Now I’ve learned that Sacred Listening is the greatest healer of all, and that striving to fix or heal may prove much more detrimental.)  Some will scurry to tell their own stories without sitting patiently with your story.  (I am guilty of that too often, especially on-line.)

Some will brazenly judge you.  They will call you wrong.  They will attempt to shame you. They will totally misunderstand what you’re trying to communicate.  They will label you, throw you in their mental jail, and toss away the key.

Danger

But others, sweet others, will listen and find that same vulnerable resonance within.  They will remember certain similar situations.  They will relate.  They will be with you, stay with you, cry with you, support you.  They will help you integrate your vulnerabilities, precious soft places in your opening heart.

How vulnerable dare we be?

Ask your heart if it’s ready to share, if you’re strong enough.

Then tell us about the imperfect perfection of who you are.

We may even discovered that we really weren’t broken after all.  You never know.

Reconcilliation

 

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
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79 Responses to How vulnerable dare we bloggers be?

  1. Beautiful post – you made so many wonderful points – one of the things that I try to comfort myself with was in a list of “zen” things: “it is none of your business what others think of you”–while it does not always work, it helps bring me back to a more comfortable place
    I tend not to show too many of my vulnerabilities–except perhaps to poke fun at them–as I know I am not in a place to accept criticism, but when people open up and share it make me feel like I am not the only one with a problem – I try to do that, but really limit myself–maybe I will get braver………

  2. sybil says:

    I’m a rotten listener. As people are telling me something, I’m not giving them my full attention as I’m thinking about what I’ll say next — something that will make me look smart or funny or insightful. I do this in comments too. I’m always “on”. Performing. I used to think that I was being honest and that others hung on my every word, only now, at age 62 am I trying to STOP. To REALLY LISTEN without thinking about what I’ll say next. Without thinking what I have to say is so rivetting that it warrants me interrupting the speaker to bestow upon them my “similar” story or observation.

    • Kathy says:

      Hello Again, Sybil! I like talking to you via email AND blog. I love your comment. I won’t repeat everything I said via email because, well, just because, I like you so much.

  3. “When we’re finally ready to tell our secrets, we’re often surprised to discover a huge support network ready to hug, to empathize, to embrace.”

    Ah yes. This is the best part of sharing. The absolute best!

  4. lisaspiral says:

    I really liked this post. It is difficult to be vulnerable no matter what the circumstances. I too enjoy the bloggers who are willing to go there making the distinction between being vulnerable and wallowing in it. 🙂 The optimistic outlook, the vulnerability with the path to healing revealed, hearts cracked open those are inspiring posts.

    I think we listen differently when we read than when we are in person listening with our ears. On the page there’s more space. If something is confusing we just reread rather than stopping or changing the flow. Even the sharing of stories, which you claim to be prone to, is different on line. In person the space between the bloggers story and the response, if it’s too short, makes the blogger feel they weren’t given the time to be heard. That just doesn’t happen on line (even when it’s true).

    On the hard side is getting the on line criticism for our vulnerability. It’s harder to disagree or debate without stepping on toes or pushing buttons. But most of the time I think the rewards of both the freedom and support are worth it.

    • Kathy says:

      Lisa, thank you for bringing up the distinction between being vulnerable and wallowing in it. There is a point in blogging where we begin to wallow in our vulnerability–and that place is not helpful for ourselves or our readers. I like that you recognize the middle ground, that place between hard edges. I wish that it was possible to pause in blog commenting before sharing our stories. I think I shall continue sharing stories even though it feels like there has not been a long enough pause, because it feels important to empathize, to say “I’ve been there, too.”

  5. Elisa's Spot says:

    I erased, it was to vulnerable. I cannot allow it.

  6. Susan Derozier says:

    Kathy – This blog really struck a chord in me. Reading your amazing blogs over the past year, I have pondered the difference between my “journaling’ and the now popular ‘blogging’ venue. You are so correct about asking ourselves what do we have the courage to share. Over the years, I had shared parts of my journals with people I thought would be supportive and understanding. Unfortunately, these fell into your group that preferred to label. For that reason, I cautioned my students to protect their privacy when doing serious journaling work. It is a fine line as you explain.
    You have such an amazing gift of sharing not only your own vulnerability but that of your subjects. It draws me in and cements a connection with you on the deepest of human levels. I don’t have your courage but I am so grateful that you do!
    And above that I think that sometimes we just need to follow the “flow’ of the speaker/blogger rather than try to ponder the words or figure out some deeper meaning. Sometimes it seems as though the wind just blows words through me and I simply do my part in writing them down.
    Thank you for that courage and thank you for stimulating our thoughts and emotions through your authentic sharing.

    • Kathy says:

      Susan, I read your comment three times. You can’t know how much your words mean to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (One for each time of reading.) I am sorry that your journals fell upon the ears of labelers. I am glad to be inspiring you that it’s possible to find a middle ground of listeners, half way between labelers and sympathetic ears. It has meant a lot to me to know that you exist.

  7. It’s not easy to be vulnerable but sometimes the risk is worth the reward.

  8. Sara says:

    My parents read my blog periodically (not big computer people) and my dad once commented “you bare your soul!” My response was “Dad, I’m much deeper than this.” My blog isn’t a place for me to be vulnerable, but that’s just the nature of my blog. However, it’s always tricky to know when, where, and to whom you can be vulnerable. Or not. Depending on how brave you are. Nice post, and beautiful pictures, as always.

    • Kathy says:

      Sara, pssst…if no one is listening I will share something with you. It’s hard to bare our souls to our relatives who are reading our blogs. I often feel I am not the same person with everyone. Writing this blog has revealed “who I am” to relatives and friends who have never known all these varied sides. It’s been hard. I am so glad you understand.

  9. Lovely post, Kathy! My thought is that we are all vulnerable to the invalidation and evaluation of others until we realize that those type of comments are actually only made to lessen or reduce your beingness. Once you realize that, you are invulnerable and it is the commenter who is showing their own flaw in interpersonal relations.

    • Kathy says:

      Patty, I pray that all of us will not be vulnerable to invalidation any more–that we reach that point beyond invalidation. Our beingness is so precious! I think sometimes, when we totally, 100%, embrace our own beingness we will be totally impervious to anything the “other” might say.

  10. It is very hard – sometimes impossible – to put the “whole truth” out there. I do believe that the best writing, fiction or non-fiction, holds that kernel of truth that grabs us and lets us see the characters or the writer as real. In these essays, it’s tempting often to show only the person I would like to be, not the person that I actually am, complete. I remind myself that I’m not here to write a fairy tale. Thanks, Kathy, for another thought-provoking post!

    • Kathy says:

      Cindy, I am wondering if it’s EVER possible to put the “whole truth” out there. No, no, no…it is not…yet, yes, yes, yes, we sometimes try. I like that you are thinking about that kernel of truth. I like that you don’t write fairy tales (OK, sometime it’s fun and appropriate that we do.) I like you. I like your honesty and vulnerability.

  11. Carol says:

    You raise questions in my mind, as you often do. An I vulnerable? Am I open when I post? I suspect you are open to the degree with which you are comfortable, and I suspect that is true of most of us. There are those things that will remain hidden, perhaps forever, perhaps just until the time seems right. There are those parts of me that I will not share because I view those parts as ugly. I do not want you, the world, to see my ugly.

    • Kathy says:

      Carol, I like that we make one another think and question. I don’t always like the answers I find within myself. But then it’s always interesting to discover WHY we’ve chosen to act in ways that we have. I don’t walk the world to see my ugly, either. Sometimes I’m afraid I’ve shown my ugly. At other times, I’m delighted that sharing my ugly helps transform others. It’s a humble journey we’re on, yes?

  12. ‘as vulnerable as our hearts will allow.’ Easier for some than others. I love your danger sign – its perfect. And yes we are all broken in some way I suppose but then we must define broken. such a lovey heart felt post. Thank you!

  13. susan says:

    Kathy, so many good points here! And I’ve been off line for two days and have missed a couple of blogs you’ve written already – lady, you have a book inside you!
    Hugs
    SuZen

    • Kathy says:

      SueZen, I always love to read your comments! I always want to hop in the car and drive two hours south and kayak with you! I wonder where these intentions go…but always know I am thinking of you.

  14. debyemm says:

    I am a committed believer in sharing without shying away from the vulnerability. Though there have been times, I have selectively chosen not to share some “detail”, I’m fairly well known to go pretty far in what I’m willing to admit. I’ve rarely found “shocked” reactions, but it happens sometimes. I always interpret it to be more about the comfort level of my reader, than any anxiety I should take upon myself by their recommendation of doing so to me. ;-}

    You blog deeply from your core self so beautifully, Kathy. It is why I love reading your blogs – they are authentic and genuine. Like a breath of fresh air to my soul.

    • Kathy says:

      Deb, I’ve been thinking about you lately. You are someone who seems to share who & what you are with deliberate presence. You go pretty far. I think we are the same in that. I think sometimes you are better able to recognize what part is your reader’s reflection. Sometimes I take on more than necessary.

      I love that you acknowledge the core self who is attempting to communicate here. I do try to be authentic and genuine–but sometimes feel that this fails. I want to be more authentic and genuine than I share. (Perhaps the answer is just honoring that what’s shared is “perfect”.)

      Thank you from the bottom of this imperfect perfect soul.

  15. Heather says:

    Such wisdom in this post, such openness. I admire and appreciate that you share so openly. Like others, you have me questioning myself. I can never decide what I want my blog to be, or if I should write another blog to accommodate those other parts of myself, or if I should not blog and just BE.
    Also, I think you’re right about the listener thing – I sometimes find myself trying to think of what to say next instead of just listening – I try to do better. Sometimes I actually *do* do better.

    • Kathy says:

      Heather, questioning ourselves is good, I think. (I can never decide what I want my blog to be, either.) It’s such a fine balance. Listening is such a fine balance. Life is such a fine balance. Maybe it’s all OK.

  16. What wonderful comments by readers as well as Kathy’s replies! Everyone has such wonderful views to share on how far one should go in revealing oneself.

    I am reminded of Sidney Jourard’s “The Transparent Self”. He posits that “through my self-disclosure, I let others know my soul. They can know it, really know it, only as I make it known.” He talks about Tillich and his book “The Courage To Be” or the courage to be known; The Delphic Oracle “Know Thyself” or to make thyself known and then thou wilt know thyself; or Shakespeare, “To thine own self be true,…and thou cans’t not then be false to any man.” or to restate to any other man be true and then thou cans’t not be true to thyself.

    As children we were our real selves; we ranted about what we wanted, how we felt and screamed when we did not get our way and learned to suffer the consequences; could this have laid the foundation to with hold certain information because of the consequences we suffered through our lives when we really truly revealed our wishes and dreams.

    A worthy topic, Kathy, for discussion lasting not only for one blog or blogger but for all who come and stay awhile. To question, to debate, to care and to wonder…just how much can we share? how much do we really want to share; or to read and move on and say nothing because fear is the ever present enemy.

    • Kathy says:

      Linda, your thoughts are so appreciated as well. (And I am going to take a few days off blogging this Labor Day weekend so this post can remain Front & Center so others can contemplate this more, as well.) Thanks for sharing the works of so many others who have pondered being true to ourselves. May fear be transformed from an enemy to a friend…if that is possible for all of us.

  17. Susan D. says:

    Sniffle … this has come at just the right time … that is no mistake. Thank you, dearest friend, for this wonderful offering today.

  18. Barb says:

    I am definitely a better listener than a teller Kathy. Privately, I may reveal much, but on the blog, I’m more reticent.

    • Kathy says:

      It’s been scary to keep pushing my own buttons and being more vulnerable than I sometimes want to be in blogging, Barb. In “real life” I listen more than tell, too, except with close-close friends. Gosh, just think, we might both be completely silent & awkward if/when we meet because both of us wanted to listen! lol…nahh, probably wouldn’t happen.

  19. Barb says:

    PS wanted to mention that the photos are wowza!

  20. Joanne says:

    Would it sound strange to reveal that I find it easier to confide in my online friends than my “real people” friends and family? I don’t feel judged by online friends, and as you said, when you reveal a piece of your soul online, quite often, no, usually, you find that your online friends feel the same way. I don’t know how many times I’ve read a vulnerable bloggers online story, and sent hugs to them across the world, just because I know that’s all they need. Words are often not neccessary at all. It’s just the releasing of a pain, using the written word, to people who you haven’t actually met in person, which begins the healing process, or clarifies your mind. Just knowing that your online support sysyems is there for you is enough. How did we survive without our “invisible” friends? I’ve met one person in person, who I met online, and the non-judgemental friendship has continued since our meeting. Isn’t that the best? I love your words today Kathy. Oh, that’s right, I actually love your words every day!! 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      It does not sound strange at all, Joanne. Your description here of on-line friends and vulnerability and support is very beautiful. It is a special gift, indeed, when we meet a non-judgmental friend. I think I am much more “outgoing” on line than off-line. In the “real world” I tend to listen more than talk, although not always…depends on with whom. And I hardly ever call anyone “Ms. Joanne” in person. Except my friend Susan D. I wouldn’t hesitate to call her Ms. Susan to her face. 🙂 Thank you for your love! I love your words–and pictures–too.

  21. rehill56 says:

    Hola dearest Kathy! I’ve been reading your blog and thought it was about time for a comment. I’ve missed you 😉 I love your authenticity, your genuineness…your openness.

    I think we become ready to share our vulnerabilities when we begin to feel more comfortable with who we are regardless of how others see us and that can be a tall order for people pleasers and the sensitive who don’t want to hurt anyone with their beliefs or true feelings.

    Not totally related but I think I’ve had many people in my life, close family. who find it easy to “kid” with me and I think that has always helped me not to take myself too too seriously! But family can also be labelers easily.

    The other night my son and husband were having some sort of discussion that pertained to someone’s actions. I offered a reason why the person might have done or felt a certain way. They looked at me and said half smiling…you are always apologizing for others! I said, “I’m sorry”.

    lol We all cracked up.
    I don’t think I am taking myself too seriously these days…..or trying not to!! Enjoy your labor day weekend!

    Hope the patient is doing well. I feel like I’ve crossed into a new stage of healing…not quite there yet but I do see hope peeking out from under the covers!

    Love to you
    R

    • Kathy says:

      Dearest Ruth, I am DELIGHTED to see you! Glad to hear that you’ve entered a new stage of healing–that you’re peeking out. Can you believe school starts next week? Wow…another summer flew by…except maybe you knee patients don’t think “flew by” exactly describes it.

      Thank you for feeling this blog is authentic. I try…even though I don’t reveal ALL vulnerabilities. I know what you mean about being around kidders–yep, that surely helps us not take ourselves too seriously! We learn to laugh at ourselves and our crazy antics.

      Ha ha about being sorry all the time! I am sorry you feel that way, just kiddin’, that is hysterical! Thank you for pausing to share of yourself here. Keep on healing & maybe we’ll see you at the school, although our schedules are so darn different. Love, Kathy

  22. dawnkinster says:

    Love the half buried shot…and the half revealed. 🙂

  23. Stacy Lyn says:

    When I first started blogging a couple of years ago, my topic was writing. It was a way to reach kids. Then I moved into different domains – my interests. And now, I also write what I feel like telling – or as you say, what my heart wants me to tell when it’s ready. Sometimes, I just need to throw stuff out into the universe to get it out of my head….stuff that won’t wait to be inserted into a novel. I still journal, but sometimes there is a need to share. Blogging is good for that. ❤

    • Kathy says:

      Stacy Lyn, I so understand much of what you’re saying. It’s interesting how our blogs change over time, isn’t it? I started out blogging about personal stuff on Live Journal with four readers, then blogged about spirituality on a spiritual website. Then wrote an entire year of nature/outdoor daily posts. Then moved on to this more eclectic anything-goes blog which both comforts me & keeps me uncomfortable because I stray from my comfort zone. Sometimes it doesn’t matter leaving the comfort zone, and other times it hurts. So it feels like this blog is good spiritual practice! (Some day I am going to be 100% comfortable with all the different parts of self. Same with you?)

  24. Claire says:

    What a captivating read this post is. I have not yet aired my vulnerabilities, anxieties or innermost me however I may do if/when the time feels right. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Claire, thank you for thinking this is captivating. The subject certainly captivated me this week and I thought lots about it. Glad you enjoyed and will listen to when/if your heart nudges more airing. Love, Kathy

  25. Marianne says:

    Great question, Kathy! And great comments as well.

    I think there are as many degrees of vulnerability as there are people in the world. It’s no wonder there are so many different reactions to being vulnerable. For me personally, I like being “real”. Just last night, I was out with a couple of young women. At the end of the night, one of the women thanked me for being so open, honest and “real”. I replied that I have nothing to hide and we’re all dealing with something (either consciously or unconsciously) and it just seems like a natural thing for me to do. However, it wasn’t always that way. It’s been a process.

    Thanks for sharing, Kathy. The photos are very lovely as well.

    Wishing you a wonderful labor day weekend. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Thank you for reading and commenting, Marianne. I was so interested in your opinion about this. Your idea that we are “real” sounds good. When we are open and honest, I think that usually strikes a chord of resounding empathy in others. Wishing you a wonderful weekend as well. Talk with you soon.

  26. lucindalines says:

    Wow! I tried reading all the comments, but wasn’t able to. I so enjoyed this post. I agree about vulnerability. I find blogging to be so much freer for me as a writer because I feel the audience is so much wider than when I was writing for a local newspaper. Yet, I catch myself sometimes thinking, “What if a sister or a family member reads this?” I don’t mind if my daughters read it. I want them to know their real mother, but some of the others…not so much. I have a persona with them that needs to, well, be protected. Why is it always easier to be more real with strangers than with our family? I find that in person too, like when I go to teacher conventions or workshops on my own. Kathy, thanks again for bringing up the subject.

    • Kathy says:

      Gosh, Lucinda, there are so many comments that it would have taken a long time to read them all! It’s probably deep down in the comments enough for me to agree with you about certain family members reading this blog. I often wonder what certain family members think when they read this blog (I vulnerably typed who that was, but then erased it because I don’t want her/him to think I’ve singled her/him out.) It is sometimes easier to be more real with strangers. Fascinating to contemplate this subject!

  27. Robin says:

    More thoughts to ponder in another gorgeous post. I have trouble sharing some things because they involve more than me, and I’ve had to walk that very fine line between sharing my life and exposing the lives of others. No man (or woman) is an island, and all of that. Little things come out now and then, and maybe more will do so as time goes on. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      I am glad to hear your thoughts, Robin. Yes, often I edit my thoughts do to consideration of loved ones. Fortunately (or unfortunately) our kids & family grew up as Main Characters of Barry’s weekly newspaper column, so we grew immune to public attention. We are not islands…we are oh so connected…it is good that you honor the feelings of your loved ones.

  28. sonali says:

    Thank you Kathy for bringing out this topic. Many a times we cannot open up and expose our thoughts due to the social fear. Fear of what others might think and judge us. How do we freely open up our mind to the world? Its difficult. I think & think and shut myself off. I don’t know.

    • Kathy says:

      Sonali, I thought this was a good topic to explore. Social fear can be so scary. It IS difficult. There are no easy answers. It’s good that we could think and talk about this. Love, Kathy

  29. raven's witch says:

    great topic…i can share the ugly/aweful/sweet/nice generalities of my life/past. just not the specifics.i go all street talk and become the me i used to be when writing about my past. i’m blessed to have an ordinary day to day humdrum life now with not much excitement 😉

    • Kathy says:

      Raven’s witch, I am trying to imagine how street talk might sound in a blog. Sometimes it’s not necessary to share the specifics…and sometimes it is. I am glad you like your ordinary life. Sometimes ordinary lives are the very best. Then we can get all excited when the hummingbirds visit, and ordinary things like that.

      • raven's witch says:

        lol..it would be all cuss words and phrases no one but criminals would understand,plus when i’m talking to some people in my drug counselor classes that have been addicts i have noticed how much anger and rage comes out of us. i had my little war so to speak with some people from a prison forum on here once and it wasn’t pretty,they pushed me to ‘reply’ to their crap after i posted about how rude and mean they are to the type of people they claim to understand(they write to inmate penpals) but hated me and posted mean and smart a$$ed stuff to me in that forum,(i had been a member). and because i refrained they thought i was some lame a$$ that was faking cancer and a prior drug addiction,that’s why i have the link to one of them’s blog in a few post in the “about me and this blog” area.well actually they are back up cause she kept her blog article and probably all the responses to it up. so long story short i got all “street” on them,in my replies back in july) awhile back when you first replied to me on something.i had actually thought you were one of them at first because one’s name was kathy but she had no picture in her gravatar. i do get all excited over the most trivial things now, in a way i feel like teenager that has to figure out which way to go with their lives,like which path do i take. cause i am so afraid of wasting my second chance. thanks for replying 🙂

        • Kathy says:

          It doesn’t sound like you will waste your second chance, Raven. It sounds like you are truly being led to follow a path of spirit. Perhaps the raven will show you the way. Thank you for sharing of yourself and also realizing that I was a different kind of Kathy. Blessings…

  30. jenion says:

    I loved this post! It echoes my experiences and thoughts beautifully! Thanks.

    • Kathy says:

      Jenion, I am so glad you enjoyed this. I wrote this with my heart and hoped that other open hearts might find something here, too. Thank you for pausing to comment.

  31. Val says:

    For the moment I’m going to skip reading about two thirds of your other commenters’ comments as I want to focus on what I want to say to you. (I’ll return another time and read them as they’re worthy of being read!)

    You, my friend Kathy, and I think of you as my friend – are a wonder. When I first found your blog, I think it was just after you’d finished your photoblog and I was curious to know who was the woman behind them.

    I’ve read so many of your words and in them are so many different moods, thoughts, reminscences, ideas, hopes, wishes, sadnesses, longings and philosophies. I say ‘philosophies’ plural because just when I thought I’d pinpointed one, another would come along. You are like water, you change, but you’re there. And like water, you need a vessel of some sort to hold your form and to show that form. I think blogging is one of your vessels, it shapes you and you help show what it is. Other of your vessels are your family, your friends, nature, your childhood, your need to write and your need to take photographs. Your need to talk and your need to be silent. Your need to be with others and your need to flee from us from time to time to just ‘be’.

    I’m very fond of you and I hope that one day we might meet in person. 🙂 Hugs.

    • Kathy says:

      Val, I think you know how much this comment means to me. I can only say, once again, “thank you.” The river danced as I read your words! Your ability to see deeply is amazing. Namaste, sister. Namaste…

  32. jeffstroud says:

    kathy,

    Thank you for leading me over here to this vulnerable blog! You are so correct, there is a time and place for sharing certain aspects about ourselves. In someway I think blogging is a more safer space because, even through it is open, we have attracted like minded bloggers to share with or they would not be reading your blog.

    One of the reasons, I think I have not blogged all summer is because of allowing myself to be vulnerable, to open the wound, share the confusion that seems to have surround me in the past few months.

    And it is not the bloggers who read and who share it is my own inability to look deep within that place.

    Jeff

    • Kathy says:

      Jeff, I am glad you came over to this vulnerable blog to read. I have always admired your willingness to be vulnerable on your blog–you are one of my vulnerability gurus! Blessings as you let vulnerability teach you. Blessings as the river of you decides to share or stay silent. Thank you for your friendship.

  33. Pingback: Exposing the Soft Belly « Jenion

  34. You are very wise, Kathy. Revealing our vulnerability is not always easy. Verbalizing our fears and problems can often be too difficult, but we can use words on paper or the computer to express ourselves better. There are still things we cannot say whether on paper, computer screen or by mouth, those deep dark secrets that trouble us the most. Exposing them to strangers is almost impossible, but revealing them to those we consider friends is more possible. Mind you, we often choose to whom we tell them, as there are those we fear may not take things seriously, or they will judge us. Courage may dissipate in the face of our fears, but a true friend will build us up and never judge. Let’s hope each of us has that special someone who will quietly accept our words when we are at our most vulnerable. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Thank you, withershins, for your words here. The phrase that resonates right now is: “a true friend will build us up and never judge.” Like you, I wish that each and every one of us has a true friend like that. Someone who accepts our vulnerabilities and strengthens us, instead of seeing only lack.

  35. dearrosie says:

    Hey Kathy how did you know that this is exactly what I needed to hear right now? I can understand why Val wrote that beautiful comment, after reading this post. I feel you’ve given me permission to be honest and share my true feelings. Thank you. I will.

    • Kathy says:

      I am glad that you needed to hear this, Rosie. When we’re ready, the Universe gives us permission to share at a deeper level. But not until we’re ready, I believe…

  36. Oh my God, reading this was wow! I know exactly what you are talking about….!!!!
    I have felt these emotions often, in varying degrees. More so, since Nov-Dec last year. In fact, if you read posts from this July onwards on my blog, you will know how I understand it so well. Thank you for writing this & sharing it out here, Kathy.

    P.S. – I came here through Val’s new blog and am so glad for it 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      I am so glad you came to visit via Val’s blog, Idealistic Thinker. So glad also that you understand. I know what you mean about the varying degrees of emotions. It felt important to share this blog.

  37. Pingback: Condemned in a Court called Social Media | Sugarcoat It!

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