anybody awake out there?

Autumn leaf underwater

hey, is anybody else awake in the middle of this deepest darkest night?  does anyone else cuddle beneath warm pink and white comforter on couch listening to minutes tick by?

do you hear the refrigerator humming?  are you hungry?  do you dig in the frig and eat leftover chinese food from the restaurant, do you, even though you know you shouldn’t fill your stomach at midnight, but you do it anyway, such a rebel?

do you turn on your computer even though you know you should leave it off & dark, silent & still, so as not to get your creative communicative wheels spinning?

do you sit silently instead, listening, hour after dark hour, the coyotes howling at your sleeplessness?

do you hear raccoons and skunks foraging, night creatures digging holes in your lawn, gnawing and munching tasty dark treats, probably as delicious to them as leftover garlic chicken mixed with crispy crunchy carrots and beans and brocoli?

oh listen to that owl hooting at your meal.  he’d rather eat a mouse.

should you start a fire in the wood stove because autumn approaches like a sleepless night, something you want to push away in favor of sweet warm comforts?

should you walk outside in the dark, would you shiver in fear, would you jump at unknown crackles or would you celebrate the mystery of the night, the magic of dark shadows, the infinite unknowings of your life?

are you getting sleepy now?  do your bed sheets beckon?  does the moon want to whisper yet another secret in your waning ear?  does it speak of shape-shifting, always appearing and dissolving, always changing its womanly curves?

relax into the night, fellow traveler.  morning brings new treasures, new autumn leaves falling into the water of your soul.

blink your sleepy eyes and yawn.  relax into the dawn of the next sacred moment, precious one.

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
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73 Responses to anybody awake out there?

  1. Kathy says:

    And look. Dear Rosie from http://rosannefreed.wordpress.com/ is here visiting my blog making comments in the middle of the night. Rosie, I don’t know if you’ll see this post, but I am glad you’re here with me at this witching hour.

  2. Brenda Hardie says:

    I’m still awake..finally able to sit down and unwind after a very busy day. And if I lived in the woods…I would very much love to go outside and just sit in the noisy silence of the woodland creatures ♥ Maybe at first it would startle me…and maybe even frighten me a little…at least until I became used to the comings and goings of the night. I know whenever I went camping it was like that…the first night I would be apprehensive but after that it became very comfortable. And tonight I am simply relaxing after a long day in the garden and then in the kitchen and then cleaning. Going to my aunt’s and then to my sister’s tomorrow. Just found out my aunt will be grama for TWO babies this coming January! Both her daughters are expecting babies! One is having a boy, the other has chosen to not learn the baby’s sex until it’s born. It’s very exciting!! I can’t wait! And my sister is having a huge garage sale this week and wants me to come see if there is anything I want before the sale begins. So as soon as my allergy medicine kicks in, I’ll be going to bed. Ragweed has been causing my allergies to go crazy today. Enjoy your evening dear friend of the northwoods ♥

    • Kathy says:

      Hello, Brenda! Well it’s nice hearing from you tonight. What wonderful news for you and your aunt! That is wonderful-exciting. I am, however, so sorry that you’re having crazy allergies today. No fun. Are you usually up this late? I am usually asleep before ten, except on these sleepless nights which seem to be coming more often in recent years…

      • Brenda Hardie says:

        yep…I’m up this late most nights…always been a night owl! But I am finding I need more sleep now as I age, so I need to discipline myself to get to bed earlier…especially since I usually like to read before I turn out the light. As for the allergies…this is the only time I suffer from allergies…ragweed season. And today must have been a high pollen day because I was sneezing and blowing my nose and itching my face all day long! I’m sure my nose will be all red tomorrow…lol Sure hope you can rest easy tonight Kathy…long sleepless nights can be troublesome if you don’t have something to pass the time.

  3. John Kuttenberg says:

    Hey, are there any rattlesnake beans left? I can come right over

  4. emaclean says:

    It’s curl up with a good book time!

  5. Colleen says:

    A sleepless night here too Kathy. Indulging in midnight cookies, thinking about making some chamomile tea. Wanting another fig cookie, and I don’t even particularly care for fig cookies but it appeals right now. Hope you are dreaming sweet dreams by now.

  6. there are times i cannot sleep and comment in the middle of the night on blogs on hope on fear on tomorrow on moons and fellow night travelers wondering if there is anyone awake i could call but not last night i worked really really hard all day so that i might sleep

    • Kathy says:

      dear linda, i shall tell you a secret. i didn’t sleep worth beans last night either. hope it’s a phase. did you see the moon last night in its slivered light?

      • i did and was lovely
        my next door neighbor’s brother-in-law died
        i had known him a long time….from Pittsburg
        it is very sad for my neighbor who is 84 and suffering from dementia caused by two major strokes and some TIA’s, i think
        we walk…today she cried and i think the whole world is crying today

  7. Val says:

    I’m glad you’re able to perceive anything other than desire to get back to sleep, when you are awake during the night, Kathy. Myself, I usually either wake to go to the bathroom (many times per night, usually) or I’ve not got to sleep at all. Actually I’m trying lately to go to bed a bit earlier, it’s been between 3am and 4am for months and it’s telling on my health which has never been good in the first place.

    I don’t turn on my computer at night, I daren’t or I’d never get back to bed at all! 😉

    I need to email you about something different, look out for an email from me.

    • Kathy says:

      Val, between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m.? Really, you can do that? What time do you get up when you go to bed so late? I am really an early-to-bed person. 9 to 10 p.m. It is certainly hard to perceive anything other than our desire for sleep. But I do not want to let that desire-for-sleep part to run the show. But it’s so hard because it would be really really really really nice to sleep.

  8. CMSmith says:

    Not tonight. But many times before.

  9. Dawn says:

    If the weather permits I sit outside and watch the night sky. I feel asleep out there last night. 🙂

  10. Dawn says:

    Looks like you had a lot of company last night Kathy. Hope you are still asleep this morning. I’d try to go outside, but would be scared of all those night noises. I think. Unless I was in a tent. With my dog.

    Hope you have a wonderful Sunday!

    • Kathy says:

      Those night noises can be scary at times. You think the littlest snuffling is a HUGE bear approaching when it’s really a mouse. lol. I hope you have a wonderful Tuesday!

  11. Wow – lots of nocturnals! Who knew?

    When my head hits the pillow I’m gratefully down-for-the-count!

    Beautiful post, Kathy.

    • Kathy says:

      Laurie, once upon a time I was gratefully down for the count when my head hit the pillow. Sigh. I am blaming all of this on spirituality. All of it. 🙂

  12. Such poetry in those questions, Kathy! For me, the night is usually my friend, but my bladder isn’t! lol

    I wish I could have slept in this morning and yesterday morning but our beloved, yet noisy, kitty was scratching and meowing at out bedroom door far too early considering what time we went to bed. (sigh!)

    Hope you finally managed to get some shut-eye. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Oh our bladders, withershins! I wonder what a poem about bladders might sound like, lol. I will tell kitty not to bother you in future mornings.

      • Thanks, but I think he gets more lonely at night than hungry. He used to sleep in my daughter’s room when she was living at home and is still technically her cat. Because of his health issues, she couldn’t take him with her.

        Hmmm, what would a poem about bladders sound like? I’m sure there would be a lot of gurgles & tinkle sounds in it! lol

  13. I have many a night like that – you expressed it so well – especially trying to make a decision at to whether to stay up and enjoy or go to bed — the silence of the night though is beautiful

  14. Susan D. says:

    Ohhhh so many nights like yours, but not last night. I feel my body yielding to the cooler temps and resting, resting, so relieved to be no longer fighting the heat. I do forage on my insomniac nights, and I occasionally go on a little stroll outside around the building. There’s a sweet little tree hidden by a back entrance, and I can sit there and gaze at the sky and sniff the sweet night air. I hope that you will find rest today. That grainy-eyed feeling after a restless night isn’t particularly sweet. Hugs, Kathy Sue!

    • Kathy says:

      I do like the thought of you pausing by that sweet little tree, Susan. If it weren’t for these grainy eyes, perhaps we would be better able to handle sleeplessness. I had a wonderful sleep on Sunday night–10 hours without blinking, but was up all except three hours last night again. Alas.

  15. Oh, this was wonderfully written and perfectly describes a sleepless night. When I was younger, one would lead to another and another, until I was spent. Now, one sleepless night will be followed by many nights of good sleep, making up for the loss. Also, when I was younger, a sleepless night was productive…clean the refrigerator, put a coat of wax on a floor, crochet or even paint…now, if I get up, I don’t seem to have the energy to do much of anything with the time. That, and knowing that I’ll be less productive the next day because of not getting enough sleep causes me to try to stay in bed, relax and rest even if sleep won’t come. Thanks, Kathy!

    • Kathy says:

      Cindy, last night I was thinking of your comment about the MANY nights of good sleep following a sleepless bout. I was sure I’d be able to sleep well last night. But, alas. Not to happen. You cleaned the frig during a sleepless night? WOW! Did anyone ever give you an award for that?

  16. lisaspiral says:

    I have all together too many nights like this one and I love them. It’s getting up the next morning and then trying to get back into a “reasonable” schedule that’s difficult. They seem to come up like spurts of creativity. I don’t seem to be able to conjure them with intention, only to embrace them as they occur. Yours sounds cozy, and like you had good company.

    • Kathy says:

      Interesting that you love them, Lisa. I want to love them, too. So far it’s a 50-50 proposition during the sleepless nights. I can only love being awake half the time. Embracing them seems like the answer. Your words are very wise!

  17. Munira says:

    i made myself a warm mug of chocolate milk and indulged in some cookies 🙂
    Oh…such restless souls we are….

  18. Carol says:

    So productive in the wee hours of the night! When I awaken and cannot return to sleep immediately, I linger in the bed, resisting being fully awake, longing for fully asleep, irritated because it doesn’t come as quickly as I want. I dare not get up and start something, as that would tell my girls they can be up and their day can start. No no! Not when it’s dark!

    • Kathy says:

      A ho, Carol! I can see what you mean about waking your girls. They would have you up and about half the night. But how can you stay in bed awake for so many hours? Don’t you just HAVE to rise and move about after a while? I can lay there maybe 2-3 hours and then it’s enough, time to move & do something else.

  19. susan says:

    Hey Kathy, whatcha doin? That’s so many questions, ponderings and wonderings to be having no wonder you cannot sleep! I’ve pretty much slept like a rock up in the Northwoods – the air is so crisp now, cuddling under the covers is delightful. I think all the daily activities here exhaust me into a good sleep. (Blame it on Pickleball, haha)
    Hugs
    SuZen

  20. lucindalines says:

    Love your post. I was awake late last night being sad about the excitement of the new life my son-in-law will have and the saddness of them eventually leaving their first home. When I finished writing, I heard voices outside and accidently got in on seeing some teenage boys hop in a car with girls that might or might not have been their girlfriends. I felt like an undercover spy. It was fun!!

    • Kathy says:

      Laughing out loud thinking of you as an undercover spy, Lucinda. The night covers up as much as it reveals! I do imagine your bittersweet feelings about your family’s new stage of life.

  21. Joanne says:

    I used to love spending time awake, and alone, during the night, just listening to the sounds of the night, enjoying the solitude and contemplating my own thoughts. With a house full of people though, who wake you up early in the morning when you want to sleep a little longer, I found that I would spend the day feeling tired!

    Now I sleep all night long, and enjoy reading the thoughts of those who are awake during the night. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Joanne, thank you my friend. I so long to make friends with the night. To not feel the need to sleep if Awareness doesn’t want to sleep. It’s this Oneness thingee that’s keeping me awake. It feels like pure energy…

      • Joanne says:

        That sounds like such a luxury, to only sleep when you feel like it, and stay awake when Awareness would like you to. I hope Oneness will allow you to have a good nights sleep tonight though. It’s a human thing…we need to sleep sometimes! 🙂

  22. Heather says:

    I was up with you, but I put my computer away – I actually walked away from it and left it on my kitchen counter because it kept beckoning – but I haven’t been back to it since then. I am almost always up at that hour. Our “bedtime” is usually about 2 am. We still manage to get plenty of sleep since we work at home now, and can wake and work in our PJ’s, but I used to do a 6:30am – 1:00am waking shift while I taught. *shudder*
    I’m impressed that you dealt with the sleeplessness so gracefully. I’ve been trying to learn to handle my unwelcome sleeplessness better, but I often am frustrated and feel desperate if I don’t get back to sleep. Here’s hoping you enjoyed your burst of creativity and still got enough sleep to power you through the next day 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Heather, wow, 2 a.m.! I can hardly fathom it. (Barry used to come to bed in the middle of the night, too. He didn’t seem to need as much sleep as me.) Please do not think I handled sleeplessness that gracefully!! About half the time it felt graceful. the other half there was that irritation that sleep didn’t arrive. Had another sleepless night last night! How bout you?

      • Heather says:

        I have been fighting a bit of a cold, so I am more tired than usual and have been sleeping right through. When I was teaching I used to get horrendous colds, but now that I can actually sleep them off, I don’t seem to get so sick – even when I do catch something. Hope you sleep well tonight!

        • Kathy says:

          Heather, I surely hope your cold has abated… I slept all night Sunday night, but was wide awake (except for 3 hours) Monday night. Last night slept 9 hours. Tonight? Who knows?

  23. Sybil says:

    Kathy, you could make going to the bathroom sound like a magical experience … 😉

    • Kathy says:

      Oh I love you, Sybil. That is my goal in life. To help myself & any readers realize that going the bathroom IS a magical experience. Along with sleeplessness, vulnerability and unexpected gifts. See today’s blog, when it’s up.

  24. sonali says:

    And frankly Kathy, what made you write this blog last night. Tell me. Tell me how did you guess this little girl far far away from you was all awake last night, and yes she ate a vegetable puff leftover in the frig, at 2.00 a.m She suddenly feels like sipping a cup of black tea in the middle of the night. She also feel like walking outside, feeling the dark silent and breezy night and bowing at the Moon up there. Such loveliness! Of course, Tell me, how did you get this thought while someone was experiencing the some oceans across. I’m a little worried 😉 [spy you]

    • Kathy says:

      We are all One, Sonali. One mind, one world! That’s why I wrote this blog. That’s why we both had sleepless nights. I am envious of your vegetable puff. Do you have any left?

  25. Karma says:

    Hi Kathy! Been away from the blogosphere as I get back into the swing of school etc, but I wanted to say hi and to let you know I’m still here reading, though not blogging as often as I’d like. Had a quick visit to mom’s down on the Cape and had an awake-in-the-middle-of-the-night experience too. No A/C at mom’s and a VERY humid night – I think that’s what had me awake. Reminded me of nights as a child (no A/C then either) when it was just too hot to fall asleep.

    • Kathy says:

      Oh, Karma, those too-hot nights are awful! Give me a cool sleepless night any time. Add in sweaty hotness, and it’s just too much. Hope your beginning of the school year is going good. I am getting lots accomplished at work; feels good…

  26. Barb says:

    Your prose poem is just inspired, Kathy. I was right there with you in the deep dark night – I only hope there was enough leftover Chinese for you to share. They are calling for snow in Breckenridge midweek. I’m still in Denver, and it’s 90 here today. How can it snow only 90 miles away? I know it can, and it probably will!

  27. Not last night… but plenty of others. Your leaf (though lovely) put me into shock; when the seasons decide to change they seem to do so so quickly!

    • Kathy says:

      Inger, you needn’t go into extreme shock yet. Most of our woods is still green. The red leaves are just smatterings alerting us that change is in the air.

  28. Friday night? Yup, I was still awake, too. Didn’t go to bed/sleep until about 4:45 am!!!
    Was too upset to sleep, but I’m all better now 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      I am sorry you were upset…if you’d like to email me & share, I will be a good listening ear. But since you’re all better now, you’re probably OK. Sorry that we have these sleepless nights!

  29. Robin says:

    I almost wish I’d turned on the computer last night when I was wide awake, listening to the coyotes howl, the Great Horned Owl hooting, and the neighborhood dogs lending their voices to the night songs. This would have made a nice read in the dark of night when sleep was so elusive. It makes a beautiful read in the bright of day too. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Robin, you make these wide-awake late nights sound poetic. I have surely been enjoying your writing lately! I think your inner poet/artist/writer is coming out stronger all the time. Feel free to write me any time you are awake in the middle of the night and you DARE turn on the gosh darn computer.

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