Earlier this month I had to cancel a dentist appointment. One of those six month cleanings that we all love.
It was snowing sideways and seemed too daunting to drive twelve miles into town.
“Don’t worry,” said the kind receptionist. “It’s been a strange day. Half the people are cancelling their appointments and half are calling wanting appointments. We’ll be able to fill your slot.”
Phew… It’s hard to cancel appointments even when it’s snowing because one is expected to drive valiantly in snow here in the Upper Peninsula. It’s what hardy Yoopers do. We gun up our four-wheel drives and barrel through snowbanks, no matter how deep. (I am not a bona fide Yooper. Have only lived here 34 years. Was not born and bred with that much sisu. *Sisu is what the local Finns call courage.* Would prefer to cancel dental appointments.)
The nice receptionist has been attempting to reschedule. Every time she calls I tell her why I can’t come in. No, no, no, it’s not going to work, sorry, that’s not going to work, either, yes, the little teeth are sorry, but, no, that day is not going to work, either.
It’s a crazy busy week. I have no time to do anything. (Except write blog posts. There’s always time to write blog posts, right? I’ll sacrifice eating breakfast, but not writing blog posts, even when there’s no time. I have to leave for a budgeting meeting in less than an hour and am still in pajamas but the story must be told! Right? Right!)
Where were we?
Ah, yes, the dentist. The lovely kind receptionist finally captured me yesterday and I was scheduled for a cleaning at 2:30 p.m.
Our dental staff is the best dental staff in the Universe. Seriously. I would PAY money to visit them. The hygienist, Lori, loves to laugh. So we laugh. We laugh about everything. Then the dentist comes in and we laugh some more.
This dental staff laughs a lot because their boss–the dentist–takes them to Hawaii for a dental conference every winter. Wouldn’t you like your job, too?
OK, I’ll come clean. I don’t always laugh at the dentist. I have been known to whimper and–almost–cry. Especially when that tooth broke off in the parking lot of the IGA last summer. And the nice dentist had to shoot this poor mouth with six shots of Novocaine but I am rambling now and it’s 45 minutes until the budget meeting!
Where were we?
Oh, yes, in the dental chair laughing with the hygienist, Lori, yesterday afternoon before an insanely busy evening, of which you shall not hear.
Lori asks me what flavor of toothpaste I would desire.
We all know that the Universe demands one to be daring and choose something different. If you choose the same old flavor–say, cinnamon or peppermint–the Universe frowns and shakes its head and wonders what’s wrong with people on the planet because they’re being so darn predictable.
“Do you want orange?” Lori almost begs.
I kind of want to gag, but that’s not good protocol when someone has their gloved hands in your mouth, but I appropriately take a deep breath (thinking how terrible orange might be) and sputter something like, “Oje is OK. But isssn’t it kind of childlike?”
Of course Lori goes off in peels of laughter again, and then so do I, and someone appears at the door to see why we’re laughing and then has to laugh about my husband’s column in the newspaper this past week. (Which was about my detox diet and the latest decision never to eat lake trout again.)
Where were we in this story? Only 40 minutes until the budget meeting! Type faster!
She puts the orange flavored toothpaste on the unsuspecting teeth and…ahhhh…truly, dear readers, you must all be brave and a little child-like and taste the orange toothpaste next time you’re at the dentist.
At that very moment Lori kind of gasps and says, “Look! Look at the deer outside the window!”
And sure enough, two beautiful deer appear outside the dental window, munching seeds at the bird feeder.
“How many people in the city get to see deer while they get their teeth cleaned?” wonders my hygienist.
“Not many, ” I reply and spit the orange toothpaste into the tube leaving the teeth grinning wildly at the orange bliss they’ve just experienced.
(Val from Arty Old Bird later winks on Facebook: I’ve never seen deer get their teeth cleaned…”)
**I am convinced that the Universe provided the beautiful deer sighting because I tried the orange toothpaste. It is always SO happy when people do things outside of their comfort zone. **
Lori says she’s seen a bear outside the window. (I inadvertently typed “beer” because I am typing so smoking fast.) She swears some day she will see a moose. I have no doubt that she will. Especially some day when an elderly lady tries the bubblegum flavor just for kicks.
I want the name of your dentist and all who work for him or her –I will make the 12 hour trip up–my dentist retired and things are just not the same– I would not see a deer or bear outside my dentist`s office — maybe a mustang or a cougar (cars)
His name is Dr. Summersett but, gosh, I’m not sure if he’s accepting new patients. But do give him a call! tee hee. It was so cool to see that deer. Just had to share the story this morning.
Hi there Kathy, As I’ve a dental appointment next week, the 5th March to be precise, your blog caught my attention even more than it usually does. Orange toothpaste is something I must try, it sounds as if it’d make daily brushing a lot easier. (I sometimes gag at the flavour of my sensitive toothpaste). … We haven’t got your blanket of snow here, it all disappeared earlier on in the month, and I know for sure I won’t be seeing any deer from my dentists window. (other than hallucination of course…. 😉 )… Wishing you a great rest of the week. xPenx..
Hi, Pen! I am not sure if it’s possible to buy orange flavored toothpaste from a store. Maybe it’s a dentist-office only kind of thing? Wishing you much luck during your dentist visit. I hope you have a hygienist who likes to laugh. Let me know if any hallucinations occur. 🙂
You are so lucky to go to such a lighthearted dental office. I had a dentist once who was a hoot and I always left there feeling it was more like a visit than an appointment. Have never seen a deer outside the dentist office window though…just cars…always cars and people scurrying about, rushing, rushing, rushing. Makes me yearn for the quiet country life even more. But maybe…seeing beer (lol) during a dentist appointment might make things a lot better! Oops…that was supposed to be “bear”…hahaha Hmm, I wonder what beer toothpaste would taste like and what visions the universe would bestow on us…? 😉
Yes, Brenda, you’ve stated it exactly. It’s more like a visit than an appointment when you have a lighthearted office. I used to have dental nightmares–kind of had a dental nightmare childhood story–but this experience is evening things out. Laughing that you enjoyed the “beer” reference. I was typing SO fast this morning! Never wrote so long a blog in so short a time… Thank you.
I like Brenda’s idea. I vote for Guiness Stout flavored toothpaste! Fun post, Kathy!
I dunno, Patty, you and Brenda can TRY that Guiness Stout flavored toothpaste but I’m sticking with something more traditional! Wait a second. I’m not supposed to say that. I meant to type: bring on the Guiness! And am glad you had fun reading this. I had a blast writing it this morning.
I’m sure you saw the deer, because you had the orange stuff. What other reason could there possibly be. Thanks for the smile. Hope you made the meeting.
Oh good, Bonnie, I am glad you enjoyed this! Sending you a toothpasty grin. And, yes, made the meeting on time except it was 50 degrees in the building (10 C) and I had to give my hat to a colleague with wet hair and our fingers shook as we used the calculators. We worked fast to get out of that building quickly! Now am finally home and relaxing.
I am reading too fast! I read “She swears someday she will see a mouse,” and I thought, hey, I’m ahead of you on that one. Then had to backtrack. Let’s make orange the flavor of the month. We got 8 pounds of beautiful, sweet, fresh oranges at our local grocery store for only $2.99, and we can’t eat them fast enough. Our bodies are craving orange(s)!
Gosh, Pamela, I worried that maybe I was writing too fast and everybody would get kinda nervous and leave the blog before the punch line about the elderly woman and the bubblegum flavored toothpaste. But let’s forget about that because oranges are SO good at this time of year, especially for us sun-starved Michiganders.
Did you know we have a lemon and an orange tree in our very backyard here in Arizona, Kathy? It’s true! I have been using fresh lemon in EVERYTHING, but for some crazy reason, my body is wholly sensitive to oranges and thus steers clear of them. If they had a lemon-flavoured toothpaste, I would most definitely have to try it.
Dana, you are making all of us northerners wildly envious by saying things like that in the comments, lol. Will you please share some of your oranges and lemons? Pretty please? I’ll share some sauerkraut with you.
Oh my gosh, Kathy, over at my spot I just asked readers for an example of the last time they thought/lived outside the box (comfort zone) and bingo – here we go! That’s serendipitous – The Universe Laughing 😀
Heading over to your spot asap, Laurie. I actually grinned when I saw your first few sentences of your blog and thought the same thing–the Universe was chuckling. Having you write the question and me the answer before we conferred in physical reality!
O.k. Kathy – orange it is, and I plan to tell my hygenist I expect to see wildlife outside the window!
I sure hope your hygienist complies, dorannrule. If she (he?) doesn’t…then you’ll just have to move further out in the Sticks!
Well orange toothpaste ALMOST sounds good enough to make me visit my dentist again. However, I’m “clean” til fall now, 🙂 so I will restrain myself.
As soon as you move up north, SuZen, you, too, may see deer cleaning their teeth on sunflower seeds outside your dentist’s office. Too bad you have to wait until fall! 😉
Oh the shame of it: I have not been to a dentist since I lived in Georgia! Probably any toothpaste flavor is less childish than my avoidance.
Oh, Heather, yes, the avoidance stories we could all tell. How we should go to the doctor or the dentist or *heaven help us* go get our mammograms or paps. OK, I’ll stop typing now feeling what I’m avoiding…
I’d definitely try bubble gum flavor. This is so weird (weird – heh), I just got back from having my teeth cleaned now! I picked up my laptop to read blogs and this was awaiting me. I tried more than a new toothpaste, I tried a new dentist! I won’t bore you with the details about why I switched (having to do with ending up in the hospital after work done at my last dentist of 10 years). Maybe some day I shall blog about that experience. What do you think? Would it be too boring? Is it just a coincidence that I just got back from the very same thing you blogged about? Pretty cool.
This is the coolest, Lori! I love that just happened to you. The Universe is truly winking at you and very glad that you tried more than a new toothpaste. I don’t think people realize how much the Universe wants us to try new things. Don’t like the sound of your hospitalization after dentist. Errr. No. Not too boring for you to blog about. Obviously you must! Check in with the Universe and see. 🙂
You know, I was thinking just last week about changing to your dentist. A moose would do it for sure. I wonder what portion of your bill goes to pay for that Hawaiian “conference”.
You should consider it, John. I never thought about being charged for the Hawaiian conference, though. Yikes! However, it doesn’t cost a penny more than any of the other local dentists, so I guess we’re not worried.
I don’t think I’ve ever been offered a choice of flavored toothpaste. And I’m always grateful for those lovely hygenists with small hands and a gentle touch!
Me, too, Colleen. A dentist and a hygenist must have gentle touch. They must. I would search the End of the Earth for dentists with a gentle touch!
So if I dare the orange toothpaste I’ll see a deer? maybe.
Lisa, no, I’m not promising you a deer when you dare the orange toothpaste. I’m promising you something more special–something uniquely for you–after the fact. Will you come back and tell me what the Universe gave you?
I get my teeth cleaned next week. I will see if they have orange toothpaste. But I doubt even that will produce deer outside the window in Flint. I can try though!
Hey, let me know, Dawn! I am trying to imagine what you might see out the window in Flint… Well, maybe your reward will come later in the day, perhaps on your drive home. Let me know what it is!
I’ve never seen someone write so happily about their dentist!
Katie, do you think I overdid it? LOL. I have been known to overdo it about subjects like these. (Maybe it’s because I had a traumatic relationship with dentists in childhood that the Universe is now being kind…)
Love the story, thank you for delighting us, even in such a hurry, and also for the wonderful (and apt) picture that accompanies the line, ‘And what flavor of toothpaste would you like, my dear?’ 😀
p.s I hate dental visits, but I guess spotting fauns (fawns?) outside the window would surely be sufficiently distracting! Dying to taste orange toothpaste now……..
Munira, I was actually quite saddened that very few (sniff!) readers seemed to like this orange toothpaste story. People didn’t even bother to (sniff!) stop & read this. I think that if they would have read they would have enjoyed. I am glad you were delighted. Good luck with finding a dentist that will tempt you with the orange toothpaste!
Personally, I found this dental.post to be a lot.of.fun. I don’t enjoy going, but as long as I have too, I well as try something new. I.e. orange toothpaste. Sadly I.think my choice is mint or mint. My kids, ages 35 &33 still enjoy their bubblegum toothpaste. Guess I’ll keep up with the sensitive toothpaste. Who knows, maybe they’ll start making it in orange.
Gosh, Chris, I’m glad you enjoyed this! (Don’t tell, but my favorite is really mint, too. I love mint toothpaste. As much as anyone can *love* toothpaste…) Good luck with trying something new. Let me know if you try the bubblegum!
How cool to see deer outside your dentist’s office!
As for the orange toothpaste, if it’s anything like the orange fluoride treatment, I’ll pass! Last time I tried it, I got such pains in my jaw I couldn’t stand it! Something about the acidity causes my saliva glands to work overtime and creates stabbing pains where my jaw meets my skull. It truly is excruciating. Oddly enough, the peppermint is fine. So, boring as it may seem to you, I’ll stick with that! 🙂
Withershins, it was so cool to see that deer. But are you suggesting that not all orange fluoride treatments are the same? Oh no! How could innocent orange cause pain in the jaw? Stabbing pain? Shame on it! I now want to return to my standard peppermint. ASAP. Just because the orange was so mean to you. 😦
I appreciate your sympathy, Kathy, but you don’t have to reject your delightful orange on my account. 🙂