Why to try the orange toothpaste on your next dental visit.

Earlier this month I had to cancel a dentist appointment.  One of those six month cleanings that we all love.

It was snowing sideways and seemed too daunting to drive twelve miles into town.

“Don’t worry,” said the kind receptionist.  “It’s been a strange day.  Half the people are cancelling their appointments and half are calling wanting appointments.  We’ll be able to fill your slot.”

Phew…  It’s hard to cancel appointments even when it’s snowing because one is expected to drive valiantly in snow here in the Upper Peninsula.  It’s what hardy Yoopers do.  We gun up our four-wheel drives and barrel through snowbanks, no matter how deep.  (I am not a bona fide Yooper.  Have only lived here 34 years.  Was not born and bred with that much sisu. *Sisu is what the local Finns call courage.*  Would prefer to cancel dental appointments.)

It’s always snowy. Some days are just snowier than others.

The nice receptionist has been attempting to reschedule.  Every time she calls I tell her why I can’t come in.  No, no, no, it’s not going to work, sorry, that’s not going to work, either, yes, the little teeth are sorry, but, no, that day is  not going to work, either.

It’s a crazy busy week.  I have no time to do anything.  (Except write blog posts.  There’s always time to write blog posts, right?  I’ll sacrifice eating breakfast, but not writing blog posts, even when there’s no time.  I have to leave for a budgeting meeting in less than an hour and am still in pajamas but the story must be told!  Right?  Right!)

Where were we?

Ah, yes, the dentist.  The lovely kind receptionist finally captured me yesterday and I was scheduled for a cleaning at 2:30 p.m.

Our dental staff is the best dental staff in the Universe.  Seriously.  I would PAY money to visit them.  The hygienist, Lori, loves to laugh.  So we laugh.  We laugh about everything.  Then the dentist comes in and we laugh some more.

This dental staff laughs a lot because their boss–the dentist–takes them to Hawaii for a dental conference every winter.  Wouldn’t you like your job, too?

OK, I’ll come clean.  I don’t always laugh at the dentist.  I have been known to whimper and–almost–cry.  Especially when that tooth broke off in the parking lot of the IGA last summer.  And the nice dentist had to shoot this poor mouth with six shots of Novocaine  but I am rambling now and it’s 45 minutes until the budget meeting!

Where were we?

Oh, yes, in the dental chair laughing with the hygienist, Lori, yesterday afternoon before an insanely busy evening, of which you shall not hear.

And what flavor of toothpaste would you like, my dear?

Lori asks me what flavor of toothpaste I would desire.

We all know that the Universe demands one to be daring and choose something different.  If you choose the same old flavor–say, cinnamon or peppermint–the Universe frowns and shakes its head and wonders what’s wrong with people on the planet because they’re being so darn predictable.

“Do you want orange?” Lori almost begs.

I kind of want to gag, but that’s not good protocol when someone has their gloved hands in your mouth, but I appropriately take a deep breath (thinking how terrible orange might be) and sputter something like, “Oje is OK.  But isssn’t it kind of childlike?”

Of course Lori goes off in peels of laughter again, and then so do I, and someone appears at the door to see why we’re laughing and then has to laugh about my husband’s column in the newspaper this past week.  (Which was about my detox diet and the latest decision never to eat lake trout again.)

Where were we in this story?  Only 40 minutes until the budget meeting!  Type faster!

She puts the orange flavored toothpaste on the unsuspecting teeth and…ahhhh…truly, dear readers, you must all be brave and a little child-like and taste the orange toothpaste next time you’re at the dentist.

At that very moment Lori kind of gasps and says, “Look!  Look at the deer outside the window!”

And sure enough, two beautiful deer appear outside the dental window, munching seeds at the bird feeder.

The deer looked like this. Only imagine snow on the ground.

“How many people in the city get to see deer while they get their teeth cleaned?” wonders my hygienist.

“Not many, ” I reply and spit the orange toothpaste into the tube leaving the teeth grinning wildly at the orange bliss they’ve just experienced.

(Val from Arty Old Bird later winks on Facebook:  I’ve never seen deer get their teeth cleaned…”)

**I am convinced that the Universe provided the beautiful deer sighting because I tried the orange toothpaste.  It is always SO happy when people do things outside of their comfort zone. **

Lori says she’s seen a bear outside the window.  (I inadvertently typed “beer” because I am typing so smoking fast.)  She swears some day she will see a moose.  I have no doubt that she will.  Especially some day when an elderly lady tries the bubblegum flavor just for kicks.