This morning I woke up and the inner voice was already involved in a complicated debate. Should I have coffee or not? Go to work before the funeral or not? Do yoga or skip it?
As if that wasn’t enough, the inner voice started critiquing yesterday’s actions. Should I have written a funny blog about dentists during this sad time of Barry’s co-worker’s death? Should I be writing so many blogs again? Shouldn’t I be calm & cool & collected and write blogs only once or twice a week like mature people? Should I have said such-and-such at the budget meeting? Should I have…well, you know the spiel. The inner voice is such a harp at times, isn’t it?
Then I decided to turn on Facebook. The inner voice questioned that, too.
“Do you really want to start your day with Facebook?”
I told the inner voice to shut up, poured a cup of coffee and opened Facebook.
My latest favorite spiritual teacher, Jeff Foster, had just posted this:
Forget trying to get it “right” all of the time.
Here’s to doing your best, falling flat on your face, getting up again, falling down again, fucking up totally, failing beyond belief, being laughed at, ridiculed, mocked, even crucified, and losing what you thought was yours. And here’s to embracing the mess of it all, dying to the dream and waking to the reality of it, loving the perfect imperfection of it, opening your heart wide to all of it, continuing to live your truth despite everything, fearlessly meeting each sacred moment…
You cannot get it “right”, and that’s why you cannot get it “wrong”, and out beyond both, there is a field…
You know how you read something and your heart melts and you know, just know, that you’re meant to read it. The Universe wants you to understand. It’s OK to be imperfect. We don’t have to get it “right”. We can embrace the mess of it, the crazy perfect imperfection of our actions. We can just…sniff…do the best we can, day in and day out, even though we don’t know if we should drink coffee or tea, or check our email again, or–gasp–start our day with Facebook.
I thought, “OH! I must write a blog and share this. It is so cool!”
The inner voice replied, “No, you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t always want to share with people. You should respond to comments, read other people’s blogs, publish your post about wild animals in caught on a wildlife camera, be silent…”
This time I just smiled.
“I am not afraid to screw up,” I firmly told the inner voice. “If this is wrong, then I am just going to enjoy the messiness of being wrong.”
The inner voice had nothing else to say. How can an inner harp respond to this?
We can say the wrong things and just smile, and perhaps we’ll say the right thing in the next moment. We’ll just write our blogs as we do, right or wrong, good or bad, just because we’re offering our imperfect selves to the world. We’ll laugh and cry at appropriate or inappropriate times, just because life is like that, isn’t it?
Here is the “field” that Jeff refers to. (As some of you know, it’s a poem by–romantic sigh–a spiritual teacher/poet called Rumi who probably got it right sometimes and didn’t get it right other times and lived in this glorious mess of life with a viewpoint that included it All.)
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”
What about you? Do you have a part of self that wants to get it right? That suffers with not knowing what to do? That is afraid to mess up at times? Have you learned to open your heart to All of it, whether you fall flat on your face or not?
Let’s meet in this field of life and not be afraid that we can’t seem to get it 100% perfect and right 100% of the time…