Let’s mess up a little today, shall we?

Oh oh.  I shouldn't have done That.

Oh oh. I shouldn’t have done That.

This morning I woke up and the inner voice was already involved in a complicated debate.  Should I have coffee or not?  Go to work before the funeral or not?  Do yoga or skip it?

As if that wasn’t enough, the inner voice started critiquing yesterday’s actions.  Should I have written a funny blog about dentists during this sad time of Barry’s co-worker’s death? Should I be writing so many blogs again?  Shouldn’t I be calm & cool & collected and write blogs only once or twice a week like mature people?  Should I have said such-and-such at the budget meeting?  Should I have…well, you know the spiel.  The inner voice is such a harp at times, isn’t it?

Then I decided to turn on Facebook.  The inner voice questioned that, too.

“Do you really want to start your day with Facebook?”

I told the inner voice to shut up, poured a cup of coffee and opened Facebook.

Mosaic of life

Mosaic of life

My latest favorite spiritual teacher, Jeff Foster, had just posted this:

Forget “perfection”. 

Forget trying to get it “right” all of the time. 

Here’s to doing your best, falling flat on your face, getting up again, falling down again, fucking up totally, failing beyond belief, being laughed at, ridiculed, mocked, even crucified, and losing what you thought was yours. And here’s to embracing the mess of it all, dying to the dream and waking to the reality of it, loving the perfect imperfection of it, opening your heart wide to all of it, continuing to live your truth despite everything, fearlessly meeting each sacred moment…

You cannot get it “right”, and that’s why you cannot get it “wrong”, and out beyond both, there is a field…

The field.

The field.

You know how you read something and your heart melts and you know, just know, that you’re meant to read it.  The Universe wants you to understand.  It’s OK to be imperfect.  We don’t have to get it “right”.  We can embrace the mess of it, the crazy perfect imperfection of our actions.  We can just…sniff…do the best we can, day in and day out, even though we don’t know if we should drink coffee or tea, or check our email again, or–gasp–start our day with Facebook.

I thought, “OH!  I must write a blog and share this.  It is so cool!”

The inner voice replied, “No, you shouldn’t.  You shouldn’t always want to share with people.  You should respond to comments, read other people’s blogs, publish your post about wild animals in caught on a wildlife camera, be silent…”

This time I just smiled.

Traveling down the Road of Life without too many regrets...

Traveling down the Road of Life without too many regrets…

“I am not afraid to screw up,” I firmly told the inner voice.  “If this is wrong, then I am just going to enjoy the messiness of being wrong.”

The inner voice had nothing else to say.  How can an inner harp respond to this?

We can say the wrong things and just smile, and perhaps we’ll say the right thing in the next moment.  We’ll just write our blogs as we do, right or wrong, good or bad, just because we’re offering our imperfect selves to the world.  We’ll laugh and cry at appropriate or inappropriate times, just because life is like that, isn’t it?

Here is the “field” that Jeff refers to.  (As some of you know, it’s a poem by–romantic sigh–a spiritual teacher/poet called Rumi who probably got it right sometimes and didn’t get it right other times and lived in this glorious mess of life with a viewpoint that included it All.)

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing 

and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”

What about you?  Do you have a part of self that wants to get it right?  That suffers with not knowing what to do?  That is afraid to mess up at times?  Have you learned to open your heart to All of it, whether you fall flat on your face or not?

Let’s meet in this field of life and not be afraid that we can’t seem to get it 100% perfect and right 100% of the time…

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
This entry was posted in February 2013 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

87 Responses to Let’s mess up a little today, shall we?

  1. How do you do it? How do you always know what I need to read/hear the most? How do you manage to write the words or include the quote that turns me into a blubbering mess as my heart recognizes its truth? I struggle so much with feeling like I’m a walking disaster area, doing everything wrong. But, maybe that’s because there is no right, there’s just trying and doing and learning and fumbling from one moment to the next, without giving up. Thank you for reminding me that,I don’t need to be perfect or right, I just need to try.and do.

    • Kathy says:

      Lisa, your comment caused me to cry a little yesterday because it felt so true about our struggles and *walking disaster areas* and how we sometimes fumble without knowing what to do. Don’t you wonder how it would be if we could just let each moment be its imperfect self? And not be so hard on ourselves at times? I want that for me and you and all of us. Amen.

  2. OM says:

    I happen to be up at 5 AM because I just had to write up and email to my collaborators in a project, some inspirations which were over-filling my mind in the middle of the night here.
    And then I saw your blog notice, and here I am, saying (note tongue in cheek while uttering, yet in a way, completely serious)
    DEAR Kathy, are you kidding? For an Enneagram One like me, all this isn’t just a casual matter of shifting into accepting messiness, as if that alternative had never occurred to us before and we just needed to hear it.

    What is at stake for us is ETERNAL SUFFERING, if we don’t “get it right,” though of course “it” is never enough, and never defined.

    Ones don’t need “reminders” that we don’t need to be perfect. We need, well, basically, the only way out is by Awakening. That is the only thing which will convince us that our seemingly never-ending suffering is not due to having done “it” wrong and having failed to get that “something” right, in the past and in the present.

    THEN right and wrong, should and shouldn’t become a non-issue. It’s not a matter of accepting being wrong as just part of the messiness of living. It’s a matter of the issue dissolving, because the “what’s at stake” — eternal suffering — is seen to be irrelevant to right-wrong.

    IOW as a One, I could accept that being wrong sometimes is part of living, and I could accept that I don’t NEED to be right — and that would not remove the “what’s at stake for me” terror about it, which is an illusion on the soul level, not the psychological level, of my Being.

    Clearly THIS blog hit one of my buttons, so forgive the rant. I hope it’s the least bit clear, I am probably leaving out some of the dots, in the interest of length here.

    I love you! It’s always right to say that, haha, and as you suggested recently, a good idea, to tell people that when it’s true!

    • Kathy says:

      I totally get this, OM, and that’s why I may be back to ignoring all the words written here and attempting to avoid eternal suffering by getting enlightened. LOL! Gosh darn, it’s a big mess, ain’t it? Love you, too…

  3. Javabaybob says:

    Inspired to really foul things up today!!
    Thanks :))

    The picture of the towline hill in the fall gives me that feeling of regretting procrastination. Moments in autumn seem to do that to me. Its as if the threat of winter makes one ponder things that haven’t been done or accomplished.

    • Kathy says:

      Bob, I sure hope you didn’t foul up anyone’s lunch yesterday! 🙂 As for regretting procrastination, you’ve got me thinking now. Wondering the reasons why we procrastinate. Maybe we procrastinate for a good reason, because we 100% don’t believe we should act? Just pondering in a messy way. Thanks Java Buddy for stopping by and adding your two cents. I’ll give you two cents when I see you.

  4. OMG did you get any snow!!! ???

    • Kathy says:

      Jasmine, you are wondering if we’re having to clean up a REAL mess? ha ha. No, my dear, we did not get any snow. All you southerners got it instead. How much did you get? Are you still cleaning up your mess?

  5. OM says:

    Oh this is TOOO funny: I go back to my inbox after posting my comment, and there’s the following “inspirational message” from someone who sends those to her list now and then. It is ALSO relevant to the suggestions I just emailed to my collaborators, so it’s a double synchronicity, and has me ROTFL:

    “Wednesday Inspiration: You are on the right track.”

    • Kathy says:

      Thank GOODNESS the Universe is so prompt with affirmation, OM! Follow your knowing…and the Universe will nod wisely. (If you can figure out what you’re knowing is, that is. My “problem” in the last four years is that so many of the beliefs have been busted and it feels like more more messy/shaky territory than it did Before.

  6. OM says:

    Guess I’ll share the whole thing, so YOU Kathy will see that you are quite “in the flow” and this blog topic at just this time, was the “right” thing for you to write about, haha!!!!

    You are on the right track!

    Sometimes we doubt ourselves and the decisions we have made. Should I have done this instead of that? Should I have taken the course my friend is taking instead of the one I chose? Did I marry the right person? Did I have children at the right time? On and on goes the merry-go-round of doubt. Let me put your mind at rest.

    Wherever you are is the right place for you now. How do I know? Because this is where you are. Does it mean this is the right decision or place for you forever? Or even by this afternoon or tomorrow? No.

    Even when we think we have made a wrong choice, we haven’t. We are always exactly where we need to be. Sometimes we are allowed to make what seems to be a poor choice so we will be better educated the next time we get to chose. Other times, we’re working out some issues within ourselves or with our interpersonal relationships. Just because we’re in our right place doesn’t mean we can’t move to one we like better!

    If you find yourself in a situation where you doubt your choice, ask: why am I here? What do I need to learn or experience? Look around for the meaning. Then dig in fully to the situation so you can be ready for your next adventure. You are always on the right track. Know that with confidence.

    Krysta Gibson
    New Spirit Journal
    krysta@newspiritjournal.com
    http://www.krystagibson.com
    http://www.newspiritjournal.com

    • Kathy says:

      You know how messy it got yesterday, OM? I DELETED this extra comment of yours. Thought it was spam or something. How wrong I was! Fortunately the Universe prompted another read from the “trash” and look at what wisdom one can find in even the trash! Thank you for adding this. Perfect.

  7. Okay – in all of life’s mess, this was a perfect post that I read at a perfect time written by one of my perfect blog friends. Thank you for making the choice to share this–oh, how I needed to read what you wrote this morning. Life is a series of messes and if I would just give in to that I would be so much happier, so much more adventurous, so much less afraid–I will try to embrace this–and as I have before and I am sure I will do again–I will use this on my own blog as it is so perfect–but give you the kudos for discovering it and writing about it so eloquently.

    • Kathy says:

      LouAnn, I am so glad that the Universe inspired both of us almost simultaneously. Your blog post is wonderful. A little mess developed here yesterday (of course it did after writing this post. Any messes develop your way?) and I had to recall this words. May we return again and again and again to acceptance of everything, even the messes, amen, amen and amen again.

  8. Brenda Hardie says:

    I need coffee this morning…my brain isn’t working yet. The universe hasn’t given me anything to say. Can’t seem to put any sensible words together in my head this morning. Guess I’m starting my day messed up. lol
    Sending you and Barry hugs and prayers today. I remembered about the funeral.

    • Kathy says:

      Brenda, I feel like we talked six times yesterday! So I guess words started forming in your head some time. lol. Thanks for remembering us on our community’s sad day. I actually sat in the church and pondered every perfect/imperfect self sitting in the pews and how we all really are the Body of Christ, broken for us. (If that makes sense. It made perfect sense in my mind at that moment.)

  9. bonnie says:

    Embracing the mess…..perhaps that is what I need to do…..perhaps visit that field, if I can decide if it’s the right thing to do.

    • Kathy says:

      Bonnie, I really laughed reading your comment. (I mean out loud laughing!) Perhaps you’ll visit the field if you can decide it’s the right thing to do. So funny! I know JUST what you mean!

  10. lisaspiral says:

    Ooooo I was hoping you would blog about this quote when I saw you posted it on Facebook. That darn inner voice gets so unruly. Where is the “inner voice whisperer” to teach me how to tame it down!

    • Kathy says:

      You were HOPING? Oh good, Lisa. I love that you were hoping! As for the unruliness of that inner voice, shame on it sometimes! I was just reading how one of the biggest helps is to just feel space around it. Just allow it to babble on but to feel the words in perspective. That helps sometimes. Other times, not as much.

  11. susan says:

    Hi Kathy,
    Oh your blog is perfect – as are Rumi’s words – just what I needed to hear! Second guessing (the result of the inner voice I call monkey mind) drives me nuts!!! Life IS messy and I blogged recently myself that I leave perfection up to the Divine. My life wasn’t meant to chase after perfection! I’m here to LIVE life, and survive messes, learn from them, grow, and keep walking!!!!
    Hugs
    SuZen

    • Kathy says:

      SuZen, don’t you hate those second-guessing kind of days? Gosh, thank goodness the Divine is the one that gets to be perfect, not us. Love your philosophy. Way to tell that Monkey Mind!

  12. dorannrule says:

    You are an amazing writer! I wind up reading every single word and then pondering everything you say for half a day. This post hit home since like yours, my inner voice is continually harping, “should you, should you have, you shouldn’t have…” I will try to embrace more messiness today. Thank you! 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Dorannrule, I love that you said this, that this hit home so vividly. I think we’re all in this Boat called Life together and that there’s a tiger roaring nearby and we somehow have to learn to live with it. If we don’t help each other how will we get by? Joining you in embracing the messiness and avoiding being eaten by that tiger. (This comment was brought to you by the Life of Pi. tee hee. Have you seen the movie or read the book yet?)

  13. Kat B. says:

    LouAnn is right — this is the perfect post 🙂 — thank you for not being that mature person who only posts once or twice a week (how dull life would be if we all decided to be mature all the time!) ~ Kat

    • Kathy says:

      Gosh, Kat, do you have an inner voice that tells you how often you should post? Do you listen to it? I do sometimes and not sometimes. Sometimes I think that inner voice is “mature” and other times it’s just a pain in the a**. And thank you for your kind words!

  14. shoes says:

    Way to set your inner voice straight by telling it you will simply enjoy the messes of being wrong! Great inspirational on perfection. We need to do more jumping, trusting, and accepting with a little less self-doubt and aiming for perfection.

    • Kathy says:

      Shoes, you are very wise! We gotta talk back to our inner voices when they’re so perfectionist, don’t we? (Of course then they talk back to us…and it can get quite noisy in our heads, can’t it?) Thank you for visiting!

  15. debyemm says:

    We think we don’t get it right but I don’t believe it is possible to get it wrong. It is only our perception. I have a book that I bought to help me cope with the messiness of life called A Perfect Mess. The authors believe there are hidden benefits behind any discord. I believe that too. We can be too hard on ourselves. After all, we’ve been on the receiving end of failing to live up to someone else’s expectations, we feel judged, we’ve been criticized – fairly or unfairly. Coming to the perspective that everything is always as it actually should be, takes some time for hindsight and reflection. How could it be any other way ? It can only be what it is; and I believe what IT is, is always what it should be.

    • Kathy says:

      You and Rumi have the inside scoop, Deb. I, too, believe there are hidden benefits with any discord. The trouble is our logical human minds don’t always see it that way. To feel the harmony of a larger picture where everything is as it should be can be such a relief. Always wanting to more deeply LIVE that truth! Except, perhaps, in the messiness we already are…and the wanting is just another part of that imperfect perfection. Thank you!

  16. Dana says:

    Perfect timing (again) with this post, Kathy. (Pun intended.) I struggle A LOT with aiming for perfection, but in the past few days, I’ve been toying with that simple but profound idea of ‘letting go’ of that need. I actually believe my divine purpose on earth might have something to do with being the Anti-Perfectionist. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Dana, I love your divine purpose! It is awesome. No wonder the Universe manifested you. (When you figure out how to let go of your need, please, please, please pass it on! I’ve been working on this for more years than you can count on your fingers and toes.) P.S. Had a REAL divine purple mess yesterday evening! Put too much water in the sauerkraut and, well, you know what happened. Had to open jars and release. I am a little frightened of the fermenting smell.

  17. Margarita says:

    Your inner voice sounds a lot like my chattering mind. My small still voice is the one I listen to! Thank you! xoxoM

    • Kathy says:

      Oh, good, Margarita, it sounds like you are a good discriminator of inner voices. That small still voice is utterly precious. So glad that you have learned to discriminate. (Do you have a blog that teaches us all how to do this, too? I shall come visiting!)

      • Margarita says:

        Do come visit, Kathy. I’m not sure that my blog teaches anything, since we all already know everything. I like to think that it helps us all (myself especially) remember that! xoxoM

  18. Kerry Dwyer says:

    Well put as always Kathy. We can only do our best. Who could ask for more?

  19. Lovely post to ponder. You write amazing stuff.
    I believe that what is right for me may not be right for you and what is wrong may be right for you but wrong for me leading to the conclusion that there is only what is right or wrong for each person.
    My inner voice is mostly my sister reminding me how I got it wrong and how I could have done something different 🙂
    If only I could be as wise as Rumi!

    • Kathy says:

      Linda, I TOTALLY believe you! Yes. That is an important thing we humans must learn. What’s right for each of us can be an entirely different thing, depending on where we are in our life cycle and understanding. Wondering how we can convince that inner voice that we actually haven’t got it wrong. That we’re just uniquely being ourselves. (Did I ever tell you that I have a secret desire to be Rumi when I grow up? You too?)

  20. To answer the question, I always tried to be perfect. It got really boring.

  21. Lori D says:

    I love Linda’s answer. For me, I usually worry too much about if I said the wrong thing or not. This all boils down to the basic idea, that perhaps we think too much. And I happened to put up a blog post about that very thing just a few minutes ago. Now, as Linda might say, don’t have a boring day.

    • Kathy says:

      Yep, Lori, perhaps you’ve nailed it. When think too much. (Yet, gosh, just try to STOP thinking, lol!) Will seek out your blog post asap. And it wasn’t a boring day yesterday. It was appropriately messy, even with purple sauerkraut blowing up. Just another messy day…

  22. Kathy – Your favorite spiritual teacher, Jeff Foster, sounds like an incredibly wise man. I’m going to find him on Facebook and have a look-see. And while I’m at it, I’m going to continue to be my very merry, incredibly imperfect self 😀

    • Kathy says:

      Laurie, Jeff Foster has “nailed it” so many times that it’s uncanny. Hope you enjoy another day of being your merry, incredibly imperfect self! I will, too. After the inner voice quits wondering if she should have posted the Facebook status about collecting taxes. Sheeezzzzshhh!

  23. Heather says:

    Again, I’m reminded that if we were all perfect life would be boring. Think of how much less we would have to learn, and to grow.
    I try to be as good as I can, but recognize that I’m not perfect. I think it’s an important lesson, too, that even though you might be trying your hardest, someone out there is still probably better than you – and that’s okay! I mildly hurt my nephew’s feelings the other day skiing, because he was pointing out all the people he thought he was ramping higher than. I politely informed him that he was not jumping *that* high, and that most of the folks he was watching were better skiers. I wasn’t rubbing it in, but I didn’t like that he was denigrating someone else while overstating his own grandeur. (Yes, I’m being quite harsh on my beloved 11-year old nephew – will take my harshness under advisement!)
    I find it’s much more important to be able to recognize our delinquencies – whatever they are- so that we can choose which we think are important to improve. And the rest? Well, who cares about perfection anyway? 😉
    (Speaking of perfection – your shot of the deer in the field is perfect!)

    • Kathy says:

      Ms. Heather, thank you, for the reminder that a perfect life would be boring. (But would it really…? *grin*) Thanks also for sharing the story of your nephew. It’s hard to know how to handle that denigration/overstating grandeur challenge. I remember responding similarly with the kids, and then trying other responses, too, which sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t. When I catch myself doing that (I know you find that hard to believe, lol) it’s usually because I’m feeling really needy and insecure.

  24. john says:

    Hugs and prayers to you, Barry, Cathy’s family and friends. I have a very active part of me that wants to get it right. I have a very long memory that frets about decisions and actions from as far back as I can remember. I am developing a part of me that is being nurtured by God that is helping me understand the universal imperfection of humanity. I realize that if I could go back and change things, make them right, my microscope would then focus on actions so much smaller and worry about them.

    • Kathy says:

      Hi, John. Yes, I think many of us have that fretting challenge. It’s hard to “let go and let God” as they say. Hey, is the doc doing a knee scope or other surgery this week? Hugs and prayers to YOU! Let us know how you’re doing after. We’re experts on Knees.

  25. Karma says:

    There are things I’m hoping I’m getting right – the raising of my daughters to be decent, compassionate, intelligent human beings is the most important of those things. Other things I’m trying to be less concerned about being right or perfect. Doing what’s “right for me” in most circumstances, as long as it brings no harm to others, is turning out to be good enough. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Karma, that is a noble desire indeed. To raise decent, compassionate, intelligent human beings. I am sure you are succeeding! And to be satisfied with “good enough” is a gift indeed. Thank you.

  26. sybil says:

    as soon as you said, “There is a field” … my mind started singing … “Out beyond, ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there”. I love that song … BUT I didn’t know the next two lines.

    I’m sorry, what was the question ?

    • Kathy says:

      Sybil, I didn’t know the next two lines, either! I don’t like them as well as the first two. Tee hee. Don’t tell. WAS there a question? lol.

  27. Elisa says:

    OOops! I DID like, however I’m only on the first sip of tea and bleary eyed. I meant to click to comment. The head is singing LET ME SEE YOU STRIPPED. and thinking yup, what a better time, right after a death to speak of orange toothpaste. Life just doesn’t make a pause after death. There is not a ‘thing’ that falls that removes humor and joy and experience and the next right thing to do. I noticed myself wondering at that instant snuffing and the mind–i’ll call it mind before tea, just wants to sort of freeze frame it and think it and process it, but that doesn’t really happen.

    I think that perfect imperfection is the wonderful part of that I, that I insist that for now, for me, is THE MOST WONDERFUL excellent thing to grow and to cherish because it is the gift! Way back in the head someone grumbled yeah well unless you have a faker who goes thru the motions of life and believes that is who they are. That part gets to F off and drink some dammed tea you cranky $&^$#@%. I wonder if some of our inner conversations are what is important? At any rate I love hearing them,

    And, now, a thought on the quote. I liked it, until it got to the bottom.
    You cannot get it “right”, and that’s why you cannot get it “wrong”,
    That part has me squinching down inside. It is sooo gross how people seem soooo unwilling to accept accountability and to be able to be wrong. I highly dislike excuses used to diminish the right in order to avoid wrong. For me, there is a vast difference between knowing when I am wrong, and weebling feebly inside afraid of doing something on the outside that might not be the desired response of others.

    We have conversed about perfection and imperfection and being enough many times. So, that’s how I will choose to use the quote, it seems to match better then the intent of your post. Off for the tea then and probably back to bed and the pail.
    ** I had to paste this in at night, the internet went down while I was using the submit comment!

    • Kathy says:

      Howdy this summer March afternoon, Elisa, before we head out to yet another high school basketball tournament that Barry has to cover for the newspaper. You know, a lot of spiritual folks say stuff like that right/wrong stuff. I have no idea if it’s true or not. Part of me says yes, part of me says no.

      Here’s what I’ve decided works for me right now. (May be different right now.) In our human bodies making decision, in the consciousness of our personalities, we definitely need to take responsibility. From that level, that’s where it’s At and anything else can be horse puckey. However, from the level of Oneness, it does appear–to the *me* that’s viewing–that there is something beyond right & wrong and it’s whole and perfect in its imperfection.

      When viewing from that level there doesn’t appear to be a contradiction in these two statements. However, I am not viewing from that level right now so I agree perfectly with you. *grin*

  28. Dawn says:

    Sending comforting thoughts to Barry and you and the family and friends of Cathy. Perfectionism is over rated. Just saying.

    • Kathy says:

      Thank you, Dawn. It was rough earlier in the week with the visitation and funeral. Today the sun is shining and that’s perfect enough for me…

  29. Dawn says:

    Perfectionism also keeps a person from finding out what they might enjoy and/or be good at outside of perfect…it keeps inventions from being invented, discoveries from being discovered, unexpected joy from happening. Definitely not worth pursuing.

  30. Okay, first of all: YES you absolutely SHOULD be blogging as much as you can possibly get away with, because when you do… Stuff like this comes out – and this kind of resonance between hearts and minds… isn’t that what it’s all about? Kathy’s Inner Harp, you are totally veto’ed on this. So there!

    Secondly, maybe the inner harp is less about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, and more about the empowerment of making an active choice? The point isn’t whether you ‘get it right’ but rather that whatever you do… it is yours. Going along with someone, even if it is ‘just’ the Inner Harp, is less a choice and more just a convenience. It’s easier to get ‘guilted’ into following conventions and expectations under the pretext of “knowing better” and “being responsible, than it is to make a choice entirely based on one’s own conviction. Fear usually is a product of incongruity with oneself. So really, it does’t matter so much whether we end up making the choice our inner voice wants us to make. It simply matters that it is ours when we do.

    THAT – for me at least – is the true path to the field beyond.

    I’ll meet you there!

    • Kathy says:

      THERE, Archeress, you told that inner harp! She’s stunned into silence at your words! As for your thoughts about choice, that is a really cool way of looking at it. I have never viewed it exactly like that before, but will ponder this some more. Thank you for pointing the path to that field. Now–race you!

  31. me2013 says:

    When I was younger I felt the need to be right all the time, or seen to be right, I felt I needed to be right to prove to the world I was worth something, (sad bunny that I was). Age and the knocks of life have knocked that out of me, and the ability to laugh at myself and things when they go wrong, as aloud me to ignore that little voice 😀

    • Kathy says:

      Me2013, you have described one of the benefits of aging. We do learn as we grow older. Well, sometimes we learn. Hopefully, we learn… Laughing at (or with) ourselves is a gift!

  32. jeffstroud says:

    Good Morning ! and days late to response yet even on second read the word that kept coming up is “ego”. It is your ego, our ego, that creates the wrestling match that our humanity and our spirit have. It is also our training as people, to act mature, and responsible, doing it right.

    I love your child like behavior in this, just do it, do for the joy of doing your writing, enjoy having a coffee or a tea or both, because you can, enjoy using your voice, when your voice is needed to express your thoughts whether at a meeting or in your blog.

    I don’t think you are going to find any distracters here, because you have attracted like minded/spirited people to your blog and into your life.

    • Kathy says:

      Hi, Jeff! I don’t think you are very late to the discussion. Only one or two days… Was so interested to read your thoughts about this, so am glad you took the time to come back and comment. You are right about our ego and the wrestling match that ensues. And you know–it really is hard to sacrifice the natural child like voice which rises in us. It feels so close to spirit and spontaneity. Yet in our society we sacrifice that inner voice in the name of dignity and appropriateness and culture so many times… Thank you again!

  33. I’d love to meet you in that field any day! 🙂

  34. I don’t know, Kathy…I waited to respond to this post. I waited to read other comments. I thought and thought about how to say this, and maybe I shouldn’t at all…
    I have similar conversations going on, but I think of them as between my [slacker] self and my [wanting to be better]self. If I employed your tactic (of making the inner voice out to be the “bad guy” with no spiritual center and probably no heart, and the universe to be the “good guy” with a deeper meaning none of us can fathom but should just blindly follow), my conversations would look like this:
    Inner voice: “You really should get up and do those dishes that have been stacked in the sink since dinnertime last night, and plan that class that you committed to and take your poor neglected dogs out for a walk…”
    Universe: “You should sit right here, chatting with other bloggers and checking facebook statuses and writing if you feel like it because the universe wants you, of course, to indulge your every whim.”
    Am I just looking at it wrong?? I truly do want to be an enlightened being, but I just don’t see it in this particular context.
    Please, please don’t be offended, and please enlighten me if I am just being a stodgy stick-in-the-mud here. And, as always, thanks for a thoughtful post!

    • Elisa says:

      I can really identify with your feedback, with what you wrote here about what ran through your mind. Using ‘flow’ and ‘now’ as out of context items, has been a very destructive thing for the very people who probably need to take a harder look at themselves. I have yet to see it work to hide inside of fluffy words, repeating them and pretending like a zombie, while feeling elated to be doing the ‘right’ thing. If I stay abstracted and just look at you as best you painted yourself as you thought, and look at me thinking about your words and all of my experiences with this subject. I, personally, can see that there are still all sorts of people in the world, trying to use language and context so that others might walk with them, or understand.

      Another thought, I have found, for me, if the ‘universe’ or another of my innards, tells me a fluffy thing like how to avoid something, it’s just a justification for ignoring the next right thing. With all of those inner things going on, if one is very aware of self and surroundings, it can get very loud and noisy. So, if the ‘universe’ or my real inner desire is to plunk on the floor and to play dress up and dollies, then it is my job in reality to locate the thing that meets all of my reality life needs, but that doesn’t run over the dollies. There are all sorts of things that come before a person makes a comment or writes a thing, and I as a reader can often respond as if that is all, and it’s not. As a Humor, I now want to present Kathy with another puppet labeled Universal Fluffy Kathy. I like that in all of her writings over the years, I have been graced to see all sorts of aspects of Kathy and her trip through this world. Tips teacup to Kathy.

      • Kathy says:

        Elisa, I so often don’t want to write anything about this because every word used means something different to all of us, and words like enlightenment, flow, now and other *popular* terms can be challenging. I can’t write another word on Simply Here until some new words present themselves…and if no new words present themselves…well, that’s that.

        Have started to substitute the word “life” for “Universe” lately. It seems to cut closer to the edge. (Although how something so huge can cut closer…) I do have a Universal Fluffy Kathy and I have a razor-sharp Realist Kathy and even, this is so hard to admit, a pessimistic Kathy although we like to keep her under wraps. But whenever we keep parts of ourselves under wraps they tend to come out sideways and unexpected, don’t they?

        The Universal Fluffy Kathy really doesn’t get much stage time in day-in day-out spiritual work, though. That’s why she likes to come out sometimes on blogs. She can be so neglected…

        And what about the Universal Fluffy Elisa? How often does she come out to play?

        • Elisa says:

          Sometimes before a Morning Trip. I laughed at your question and said oh, just about all of the time that I’m NOT talking and NOT writing 😀 Universal fluffy me sees and feels and doesn’t have words. The lack of expression can get the knickers of the others all in a twist. That part is really funny, unless it comes out sideways! Hmm if you wish specific examples: when I stare out of the window, when I lie in the grass, when I listen behind what happens when people think and breathe. See, the expression just …sigh. I didn’t forget your email. I am considering it. Trying not to run you down with 5 person-type answers!

          • Kathy says:

            That is interesting. What you described is more like…Life…to me. Laying in the grass, no words, staring out the window, being. It’s more like being. Wondering why you call it Universal Fluff? I swear it’s amazing people can ever understand one another when we all use so many different words for things. As for answering my email, don’t feel like you have to. Venting Kathy just had to carry on for a bit yesterday afternoon and then she felt better.

            • Elisa says:

              OHhhhhhhhhhh no no no. It IS life to me!!! yes yes wee yes. The Universal Fluff, I had to try to approximate that to my way of doing what I have to decode is what you do or meant. Sort of! If I ever do the Universal Fluffy by my own definition, please shoot me right then roflmao! or deprogram me or i dunno cause something will be broken about me and my exchange with life. I rather miss this back and forth type talking. I have been noting that WP, or my experience with it, is moving more to vapid FB type praises and you do me, i’ll do you things. It can be tough for me to know expectations and then to decide if I feel like following them. I do not feel obligated at all, and if I did, I would REFUSE to answer, until I got past it! Hey that is part of my return email, I think.

              • Kathy says:

                OK, this is the very last thing I’m gonna say because Life is nudging this one to the mailbox and then maybe a cuppa tea and then maybe it’s time to vacuum the basement because have been putting that off–well, we won’t talk about how long. I was thinking about writing a blog about friendships and how LONG it takes to really know another person’s language, thoughts, perspectives. It really takes years literally. My friend, Melinda, and I have been doing this since 1999 and sometimes we’re on the edge of knowing one another! But there is still so much to learn. We try to typecast people and their thoughts so often into our own definitions, but a person/Life is always changing and moving. We’re never really the same, if we were ever the same. I have another friend who is always telling me who I am. It’s like she needs reassurance. When ever we’re together driving around it’s like she’s trying so hard to categorize. She’s never liked my blog much (and this could be a projection) because it doesn’t fit the mystic mold she’s created of me. She can not abide by the humor. It doesn’t fit what she’s thinking. (Oh how interesting, this side note about humor.) HOWEVER, just this past month she’s said something to reveal that she IS ready to change her definition. Life continues its flow…

    • Kathy says:

      Cindy, I am not offended at all! I am glad that you are thinking deeply about this. Sometimes it feels like I shouldn’t even try to say anything about this, because it so often seems to come out wrong. By dividing the debate into the “Universe” and “inner voice” and somehow making one bad and one good…well, that was not my intent at all. Actually, I believe there are 100,000 different inner voices. In Voice Dialogue (an approach I studied) there are inner voices like the Controller, the Bitch, the Happy One, etc.

      It seems like you may be having trouble because your inner voice is pointing in a different direction than mine was at the time. My inner voice was saying what you think the Universe is saying in your example, and the Universe is saying what the inner voice is saying.

      The Universe–or Life–would be saying “do the dishes because they need doing” and some inner child would be insisting “but I want to drink coffee, play around on email, check blog hits.”

      The Universe (or better, still, Life) feels like a deep inner knowing what the next right appropriate action is. There is a flow which comes from following that inner knowing and not just responding from our habitual patterns. (The child, the hurt one, the frightened one, the angry one).

      However, there does seem to be a viewpoint which encompasses this viewpoint. (And this is where I probably will start babbling.) In that viewpoint there is a gentle acknowledgment of our imperfect perfection. It allows for the coffee drinking, the email, the blog hits. It allows for sin. For “missing the mark”. For not following the inner knowing which instinctively knows what to do next.

      When awakeness feels the strongest in me there is no problem reconciling all of this. But not all the time. Thank you, again, Cindy for asking this question. Hope I explained what I’m feeling and thinking a tiny bit.

      • Well, I believe you, Kathy, when you say the Universe would be telling you to do the dishes…but in this particular instance, and where my judgment came from, it seemed like the Inner Voice was full of “should” and “should not”s, and the Universe was saying, “Indulge yourself…check your facebook…write about the message you find there…” and when this happens to me, I see that Universe as one hell of a nice guy, and that Inner Voice as a big spoil sport. And I have to watch out for giving that “Universe” too much credibility, because it’s still ME – whether we call it Life or God or the Universe…but, oh my gosh, this IS a juicy subject! I may have to write a blog about it myself! Thank you for listening, and for your good explanation!

        • Kathy says:

          Yes, Cindy, I see your point. And it is a juicy subject! Good luck with your blog. I wish Life WOULD tell me to indulge in Facebook and email and blogging a little more. Maybe that’s why it can be such a relief when it sometimes happens…

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