Gratitude for sh*t

Gentle reader,

We’ve now reached Week 3 of this Gratitude series.

This week something happened.

I hesitate to tell you what.  It might offend your sensibilities.  Literally, this might stink.  It is a very sh*tty blog.

But let us persevere!

Only continue to read–if you dare.

Dump truck delivers our pile of manure for the garden!

Dump truck delivers our pile of manure for the garden!

Thank you, dear Universe, for blessings such as manure.

I have been begging, bewitching and pleading with Barry for 5-10 years. Please, please, please can we get some sh*t for our garden?

Our poor onions remain stunted after a season’s growth and sometimes barely grow larger than the planted bulbs.  Our tomatoes droop sadly on the vine, desiring more natural fertilizer to grow.  Our zucchini–well, we shan’t malign our zucchini, shall we?  Let’s just say we no longer produce enough to sneak it into unsuspecting cars as mass giveaway presents.

Spreading implements wait to "do their duty"

Spreading implements wait to “do their duty”

We can’t entirely blame the garden soil.  The soil actually nourishes two rather LARGE plants that grow in its bosom.  Those large plants are called spruce trees.  We haven’t–yet–had the heart to cut down the lovely trees where chickadees and blue jays and nuthatches alight. Where chipmunks and red squirrels scamper.

We love our spruce.  They just don’t encourage a delightful productive garden. Barry buries fish guts in between the beans and broccoli, but, hey, it’s just not enough.  Neither was the natural fertilizer we sprinkled how many years ago.

Please, Barry, I begged, can we buy some sh*t?

The '51 Massey Harris saves the back-breaking day!  Saves Barry a lot of pitchin' and bitchin'!

The ’51 Massey Harris saves the back-breaking day! Saves Barry a lot of pitchin’ and bitchin’!

No, we couldn’t.  Alas.  Our former manure-delivery-guy no longer owned a truck.  We only heard rumors of sh*t way up in Keweenaw Bay, and no one could determine exactly WHO owned both the delivery truck and the goods.

The tale of the poo-less garden continued year after year.  I tried to count my blessings.  I tried, truly, dear reader.

Barry tills the sh*t into the garden, bless his soul.

Barry tills the sh*t into the garden, bless his soul.

Last week Barry found the Guy.  And is he a manure EXPERT!  He sold us his “secret blend”.  I shall whisper the recipe:  2 parts medium-fresh cow pucky for punch (it will provide necessary heat in spring.  We do not want old dead powdery compost, which might be good for your flowers.)  1 part pony poo with added bird doo for that extra zing!  (Bird doo, for you unsuspecting sorts, equates to chicken manure, bless their clucking beaks.)

Our delivery guy, bless him as well, lowered to his knees to show us each component.  My heart beat in joy!

We received almost seven yards of manure, dear reader, and I swear I haven’t been this blessed and grateful in ten years.  (That may be a little exaggeration, pardon my enthusiasm for Life’s Little Pleasures.)

The problem (every rose has its thorn, right?) is that the dump truck kind of, sort of, missed the garden a teeny tiny bit.  Thus, yours truly, who does not want to arrive at work with sh*t on her shoes must troop around the yard with a bucket and gloved hands and PICK UP THE PUCKIES!

It’s only because I’m so grateful with the thought of dancing lettuce, fist-sized ruby beets and waving cilantro that this manure remains the major blessing of my week.

Grateful for you stopping by and (hopefully) laughing along with us.

Love, Kathy

Kathy picks up gloved sh*t BY HAND because she's not fond of stepping on it.

Kathy picks up gloved sh*t BY HAND because she’s not fond of stepping on it.

P.S. Some of you are already wondering why I didn’t spell out the word sh*t. That’s because my mom would have driven all the way up north and washed my mouth out with soap, don’t you know?

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
This entry was posted in October 2013 and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Gratitude for sh*t

  1. Reggie says:

    You are the funniest, strangest person I know! 🙂 I am laughing so hard… Brilliant.

  2. In any life, a little shit is inevitable–and even sometimes something to be desired. Thank you, Universe, for the SHIT! Gotta love it.

    May you day be shit-less or full-of-it–take your choice. LOL

    Hugs from Ecuador,
    Kathy

  3. I did good deeds galore but did not write them. I do not have this marvelous excuse of a tale to be told as written here!

  4. sybil says:

    Thou shouldst not be wary of saying “shit” for “shit” is a powerful and wondrous thing.

  5. Shit happens. So glad your garden will be happier for it.
    xooxox S

  6. Susan Derozier says:

    I absolutely cannot stop giggling. “Poo-less”………..you are too much Kathy. But I await the photos next summer of giant garden rewards.

  7. Kerry Dwyer says:

    Never seen anyone so happy to be picking up poo.

  8. lisaspiral says:

    I just said in my workshop this weekend that’s it’s hard to grow anything without digging in a little shit. Great blessings to you and your future garden!

  9. Gay says:

    I love it Kathy, you always make me smile 🙂 I especially love this post and the pictures. We bought a cabin on 40 acres in the U.P. 6 years ago, it was off the grid, wood stove, solar power, organic garden, ponds and waterfalls, it was heaven. I am from the south but I fell in love with the U.P. and it’s people……unfortunately due to finances we had to sell this fall and it sold QUICK, we are back in Black Mountain North Carolina, a lovely place, but not the cabin 😦 I so enjoy your post and pictures….they take me back. God Bless!!

  10. Esther says:

    As a long-time organic gardener, I have to admit that a truckload of manure is one of the greatest blessings one can have! Glad you appreciate its many fine properties.

  11. Heather says:

    For a second I thought we were going to hear a tale of your remodeled bathroom! Instead we find that your garden next year is going to be terrific. You won’t know what to do with it all. You will have to resort to sneaky carload giveaways!
    PS – How far do you think the whole “You are what you eat” thing extends? Because you’ll eat the plants, but the plants will have eaten sh*t. Do you think once removed is far enough that we won’t suspect you of being full of it?

  12. Brenda Hardie says:

    Good Morning Kathy,
    I think you are generously blessed with a wonderful life up north in the woods. Having a big garden, tilled and nourished with natural fertilizers and a loving hubby who works so hard for you. And living in the midst of God’s beautiful creation—woods, woodland animals, bright blue sky–or serene gray sky, and my favorite beautiful lake ♥

  13. a fine thing to be grateful for–who knew?

  14. debyemm says:

    Returning to the earth, what came from it, to begin with. The best !!!

  15. For a second, when I saw the photo of the big truck, I thought you were having to have your septic system dug up. I thought, “that Kathy…she will find something good in anything…” I was happy to read, instead, that your gratitude is well aimed at a long awaited for pile of shit! Great post!

  16. john says:

    Your point of view and vision of the essence of life does the same thing for our minds that the sh*t does for your garden. Thank you!

  17. This is the ultimate in gratitude and in giving something back to Mother Earth. What made me smile the most was the way you referred to the ’51 Massey Harris. I never think about trucks ever but I could feel the gratitude in your caption!

  18. Fountainpenmlk says:

    My tomatoes loves lots
    Of it with good planting soil
    Mixed with it in 5 gallon containers
    It is oct 15 in southern ohio
    And I am still picking tomatoes
    Wonderful weather

  19. Yay for poo!
    I share your enthusiasm for natural fertilizer. I have bird poo galore ripening in my compost bins.

  20. Wow. Cow, horse, and chicken dung. Your garden in the coming years shall grow and produce with wild power. I’m so glad that you got a sh– load for your plants. 🙂

  21. sonali says:

    Heeeee!!! Look what I have to read here! I’m back from a short vacation, tired, had energy enough only to open my computer and here we go.. Madame Kathy, brings a smile on the otherwise dead-tired face *gleeful*

  22. Carol says:

    Kathy, that’s a lot of shit!

  23. Great post and thanks for the reminder – my garden needs some pooh too! It made me laugh when you quoted yourself saying, ‘Please,please, please can we get some sh*t for our garden’ because it sounded like you wanted to get it a treat! Like getting some ice cream for ‘our kids’ or a bunch of flowers for ‘our neighbours’ anniversary’, or whatever…and I got an image of your garden smiling! You sure know how to ground gratitude:-) Hugs, H xxxx

  24. Oh Kathy – I just love it! The title nearly had me snort tea out my nose, then the fun throughout. You never cease to amaze me! Ohhhhhh, and I was over at Laundry Line Divine just a few moments ago and loved the tale of two Kathy’s!

  25. The best kind of sh*t to be knee deep in Kathy! Your garden is thank you already 🙂

  26. Karma says:

    Holy sh*t Kathy! What a funny blog post! 😀

  27. Elisa says:

    LOL I want sh*t too, but uhm I’m not going to touch that and ….i keep thinking of e coli on my veggies and i’m afeared. (rolls eyes at self)

  28. jeffstroud says:

    Know this so full of shit I don’t know what to do? LOL

    Happy farming/gardening ! I am glad you find such joy in the simple pleasures of poo!

    Wouldn’t simple kitchen compose work just as well ? Saving the poop clean up!

    (I had to go search for your blog again! What up that? )

  29. Robin says:

    LOL! That’s some good sh*t! I need some for my garden, and now that you’ve given out the secret to good sh*t, I’ll know what to ask for. Thank you. I bet your garden will be amazing now that it’s full of sh*t. 😉

  30. Life is good when a load of shit makes a person truly happy.

  31. Christie says:

    I am so excited for your garden next year. I recall getting a “load” when I lived in E. Lansing for the garden. Neighbor was a little miffed by the smell, but the garden was great. When all was said and done the angry neighbor called to see if we had any extra he could put on his garden, go figure.

  32. Barbara Kass says:

    On day 16 of my government furlough, I needed some cheering up . . . good thing you had some sh*t to spread around 😀

  33. Munira says:

    I’m so happy for you! 😀

  34. Dawn says:

    You should also be grateful you are not plowing this into the garden in a blizzard. 🙂

  35. I WIlkerson says:

    Perfect title! Happy future gardening!

  36. Stacy says:

    I’m glad you didn’t spell out the word sh*t, Kathy. I do believe that, though we speak many ordinary words daily, the written word is sacrosanct. It deserves a respect that we don’t give the spoken word. That being said, yes, I did laugh with you. 😀

  37. I wonder if you could compress all that poop into writing/crafting paper? I suppose if one knew the secret of turning compost into paper, it could be possible, although I dare say it’s better in your garden. Sounds like you need that extra punch to help your veggies grow. 🙂

  38. Your posts always make me smile….. and sh*t NOT spelled out is much funnier anyway 😉
    Good luck with your garden, may you get extra large veggies next year!

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