Dearest readers! I had no intention of writing a post today, honest. But just finished morning meditation and wanted to share it with you here. Just in case any of you might feel like playing.
Do you sometimes have trouble meditating? Or, if you don’t meditate–stilling yourself long enough to sink deep within? Do you sometimes careen outward into the day without pausing on your couch or easy chair to check in with the heart of you?
Here is the question that I have been pondering daily lately: What’s true for me right now?
What is really really truly TRUE? Not: what is true with the world? Not: what is happening with my family? Not: what am I going to do today?
What is TRUE right now?
Of course this is the biggest question possible and pretty hard to answer logically or precisely. Therefore I have made up a meditative game (which perhaps you’ve already played in your own world).
Find a piece of paper. Any piece will do! Lined notebook paper. Sketch paper. Computer paper. Just make sure it’s big enough. 8 1/2 X 11 should do. Just in case *lots* of things are true for you.
Colored pens, a regular old treasured pen, a sturdy pencil or delightful markers may come in handy. Corral up whatever instrument(s) feel good.
Make yourself comfy. Coffee or tea might be warming and delightful. Or not. Whatever feels true for you in this moment.
Now you are prepared to “meditate”.
Your assignment should you choose to accept it? Write down in two, three, four or eight words what is happening now in your world.
This morning I wrote first: Furnace humming.
Pause the pen. Look around the room, listen, watch, see, observe. You might ask yourself the question again: What is true for me right now?
Next I wrote: Indecision about brewing another cup of coffee.
Pause that tool of expression and wait. Look around the room. Breathe (if that’s true for you). Feel your weight on the couch (if that’s true for you). Write those words if it feels right. Draw or doodle some art if that sings.
You can put these words anywhere on the page. Not necessarily in sentences. I kinda put mine this morning in a grid. Paragraphs seemed absolutely inappropriate. (Which I would show you, except some of what I wrote is too personal and my inner little ones are too protective to share.) Maybe circles will work for you. Just create some space between your words.
Pause between observations. Let the pen sit comfortably on the page if you want. Wait until the next thought or sensation or feeling arises.
I wrote: Feet, bare, under covers.
I wrote: Low-level running software program “I don’t know what to do, don’t know how to relax”.
Wrote: Cloudy, dark, cool, dismal, gray.
Always pausing between words. Silence began stretching longer and longer. I wrote: Silence.
Suddenly a whole sentence popped up: Don’t try to fit me in, hem me in, tie me up, change me for your opinions.
(This is what is true, what is coming forth, don’t stop any legitimate expression arising. Even if thoughts say, “I hate so-and-so”. Write it down. Let it loose. Let it come up on the paper and express itself.)
I also did not write down noticings twice. For example–if I noticed “breathing” I wrote it down once. If, five minutes later, I noticed breathing again–did not re-write it. Unless, for some reason, it insisted upon a secondary writing.
I drew a picture of a hanged man. A stick figure, yes. With A,B,C beneath it like the game Hangman. These words came up: None of the above. All of the above.
Keep letting your subconscious rise to the surface. Keep pausing between whatever the subconscious wants to say. Notice that something within stays very alert as it waits. Something else feels sooooo deeply relaxed that it is expressing so clearly What Is True for Me in the moment. And it can be anything.
No judgment to what what is coming up. (And if judgment is arising: Hello judgment! Write that down too without judgment.)
I wrote: A fun meditation practice. I boxed that in by drawing a funny hat around it.
Notice that two things are happening simultaneously. Thoughts, observations and noticings AND silence, relaxation, witnessing, spaciousness.
Suddenly these words arose: Buddha on the Page, Jesus in the Rafters.
Really? I dropped the notebook and pen and sprinted toward the computer to share this with you.
This feels like such a precious meditation. A different kind of meditation.
Does this sound like fun? Let me know if you try it and if it feels *joyful* and *lovely* for you, too! (Creativity feels like an antidote now to so much suffering in the world. At least that’s what’s true for me right now.)
Late edit: If you have 20 minutes, that is a perfect time to relax into this exercise. I have noticed that it often takes 15-20 minutes before the body says “ahhhhh…..” and really lets go.