People will fight about anything–I am now 100% sure.
We were forced to buy a new Cuisinart food processor this week. (Our old one just celebrated its 20th birthday, give or take a half dozen years.)
We chop, slice and dice with a food processor regularly. Every week. Sometimes every day. It’s a necessary item in our garden production household facility.
I could not figure out how to attach the large feed tube cover to the work bowl. My heart started beating fast with anxiety. Calm down, Kathy, this is not the end of the world, I tried to soothe the nervous inner one. What if we had to send this back to Cuisinart? This is not a big deal, Kathy.
I tried to attach the feed tube to the work bowl like its 20 year old predecessor.
No dice. No basil pesto.
Finally Googled Cuisinart Pro Custom 11 Food Processors and found my way to an instructional video.
Here’s how you do it, the friendly lady explained.
I stared, frowning, at the new silver Cuisinart in our kitchen.
Nope, still wouldn’t connect. I jiggled, juggled, and almost broke the connecting gismo.
Please, heavenly processor! Please work! Shred my carrots! Slice those cukes! C’mon, the zucchini is a’waitin’!
The video didn’t address my concerns, but I decided to read the comments anyway.
“Anyone who can’t figure this out is an idiot!” said a commenter.
OK, yep, I must be an idiot even though have been using a Cuisinart food processor since pre-blogging days and certainly knew how to snap the feed tube to the working bowl for almost two decades.
“Anyone who makes an angry comment like that is an idiot,” I snarled in return (in my head) and then promptly thought, “Let’s all calm down. Why do people get so angry? Why is everybody so angry in the world these days? Why am I so angry right now?”
Elaine, another commenter, replied:
well there must be alot of us idiots out there as l can’t figure it out either , what kind of help are you to agree its different and then say we are idiots ….. your comments are extremely rude ……
Whereas, Rude Man retorted: Yeah, I’m rude because I don’t sugarcoat the truth. And yes, there are a lot of idiots out there. Without ever reading the instructions, I figured out how to work the feed tubes on every food processor on display at my local Bed Bath and Beyond in just a few minutes, just by looking at them and saying to myself, “Self, what could that thing do if I pushed it/pulled it/lifted it/did-whatever-to-it?” It’s not exactly rocket science.
Seriously, dear blog readers? It comes to this? We are no longer polite to one another?
I breathed in and out very slowly and planned to wait until mechanically-oriented husband appeared in household and figured out this terrible food processor conundrum.
Except! Yay women’s lib! Yay, persistence! I stared at the most minute details of the video again and discovered–oh thank you, holy food processor gods–that the brand new feeding tubes attach to the working bowl in the back instead of the front.
It was one of the most lovely moments of the week. I was not an “idiot” after all. (Until the next mechanical challenge, that is, when I may have to agree that the mind just does not easily work this way.)
But seriously folks? We can even argue about food processors these days? What’s the world coming to? Who calls people idiots in public? Where’s the kindness? Let’s shred some carrots and talk about it, shall we?