Have you ever woken up in the morning with a yearning for…a yearning for…and you can’t say quite what you’re yearning for…?
You want something. Your heart wants something.
But you cannot articulate what you want.
Perhaps you start scrolling through Facebook searching for what you might want. You scroll and scroll and scroll and nothing satisfies. It’s all yesterday’s news, even when it’s brand new.
You search your email for some kind words to ease your yearning heart. Kind words may or may not arise, but that does not answer the persistent knock at some inner invisible door whispering, “Come, come, come” but you know not where to go.
You oh-so want to write a blog post, but what would you say? Nothing arises. There is simply nothing to say.
You look at the national and local news…and turn it off with a heavier heart than before. No more bad news, you think. What am I supposed to do?
Suddenly it becomes obvious. The murky waters of yearning clear just a tiny bit. You know what you want.
Pumpkin creamer in a cup of coffee.
(Of course you know that pumpkin creamer will not solve your existential yearning. Of course you know that. But that’s what arises as the NEXT THING you MUST have, so you hop in the car and drive to town for a cup of gas station coffee where you have spotted pumpkin creamer last week.)
Of course you didn’t hop in the car and drive twelve miles to town JUST for pumpkin creamer. You have six other items needed from the grocery store: lime, fish sauce, crackers, green pepper, serrano peppers and roasted & salted peanuts.
Of course you do not want to buy an entire bottle of pumpkin creamer because it’s filled with sugar & other detrimental items. One cup. One cup of coffee with pumpkin creamer is all you need. It will surely satisfy.
At the last minute you throw your “big girl” camera into the car. “Perhaps,” a thought rises, “perhaps I can take pictures of something…”
You arrive at the Holiday gas station and waltz in masked & ready for that pumpkin creamer–and there IS NO pumpkin creamer.
Foiled! Reluctantly, with a sad face 😦 beneath the mask you drizzle in some hazelnut creamer.
You drive to the grocery store. No fish sauce for tonight’s recipe! Foiled again!
But the Universe often has a plan.
I drove down to our Lake Superior and stared out over the bay. Grabbed the camera and started taking pictures.
Stopped four times between town and home, each time drawn by the mesmerizing pull of waves, water, sand, rock.
Hiked down a rocky & root-filled trail to the lake near an old Native American church. Stood beside crashing waves by First Sand Beach. Meandered down the quiet and sheltered Second Sand Beach.
Slowly a calm quiet filled my restless spirit.
Ahhhh, this I what I wanted.
This is what I yearned for.
To be out in nature. To feel the wet of lake waves splashing on rocks.
To see flashes of red leaves heralding autumn.
To peer through willows.
To open the door and walk outside and see where the yearning wanted to go.
I thought I wanted pumpkin creamer. Turns out that was just the tease to get me outside and down to the lake.
Are you feeling yearnings like these some mornings? Have you found ways to soothe the restless one or does pumpkin creamer work for you?
Lake Superior Spirit 
What an amazing post!♥️..and at a time like this in my life where I have been feeling exactly what you have described , this was much needed and it came at the perfect time, thank you Kathy.
Kayla, I am so glad this spoke to you! (We need to stick together, those of us feeling this way…)
Loved this post. Pumpkin creamer is something I would never yearn for, but the lake, yes, the lake. Or the ocean. Or, in a push, a river. Water, being near the water and hearing the sounds of the water lapping on the shoreline. Yes, yes, yes!
You’ve never yearned for pumpkin creamer, Carol, lol? You are now causing me to think of the ocean out there in western Oregon and how much I loved the waves and shoreline out in your neck of the woods. (Although ours isn’t too shabby around these parts.)
Oy! Leave that pumpkin cream where it is… OMG!!
Yes nature was calling, big lake with waves was beckoning to fill your searching spirit…
You took some great photos.
And hopefully you will be inspired to make your own pumpkin spice creamer to put in your coffee…
Ha ha, Jeff, I had to laugh! The only time I crave pumpkin creamer is in the fall–end September or early October. And I would never buy a store-bought brand bottle around here cuz they’re filled with sugar and chemicals. Have tried to make creamers before but haven’t had much luck. Instead went online and ordered some pumpkin nutpod creamers. Have used Nutpods for about two years now, they are made with coconut and almond and are really tasty. Who knew they had seasonal pumpkin? It should be here by Saturday.
I’m a Keto/IF person and I found the perfect pumpkin spice creamer for Autumn that is Keto friendly. I use, Omega Power Pumpkin Spice Creamer that I bought on Amazon. Not cheap, but worth every serving.
Went online to look at that and it does look like a great creamer! What I drink at home are Nutpods. Have you ever tried them? They are sugar-free and healthy, and I just discovered yesterday they offer seasonal pumpkin flavor–so it’s on its way toward our little house in the woods.
Ah, yes. The universe guided you there through the back door. Nature does have that calming effect, more than people-infested cities, in my opinion. Here, today it is cool and raining. A balm for the soul and completely unexpected- like your trip to the lake. XOXO
Stacy, I am glad you are getting some balm-for-your-soul-rain. We are getting balm-for-our-soul Indian summer with temps back in the 70’s and oh-so blue sky. Love it when the Universe guides. (Maybe it’s always guiding and we just miss the memo sometimes.)
I yearn to be doing the same thing but am too far away. Thank you for letting me live vicariously through your pictures.
Hi John! i actually thought of you yesterday during the lake visits and thought you might appreciate this blog post. Hope you guys are well and get to visit some fine autumn day before the snow sweeps in.
Oh, I know that feeling so well! Sometimes dancing helps
Dancing does help! (But only in the evening, and I am not sure why?)
I just looked and there is a plethora of pumpkin creamer recipes online! I’ve never had it. soryt a tunds like I need to give it a try!
Alanna, I really didn’t know you could make pumpkin creamer at home, either. Most of the times I have tried to make creamer with almond and/or coconut milk (my go to) it doesn’t end up tasting as good as the Nutpod creamer that I started using a couple of years ago when digestive problems cropped up. Will look around. Let me know if you discover a recipe you love.
So wise to discover what you really wanted/needed by following the journey all the way through. How many times do we (I) allow the “foils” to stop the journey before it’s complete? Love this, Kathy.
Susan, it’s interesting to think that something like an ordinary desire (of creamer, tortilla chips or chocolate) might lead to something more if we but keep following the clues like a game of scavenger hunt. May we not allow the foils to so disappoint us that we forget there might just be a different prize than we originally thought.
Love it!!💞
Thank you, Ruth! I almost went down your road at the end, but figured there were enough photos already. Twas fun!
Kathy, I don’t know what “pumpkin creamer in a cup of coffee” is! I get the coffee part of course, but we don’t have pumpkin creamer here in Australia – not that I know of anyway.
I get that yearning-for-something-but-I-don’t-know-what-it-is feeling often, after I’ve submitted a uni assignment. So I have that feeling now. So I’m going outside to do some gardening. 🙂
Do you drink creamer in your coffee, Joanne, or are you one that likes it black? I have to have creamer, but usually buy the healthy kind that doesn’t mess with my digestion like dairy. It seems so many of us getting that yearning-don’t-know-what-to-do feeling. I get it regularly, too. Hope you had fun gardening. Today I’m going out in the garden to finish pulling up our green beans.
Hmm, is creamer just cream, with pumpkin flavour added? We have plain old milk in our coffee, but I only drink skim milk because full cream milk is too, um, greasy I suppose, for want of a word. Now I’ve written “full cream milk” though, I’m wondering if that’s what creamer is in the US. Full cream milk here is just plain homogenised milk, so the cream is mixed through the milk which makes it richer than skim. How can something so simple be so confusing? **laughing** 😀
OK, how do I explain the craziness of US creamers? I thought the rest of the world had all of them, too. OK–you can drink regular milk in your coffee here. Our “full cream milk” is called half-and-half. Or you can buy soy milk, almond milk, coconut milk or oat milk. Then there are dozens upon dozens of “flavored creamers”. Most of them are made with chemicals and lots of sugar. There is hazelnut, french vanilla, southern pecan, white chocolate macadamia, salted caramel, raspberry…you get the drift. Sometimes they make seasonal coffee creamers like pumpkin. Hence, my quest into town. Does this help?
Yes, and I found it, Kathy! Online at least. It’s called Coffee Mate, but we only have vanilla and hazelnut here in Australia. I’d love to try pumpkin, so now I know where to look for it in the supermarket I’ll keep an eye open and let you know if we get any more flavours here at a later date. You never know, with Halloween next month, we just might. 🙂
Usually when I feel restless and unsure what it is exactly I want I eat my way through everything edible in the fridge. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes not so much. I’m glad you found out that just being outside fixes stuff. I know that. But often the fridge seems easier.
Dawn–I am no stranger to finding comfort in the refrigerator, alas. I think a lot of us look there first. C’mon, refrigerator, soothe us. If there had only been pumpkin creamer in the refrig…well, I would never have ventured out to the lake. And it was gorgeous yesterday in its many guises.
What is pumpkin creamer? Beautiful post and photos Kathy, I always find that my yearnings are solved by getting close to nature, even if it’s only going into the garden and chatting to the trees.
Do you drink creamer in your coffee, Tilly? We have all sorts of flavored creamers available in the stores, usually mostly made with chemicals and sugar, so I don’t like to drink them very much. (Except in extreme situations like yesterday, lol.) Heading outside to the garden as soon as this is done. Smiling thinking of you chatting with trees.
We drink plain milk in our coffee, but the creamer does sound nice. Trees are good listeners 🙂
OH dear HP Kathy! YES YES ty YES wakey poke elisa!
I am glad you enjoyed this today, Elisa! 🙂
Haha. I had to laugh. This is what would happen to me, running out to get one particular thing that I HAVE to have, and it’s not there. I’d probably cry in the car. Haha.
When I’m feeling agitated, restless, and/or yearning, I usually go for a Vanilla Chai (I’m not a coffee drinker). I have a powder mix that is the creamiest…the vanilla-ist…the richest yummy flavor that comforts me like Mom rocking her baby. The drink is not healthy, so I can’t do it often, and I like what you found better. Don’t have the beauty of a lake or sea nearby, though. Very urban where I live. I have to drive to Dad’s (84 miles) to get it (rural, lake, serenity). My dad moved there recently, and I’ve never seen him so happy in his entire 80 years.
What’s happening in the world does give me a yearning. Sounds like you were yearning for peace, which is why my dad is so happy where he lives now. It’s probably what a lot of us are yearning for and don’t realize it. Glad your pumpkin creamer craving fooled you. 😉
Hi Lori–I am glad you got a chuckle out of this, too. Your Vanilla Chai sounds creamy and delightful. Even though some things aren’t particularly good for us, sometimes we just long to be soothed, don’t we? I am glad your dad is happy now in his rural home, and so happy that you get to go visit him sometimes, too. It was really nice to go visit the lake again the other day–and today we went to a river where Barry needed to take pics for the paper. So, of course, I took some pics, too. Not sure if they’ll make it into a blog post or not. Nice to see you!
You are a soul searcher for sure, as well as a pumpkin creamer searcher (and I’ll admit right here that I never heard of pumpkin creamer, but I don’t/can’t drink coffee). But I think those of us who search for the innermost of our souls – and the souls of others – we yearn often. Yearning is a byproduct of soul searching. That’s what I think. And yes, going out into nature is a beautiful way to sooth our souls. xo
Oh, yes, my friend, how right you are. Yearning is a byproduct of soul searching. You’ve said it perfectly. I think I’ve lived with yearning most of my life and have too often reached for a “pumpkin creamer” (fill in the blank) to try to soothe it. But the yearning is for our soul, and vistas like nature can soothe it far better. xoxo
😘
Well, you, dear one, hit the nail right on the head! It wasn’t pumpkin creamer for me — nothing quite so lovely and fall like. No, I was just thinking I might go off my diet for a week and just graze through the junk food isle of any store nearby. With a promise to myself to get back on the wagon right after that last scrumptious Danish and all the other delicious but fattening and deadly food that came before! Sigh, what I think I need is a walk in my favorite park. The pond, the mill race, the blue herons, ducks of all stripes, even a few sea gulls, and of course the Canadian geese. All the greenery extending in every direction. Yup. Gotta get ready to go walk. Thank you!
Judi, I smiled reading your comment because–gosh darn it–that junk food aisle can be a temptress at times–that’s for sure! Hoping that you went for a long walk by the pond and a blue heron lifted its graceful wings nearby and you caught a glimpse of something more satisfying and lasting than that Danish. (But, darn, things like a Danish can taste so good going down!)
I enjoyed this story a lot. What a search. Though I would be happier if you found pumpkin creamer and had a nice time by the lake. Why not both? Haha. But I know what you mean, some days this hole is just palpable and it does not help that the fix is often unclear!
I am glad you enjoyed this little story! What a search, indeed. And, yes, wouldn’t it have been nice to have a happy-ever-after pumpkin AND lake story? I hadn’t thought about that both/and possibility yet. 🙂
Great post but I take issue with your idea that “pumpkin creamer will not solve your existential yearning.” I dunno, it seems to me that considering how we’re all living now IF you can find the right size of pumpkin creamer and enjoy it thoroughly THEN existential issues will be solved… at least for a short while. 😉
Well there you have it, Ally Bean! I had not yet contemplated that pumpkin creamer might truly solve my existential yearning! If it was enjoyed thoroughly enough…if it even existed in our neck of the woods. (I did order a healthy version on Amazon right after writing this blog post. *grin*)
Yes! I know that yearning… To be out in nature is almost always the answer, even if it takes a while to get there. I’m so happy you found your way to the calm quiet of the lakeshore. The last picture of the tree hanging over the water is very lovely. ♡
Barbara, I am glad you liked that picture. I liked how wispy the leaves looked. My mom said she liked the picture of all the rocks the best. Today we found our way to a local river and took lots of pictures there, too. Lovely Indian summer days…
Yes!! Been there! Ha! And your beautiful pictures satisfied my yearning. Oh how I miss the UP this time of year!!! The pictures you posted brought me back for a moment, I could hear the water lapping on the shore, see the unusual pieces of driftwood laying on the beach, feel the cool breeze on my face and those rocks, oh those lovely UP rocks, they are so smooth between your fingers. I had a special little beach, that was almost always this time of year, deserted. I use to love to walk on it in the fall with my chocolate lab, Hazel girl, she is gone now too, but the memories I have are a treasure that no one else shares. We saw a momma dear and her baby come out of the woods one time at the top of a waterfall, the baby slid down in the water!! I watched in terror and amazement as she struggled and struggled in the waves and finally made her way onto the sandy shore only to run off again in the woods with momma. It happened so quick I had no time to take a picture, but I will never forget that. Thank you for sharing the pictures. I really needed to see them. I miss that place so much! We are now in NC, farmland with mountains in the distance, pretty, but nothing compares to the magic of the UP!
I am SO GLAD to have satisfied YOUR yearning, Ms Green Bean! So you could experience, once again, the shores of the great lakes. Those UP smooth black rocks are so cool. And it’s great that the beaches are deserted right now–I didn’t see anyone in any of the four locations. So sorry that you’ve lost your Hazel girl, but glad you have memories of her frolicking here. That is a crazy story about the fawn and mama! Bet hardly anyone else has seen something like that happen. We went to a river today–it was beautiful too–different than the lake, but lovely anyway. I do love your enthusiasm.
This is such a wonderful post, Kathy. Thank you. My pumpkin creamer yearning turned out to be a trip to the beach to watch the waves. So, it was very similar to your yearning. 🙂 I would love to come visit your lake someday. It looks so beautiful.
Hi Robin, when our yearnings take us to some place beautiful–it’s worth the price of the yearning, I think. Your beach makes me miss the ocean so much…
So very beautiful. I often drink pumpkin spice coffee
Thanks, Bobz. And so you know about how one could yearn for the pumpkin spice! 🙂
“To open the door and walk outside and see where the yearning wanted to go.”
Wow. Yes, everyday that. You captured it in words perfectly.
Thanks, Lunar. I guess that yearning lives in so many of us. It’s in me right now. What to do? Write another blog post? Waiting to see what hatches, like a chicken egg. *smile*
Ahh, Kathy, I am sooo glad you listened to that little inner voice nudging you outside… And so glad you put your camera in the car too, so we can share this experience with you a little.
Gosh, Reggie, this seems like a long time ago when a yearning for pumpkin creamer became so strong that I dove into the car and headed for town! It was a fun meander along the lake. Glad you enjoyed!