Waiting and thinking and waiting some more

Waiting

It’s still an uncomfortable waiting time in the U.S. as we all ponder who will reach 270 electoral votes first to become the next president.

It can be hard to wait. It’s not pleasant–this sense of not knowing.

I keep checking the news, probably too much.

How is everyone else coping?

Thinking

This morning I am thinking about this seventy-five day commitment to get closer to God, the Holy Heart, Love with a capital “L”, Spirit or whatever name you use to describe our relationship with what’s bigger than our human egos.

Suddenly I am confused. What does this mean, anyway? What am I supposed to be doing? How in the world do you keep moving closer to the Holy?

What IS the Holy, anyway?

Is waiting for election results holy?

Is studying coronavirus stats sacred?

Is celebrating that our son and his wife just bought their first home holy?

What is the fine line between what’s Holy and what’s mundane?

The view of New York City from where our son lives in New Jersey now (not the view from the new house)

My off-the-cuff answer at 7:12 on a waiting Friday is this: It feels like the Holy is a sacred awareness of a larger love that encompasses everything. An awareness that surrounds the everyday with the glow of sacred awareness. (I am starting to garble on, but you try describing it at 7:12 on a waiting Friday. It’s hard.)

I do not look at the Holy as a judging God in the sky. Or a kind old man bestowing favors. Or even as a deity who will grant our every wish if we pray hard enough.

It feels more like a relationship. A way of seeing. A recognition of human and divine. A turning–again and again and again–toward love and compassion and something larger than election results, coronavirus stats and the joys and sorrows of life. This turning toward something larger does not minimize the actual ordinary everyday world. It enhances it. It makes the everyday shine and glow. It’s very tender. It surrounds the hurting with care. It embraces the underprivileged, the poor, the sad, the grieving, the losses, the cuts, the injustices, the horrors. It says, “there, there” and it never stops loving, ever.

Sacred

It’s what sings louder than the constructions of our minds. It dances more beautifully than our beliefs and opinions. It doesn’t fear death. Neither does it fear life. It whirls, it spirals, it continues opening us up to the Holy Heart.

OK, I’m not sure I said anything concrete here, but it feels like it’s touching the edges of what I’m trying to say.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts about this in the comments.

I am going to work training an employee at the school (from home, on the computer) in less than an hour. Then going for a brisk walk on a beautiful warm autumn day with a friend. Later–more raking of holy leaves. Blessings to all!

Day 20 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
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40 Responses to Waiting and thinking and waiting some more

  1. Larissa says:

    A few days ago, I was feeling into this very question. I’ve got no answers for sharing in public, just an appreciation of your willingness to dance with it ❤

    • Kathy says:

      Maybe I picked up on you feeling into this question. And it’s always tricky to share something this deeply personal in public, for sure. Dancing and tripping along here. 🙂

  2. I don’t have any answers, but I sense that all these things, including the waiting, which seems endless, are sacred. I’ve been turning to poetry lately so I will share one that comforts me with you:

    The days keep coming, coming –
    They watch me,
    waiting,
    full of expectant light.
    ~ Hans Børli

    • Kathy says:

      You and Robin are both into poetry these days! What a fascinating concept–that the days watch US full of expectant light. I like that, and thank you. (And I believe the waiting can be sacred, too. It’s just that I’m trying–once again–to wrap the mind around all this paradox.)

  3. jeffstroud says:

    Of course there is sense of waiting! Yet there is also the act of Being. What are you Being while waiting?
    What kept coming up while I read the beginning of this blog was that you live in an area that has a long winter months, days filled with snow, below zero temperatures; do you wait for the snow to arrive? or do you prepare in whatever way that is. Actually I think you prepare all year long.

    Spirit is not something we wait for; spirit is something we invite in. How do we do that? We write blogs, we pray or meditate, journal or you can sing and dance around the fire. Create art, make healthy meals for yourself a family. Spirit enters when we get out of our own way. Ask to how to be of service… Be aware, keep an open mind, continue to invite spirit in.
    Like any relationship if it is nurtured it grows, it glows, it warms us to our core and shines brightly out into the world we navigate in and through.
    ((( Hugs & Healing)))

    • Kathy says:

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts on spirit, Jeff. What especially struck me in your comment is that you brought up Being. I forgot about Being as being the Holy base this morning. So thank you for that. Being shining forth in all things–waiting, raking, our son’s picture of the sunflower in your New Jersey. And I so agree about how it’s all about relationship. Thanks again!

  4. Val Boyko says:

    A lovely reflection that really resonates with me today. I especially love
    “A turning–again and again and again–toward love and compassion and something larger than election results, coronavirus stats and the joys and sorrows of life. This turning toward something larger does not minimize the actual ordinary everyday world. It enhances it. It makes the everyday shine and glow. It’s very tender. It surrounds the hurting with care. It embraces the underprivileged, the poor, the sad, the grieving, the losses, the cuts, the injustices, the horrors. It says, “there, there” and it never stops loving, ever.”
    We think we are the small self we identify with every day, and forget that we are essentially much more and connected to something bigger which we call God, the Divine, Source, Presence, Love. That is our essence to come back to again and again. 🙏❤️

  5. Susan D. Durham says:

    I saw someone’s post that read: “With all my stress eating, I’ll reach 270 before the candidates do.” Gave me a good chuckle in the midst of the chaos.

  6. Carol says:

    What is holy? I cannot say. I believe there is a God, by whatever name he/she is called. I believe he gave up brains, the ability to do things, to think, to reason, but I believe he expects us to use these gifts he’s given us wisely. Are we doing that? Not so much, I fear. Election results? Frustration mounted here when McConnell and Graham were reelected – what happened to that term limits thing? – and with that the knowledge that whoever is president nothing will get done. I have given up. For now at least.

    • Kathy says:

      Carol, sometimes wisdom seems sorely lacking in humans, indeed. You have been through a lot lately–I am so very glad to see you up and about and in the blogging world again. (See you’ve published a post and hope to get there before too long.) You may have noticed that I’ve switched directions and am musing on all things holy between now and year’s end. So happy you are well again.

  7. Osa Holmes says:

    this is a beautiful peace and provokes me to be the grace of the light that is the source of it all.. waiting… vibration.. life.. love.. glorious harmonies and discord… absorbing all that nourishes, releasing all that is compleat. 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      This is beautiful, Osa, to be the grace of the light that is the source of it all. Like you, this is my wish, too. Must be one reason we were drawn to be in Montana together with Brooke all those years ago. ❤

  8. Stacy says:

    I think you touched deeper than the edges. The Holy Spirit, as I feel it, is, indeed, an all-encompassing love. We ARE worthy of this love, in spite of flaws. We must never separate ourselves from it because everything in creation IS holy, because everything in creation is an opportunity to love and be loved. Even raking leaves because that is expression of caring for the earth, or doing it so that your husband doesn’t have to, or doing it so that Granddaughter can jump in them and find joy in her tender heart. XOXO

    • Kathy says:

      Oh good, Stacy, did we wade in deeper than our knees in the River of the Holy Spirit? I hope so. It’s so hard to talk about. I love what you shared here. Thank you and–splash! tee hee

  9. leelah saachi says:

    Your poetic descriptions of Holy resonates deeply with me.

  10. Barb says:

    I’ve always liked waiting. The idea of patience in life is something to which I aspire (and often fail). The Spirit doesn’t burn brighter or less bright no matter who wins or loses an election. A political party or a person in power cannot change individual or collective spirit. I would refrain from giving a political party that much power.

    • Kathy says:

      Oh my, Barb–you like waiting! I am so impressed. And I do agree with what you said that the Spirit doesn’t change its light no matter who wins an election. But the thing I like about this waiting for the election is that it prompted me to think more deeply about what Spirit is. And to try to put it into words. And to perhaps inspire other people to look again, as well. That was the gift shining in the waiting today.

  11. dawnkinster says:

    I feel much better now at the end of the week than I did on Tuesday night. Still, even if we get a new president it won’t mean all our problems are solved. So much division still. Still covid. Still economic issues. Still climate change. But at least we will have a chance of beginning to work on all of it.

    • Kathy says:

      Glad you’re feeling better, Dawn. Me too. And I so agree that a new president won’t solve all our problems–maybe not even most of them. But it will be a new dawn in many ways. (Sorry, I couldn’t help it–your name reminds me of the hope of a new sunrise. Smile.)

  12. aFrankAngle says:

    So much about our election is selfish and being spoiled. After all, not many presidential races when into the next day in my lifetime! On the other hand, 2000 *Bush-Gore) we waited until December – and we survived! This election is like the upcoming season of Advent – Yep – it’s all about waiting.

    • Kathy says:

      DID we wait until December during the 2000 election, Frank? Where was I in 2000 to have forgotten this? Hmmm…our oldest graduated from high school that year and headed off to college. Now am thinking about Advent and the wait of that season. How waiting CAN be a very holy pause.

  13. Perhaps the Holy is connection, awareness, which is not far from a relationship as you said. I hope the walk gives you more space.

    • Kathy says:

      I think it is, Markus and Micah. And the walk was lovely! My friend and I walked and talked for about two miles. It was nice to get together and catch up.

  14. Joanne says:

    The Holy to me is what you said early in the post – Love with a capital “L”. I’m convinced that when we push aside all the complexitites of the world and get down to the bare-bones of life, Love is what it’s all about. ❤

  15. sherrysescape says:

    Your expression of who/what the Holy is really resounds with me and I find it quite comforting.

Thank you for reading. May you be blessed in your life...may you find joy in the simple things...

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