Life is just life. Appearing as it’s appearing, moment after moment.
Whether we like it or not.
Whether we stamp it with approval or long to toss it in the garbage.
Seeing the Holy is a way of glimpsing the such-ness of life.
We’re not just focused on the wee self anymore–there’s a sense of spaciousness and relaxation and encompassment that doesn’t deny the wee self, but doesn’t keep it highlighted at the center anymore.
How is life appearing here this morning?
Barry lingers longer with his coffee on the couch these dark November mornings. He’s not leaping toward work at 7 a.m. I am pondering that he’s starting to relax towards retirement. He’s thinking he’ll wait until age 66–about a year and a half away now– when it’s possible to collect full social security, but who knows? I just watch him comfortable on the couch with coffee and wonder if he’ll delay that long.
We don’t know much of anything these days, do we? (Spirit says: And can you relax in not-knowing?)
Yesterday I walked with my good friend, Deb, on the beach behind the Pow Wow grounds on the other side of the Keweenaw Bay. It’s hunting season in the northwoods, so you want to stay out of the woods. We canceled our plans to get together with her and her husband at Thanksgiving, but we decided an outdoor walk was safe. We stayed six feet apart, walked two miles, chatted for an hour. We’ve been getting together with them all summer, outside and in well-ventilated spaces. But Thanksgiving felt like a no…so we disinvited them last week. That felt awkward, but right. (Spirit says: and are you OK with awkward but right?)
We both snapped pictures of the Baraga Lighthouse with our phones. The sky and clouds loomed awesome above the lighthouse, but the lighthouse didn’t even appear on the photo. (Spirit says: Are you OK with what shows up? Can you be totally OK with what is revealed?)
I did not start cleaning the house yet, Oh Holy. See yesterday’s post. Today, I promise, promise, promise to start with the messy closet in the center of the house. Will go snap a photo of said messy closet.
Oh my goodness, does this feel vulnerable in the nethers of the stomach to share my messy closet with the world! (Spirit inquires: Are you OK, with that, Kathy, or do you want to keep it private for now? Kathy thinks and replies: I’m cool with it, but thanks for asking.)\
I would like to clean that closet consciously this morning. Like a meditation. Picking up each item, pondering if it’s still needed or relevant or loved, placing items in a bag for the resale store. Breathing. Not lost in mazes of thoughts. Continually returning to the body, to the aura of peace, to just life appearing now, now, now. Being compassionate when I realize that thoughts hijacked the Kathy-plane at least six dozen times.
It’s so easy to lose ourselves in mazes of thoughts. Lost in a human dream of you, me, this, that.
I want to be here today. For hopefully minutes or god-willing an hour or miraculously a day. The Holy is always here, whether we know it or not. But those seconds we know it feels like the peace that passeth all understanding–or maybe just pumpkin pie for the soul. (Making pumpkin-squash pie with whipped coconut cream this weekend!)
Spirit says: thanks for including me in your day. Thanks to all of you who pause and connect with Me.
Day 34 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.