We usually save such year-end questions for after Christmas. While we’re chilling after the holiday rush. When we’re not frantically buying presents, penning cards, decking the halls with boughs of holly.
But this year–if you’ve time or inclination–let’s ask this question earlier than usual. What have you learned in 2020?
You can share your answer in the comments, or you can chew on it for the next few weeks. You can give half a response or a detailed analysis. You can shorten it to one word.
But let’s allow this to soak in during these waning days of this unique challenging wonderful awful year.
Maybe our musing will bear riper fruit, or brighter mistletoe, or more sparkly stars on a cold moon-less night in the fairy dark. Maybe we’ll discover something important to bring with us into 2021.
Of course a person can’t ask this question without revealing what she has learned in 2020, so here goes:
I learned that anything can happen at any time.
That one minute you’re visiting friends and family la-de-da and the next minute you’re staying home trying to prevent a rampant virus from spreading too quickly.
I’ve learned we can’t take small acts for granted–hugs, close contact, dinners with friends and family, airplane trips, group gatherings.
I learned that part of me has the patience and contentedness to stay home. It has taken many, many years of spiritual exploration to find an inner calm where restlessness abates…so am grateful for these years of inner work. I was one of the most restless souls on the planet (may be a slight exaggeration, but only slight) during younger times. I feel for the people left dangling in their own boredom and restlessness and unprocessed emotions during 2020’s”God’s time out chair” as my friend Jodi calls it. I am also learning that many can’t stay in the time out chair without feeling totally discombobulated.
I learned that I am not as spiritually evolved and emotionally mature as hoped. Alas. Lots of feelings of anger and annoyance and pissed-off-ness rose toward other human beings during 2020. The intensity of anger running through this system–especially in May and June–felt overwhelming. I believe the holy heart brought forth much unconscious emotion to the surface to be digested during this wild-wangled year. Digest, digest, digest. Whether we’re aware of it or not, I believe deep unconscious patterns have arisen to the surface to be met, absorbed, and brought to the light of love and awareness.
I have learned (once again) that much goodness shines in this seemingly broken world. That people step up to the plate and give. That gratitude can make all the difference. That stuck patterns can unexpectedly change. That this blogging community rocks around the Christmas tree at all times of year. That something–I don’t know what it is–trumps despair. Something trumps political and virus differences, fights, name-calling, bitterness, hatred. Something can even trump Trump. (Ha ha, sorry, couldn’t help myself!)
I call that something the holy heart. I still can not articulate it very well, but I keep trying. Some people name it God. Others like Jesus, Allah, Great Spirit, Higher Self, Presence. Whatever name you call it–there’s something even larger than those names. It keeps pointing us back to love.
It’s right here in this imperfect perfect moment and it’s beating like your thumping red heart informing all of life, all of death, all of your cells, every tree in your backyard, those sweet little chirping chickadees, your sparkling Christmas lights, your unique and beautiful soul shining brighter than than the morning sun. Oh, human, feel that beautiful soul and lay it in the nativity of your innocence once again as we turn, turn turn the wheel of life toward 2021.
Day 52 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.