Ready for it to end! Don’t want it to end…

An ending? Or a beginning?

I can’t wait until this seventy five day blogging commitment is over. Counting the days until it’s ended…six, five, four… Man, it’s lasted forever and a day. 2021 can’t come soon enough!

I am going to be bereft when this blogging commitment is finished. Probably at loose ends, mourning a bit, sad, not sure how to proceed. Oh no, how could it end this quickly?

Good morning, friendly readers! How’s your day going so far? If it’s like mine, every day resembles a paradox where different inner viewpoints and feelings present themselves.

Two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time.

We can be so excited for something to end–and yet conversely grieving that it’s over.

I find this utterly fascinating, don’t you?

Beginning? Ending?

I have also discovered that a big part of spiritually opening the heart is learning to accept and live with this truth. Two seemingly opposite things can be true at the same time. And we can relax into allowing this to be.

You can love someone, but they also drive you crazy.

You can enjoy the holidays, but also dread them.

You can like an activity, but also feel bored by it.

You can dislike this pandemic year, but conversely feel nurtured by it.

Ending? Beginning?

I just googled “opposites are true” and discovered this delicious Facebook post by Jacob Ernst, MSW RSW (whatever those acronyms mean!) and want to share it here.

Remember, two opposing things can be true at the same. ⁣⁣Here are some reminders about holding opposites: ⁣⁣You can feel worthy of compassion, even when you are making mistakes. ⁣⁣You can allow yourself to take a break, even when you have done the bare minimum. ⁣⁣You can be confident and certain, even when you are learning and unlearning. ⁣⁣You can be capable of growth, even when you are feeling frozen and stuck. ⁣⁣And, in an opposite voice: ⁣⁣I can feel worthy of compassion, even when I am making mistakes. ⁣⁣I can allow myself to take a break, even when I have done the bare minimum. ⁣⁣I can be confident and certain, even when I am learning and unlearning. ⁣⁣I can be capable of growth, even when I am feeling frozen and stuck. ⁣

I’ve sat five minutes waiting to see if the typing fingers have anything more to say but they think Jacob said it all. No, wait a minute, of course Jacob didn’t say it all. There’s much MORE to say! (And three more days in which to say it. *smile*)

Just kiddin’ you again, of course. I am not going to be done blogging. Just wrapping up this daily blogging commitment!

(Extra credit if you can comment on an opposite that is true in your experience.)

Day 72 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.

About Kathy

I live in the middle of the woods in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Next to Lake Superior's cold shores. I love to blog.
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32 Responses to Ready for it to end! Don’t want it to end…

  1. leelah saachi says:

    I will miss it i think.
    These struck me in a good way:
    ⁣⁣”I can allow myself to take a break, even when I have done the bare minimum. ⁣⁣I can be confident and certain, even when I am learning and unlearning. ⁣⁣I can be capable of growth, even when I am feeling frozen and stuck. ⁣”
    I mean – REALLY?

    • Kathy says:

      I am glad you miss this, Leelah! (The part that has loved this so much says.) Will be interested to see what’s coming next, whether it will be more words about spirituality or back to more “ordinary every day” blogging like in the past. Probably will be a mix of both…but don’t know. And I liked those parts that Jacob said, too. It’s an “of course” but one that perhaps certain parts of ourselves haven’t got yet.

  2. Life is a paradox, isn’t it? And we seem set, we human beings, on making sense of something that is really out of our control and many times completely nonsensical! My paradox? I love being around people and can’t wait to be home alone with a good book. :–)

    • Kathy says:

      I so agree–so much (everything?) is out of our control, and yet we try to make it all into neat tidy sense. Love your example of paradox! And I would agree with this example 100%.

  3. Speaking of opposite things being true at the same time, the other day I was contemplating how some people work really hard when they’re young to save enough money to retire early and enjoy leisure time for the rest of their lives. And then there are others who wouldn’t dream of retiring and want to be useful and contributing to society full time until they die. I’ve known both and wondered if the first was a selfish position, even though I was raised to regard it as desirable and sensible, as in getting out of the way for the next generation of workers. And then I started wondering why I felt the need to assign a moral value to these choices. And then I started thinking, maybe both are “true” or “right.” Maybe some people manage to be useful and enjoy leisure. Just my little ponderings as I observe what others my age are doing at this time in their lives.

    • Kathy says:

      How very interesting, Barbara! For some reason I haven’t thought of this before, at least haven’t thought of time of retirement in terms of selfish or not. You may be right that it’s a paradox here, and neither position is right or wrong. It’s so fascinating how our minds often want to make things one way or another and do not like ambiguity. Not one little bit. (And yet a part of us might love ambiguity…hmmmm…..)

      • Maybe it’s one of those cases where “different” doesn’t mean better or worse, just different things work for different people. My parents believed in working hard when they were young and planned for a leisurely retirement. But my mother got sick and died before she could retire and enjoy the fruits of her labor. This made me wonder a lot over the years about how to balance working and relaxing. I guess the paradox is that feeling useful is important but enjoying recreation is important, too. Maybe that’s the paradox of retirement. We can be happy our days of productivity are behind us, and at the same time feel sad that we no longer feel useful…

        • Kathy says:

          Barbara, thanks for sharing about your mom and what happened to her. No wonder you’ve thought about this quite a bit. That balance between working and relaxing–how do we achieve it? And when have we gone off into one of the extreme polarizations of it? No easy answers. But thank you for this. Now I am thinking about it, too.

  4. Larissa says:

    I miss seeing people. And I am doing just fine without them!

  5. I love my solitary life; I imagine a wonderful life filled with family and friends.

    • Kathy says:

      Yep, Cindy, I so get this. The paradox of loving being alone, imagining being with others. It’s like there’s different parts of us that want different things.

  6. jeffstroud says:

    MSW & RSW is Master Social Work, RSW is Registered Social Work… just in case you wanted to know!

    Kathy, I am extremely grateful for your daily presence here! Your daily blog on or with The Holy has offered a great morning meditative thought provoking experience for me personally. This a has been a warm, comfortable space, filled with humor, insight, and an opportunity to enrich our friendship.
    Nothing ever really ends, it becomes the beginning of something else, an evolution, a change of attitude, a way of seeing the world in a different way, and so on!
    Throughout this process you have shared about connectiveness, Oneness. and so it is…

    • Kathy says:

      Jeff, thanks for the acronym clarification! I could have looked it up but was too lazy (while being very industrious, ha ha, another paradox.) Thank you so much for your kind words, Jeff. So glad this blog has provided morning meditation for you. And you have followed it heartfully and provided so much input. It’s been wonderful having you here. I so appreciate your Presence. xoxo

  7. Robin says:

    I am simultaneously saddened and grateful for this pandemic year. There is grief for those friends and family we lost. There is gratitude for lessons learned. I wonder if any of those lessons would have been learned by me in this lifetime without a pandemic year. This year has fast-tracked so many things, including letting go of so much that needed to be let go. On the other hand, I’ll be glad to see the end of this year and the pandemic. I’m exhausted and energized by it. 🙂

    But… it just occurred to me that the end of the year I’ll be glad to see will also mean the end of your 75-day journey, so I’m somewhat sad about that, too. And grateful. And happy that you took us on this journey with us. I’d better stop now before I tie myself up in paradox knots. 😀

    • Kathy says:

      Robin, isn’t it truly strange how we can both be so sad–and grateful–for this pandemic year? I feel exactly the same. We have learned so much. And yet it’s time for it to be over. Exhausted and energized. A human mind can’t wrap itself around paradox very well. Thank you, also, for your steadfast accompaniment on this journey. For your enthusiasm. It has helped to keep me energized and dedicated. All of you guys who have read and commented and share faithfully. xoxo

  8. You’re nearly there and it’s a huge achievement. Maybe it’s the sense of purpose you’ll miss, but you could still do something purposeful without having to do it every day 🙂

    • Kathy says:

      Almost there, Andrea. Three more days/blog posts!! Yes, about missing the sense of purpose. It has felt so much like contributing to something larger than myself. Giving back to Spirit. I am still thinking that blogging is going to happen, albeit in a quieter and less frequent way. Thanks for your perspective and your faithful presence!

  9. Stacy says:

    This is precisely why life itself is a paradox. XOXO

  10. Barb says:

    I really do believe that every ending is a new beginning. Who will I drink my tea with after you reach 75? I’m sure I’ll think of you and wonder what you’re doing in your house in the woods. I hear so many people say they’re glad to bid goodbye to 2020, but I don’t feel any special angst toward the passing year. It provided lessons and challenges and adventures and insights. Perhaps only hindsight will allow us to really take stock of 2020. Gloomy with sleet here – a day to read by the fire.

    • Kathy says:

      Awww man, Barb, I have enjoyed knowing that you drink your tea here. That you’re reading and present and deeply listening. I am still enamored of that term “deep listening”. So glad that you don’t feel much angst about 2020. It did provide so much. I am going to look back at it with so much paradox! Wondering how much snow you have out there. We got about 4-5 inches the last couple of days. Not sure how much total on the ground so far, though. I could walk around yesterday without snowshoes. Might not be that way much longer.

      • Barb says:

        We’ve had about a foot in the past 4 days, but our snowpack is below normal. We really haven’t had any huge dumps which is what the forests and the mountains really need. We begin to worry about our reservoirs and summer drought if we don’t get big storms to provide moisture. Also, avalanche danger in the back country is very high – there have been several deaths in the past month. I keep warning Ben (17) because he does like to ski backcountry.

        • Kathy says:

          Thank you for the update. I will try to share this with my skiing brother because he’s been talking of going somewhere skiing. But so far can’t find a place that has enough snow for his taste. I think it must be scary to live in a place with avalanches. Hope Ben stays safe!

  11. Amanda-Lyn says:

    My life is filled with opposites…I love my boys dearly and would die for them but when you’ve been with them for at least 5 days…for 9 months straight…you go a little bonkers! I am looking forward to my very first full day of work and yet dreading it because no more lazing around in the mornings. I love my husband very much but he drives me crazy when he doesn’t help with the housework ((and that’s due to my own “no not like that, here let me” mentality I have where I just shoo him off ((then get annoyed because he is not helping LOL)). That’s probably the biggest opposite ((and running joke)).

    • Kathy says:

      Yep, your examples sound very normal to me. I remember feeling similarly when the kids were younger. And five days for nine months straight–some of you pandemic stay-at-home parents deserve a medal! I am imagining putting one around your neck right now, Amanda-Lyn. I hope you can see it. *smile*

  12. Joanne says:

    I just knew you would be looking forward to ending your challenge, Kathy. You are such a free spirit in many ways, I think, and you don’t enjoy the confines of having to do something every-single-day. But please, DO keep blogging (you said you will 😉 ) as I would miss your blog posts terribly if they never happened. Your words inspire me to ‘think’.
    My daughter is suffering – yes, suffering, through a paradox just now. Her baby boy is four-months old, and he can now sit up unaided. She’s so proud of him! Excited Mama! Then in the next breath, she’s wailing ‘my baby isn’t a baby any more – he’s growing up too fast!’ In another paradox, we all love Emma, but her indecision is driving us crazy!

    • Kathy says:

      Yes, I do have that huge free spirit part that is so ready for this to be done. And a huge committed part that has absolutely loved it. I knew the free spirit part might be stifled, but oh well, she always gets her day. Not feeling any need to isolate or quit blogging now, as in the past, when there’s been deep personal spiritual dives. So glad to hear these posts inspire you to think. Thank you! Smiling at your Emma paradox. So sweet, so crazy. Hard to live with at times…but such an integral part of life, this paradox.

  13. Val says:

    I’ve lived on a metaphorical see-saw all my life, so I’m no stranger to opposites. I’m living with one daily at the moment: the need to stop blogging and the knowledge that I’ll miss it. That’s one I think you understand, too, Kathy… the blogging see-saw. x

    • Kathy says:

      I do so understand, Val. The blogging see-saw–that’s a good way to put it. It’s a strange situation to be in when a part of us wants something and another part wants its opposite. Sometimes I envy people who don’t seem to live in this paradoxical conundrum.

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