Yesterday was such an active day filled with blogging, dyad, work, grocery shopping in the “big” town 45 miles north, phone calls with family, stoking fires, making dinner, responding to blog comments, oh, and a dozen other already forgotten undertakings.
A challenging moment popped up mid-afternoon and I paused to gaze out the window. Movement on the ridge on the other side of the ravine caught my eye. The leaves are down from the skeleton trees, so you can glimpse woods animals more often. Almost always it’s a deer or six ambling by. But yesterday I noticed short legs. It was a coyote or wolf. It moved swiftly between the trees, so quickly that absolute identification proved impossible.
Native Americans call coyote a trickster. It can be an unfortunate omen. He’s also a creator, teacher and keeper of magic. (Talk about paradox, right?) The wolf shines as a teacher as well, but also portends strength and loyalty. When you’re having trouble with trusting others, call wolf in–one source suggests.
I don’t always pay 100% attention to what others say about animal totems and signs. Sometimes it feels spot on. Sometimes it’s a maybe. Other times it’s a definitive no. What feels more compelling is to turn inside and ask Spirit what the coyote/wolf signifies in this new moment.
“Just trust,” an inner voice advised. “The teacher is here.”
I sank into trust all around the challenging moment. Let go of all worry. It would be OK. Just release into the Holy’s design.
Within an hour the entire situation had resolved itself. For now anyway. I thank coyote/wolf for the reassurance and teaching message.
Spirit also tapped my shoulder this morning and whispered about trust again. Write about trust, the Universe seemed to say.
It seems so often that the spiritual teacher comes again and again to share this basic reminder: Trust. Trust in divine timing. Trust in yourself. Trust in love. Just trust, can’t you humans?
There are so many ways I haven’t trusted myself or others or the world over the years. A good way to sum up the essence of this seventy five spiritual exploration is this: Just trust. Trust in what’s happening. Explore deeper than the surface appearance. Be so very gentle and compassionate to whatever is arising.
Trust in the Holy, God, Spirit, Higher Self, awareness, Allah, Great Spirit, Jehovah, Jesus, the Universe, whatever name you use to signify the wholeness beyond the rational mind, the sometimes tumultuous feelings, the ever-changing uncontrollable world.
It’s a sinking into this trust. But, paradoxically, it’s not turning away from decisions, intentions, boundaries, actions. It’s a melting pot where we both trust and intend. Where we surrender and embrace our sovereign individuality. We both relax into the Holy and make logical decisions, to the best of our ability. (And sometimes we don’t have that ability at our fingertips, darn it.)
Mind sometimes says it can’t be both ways, but I suspect it is. The divine paradox of learning to live more steadfastly with the Holy’s eyes.
Coyote pauses and looks back at us. Wolf howls at the full moon. May we fully learn to trust you, O Holy. Thanks for coming to visit us in your Oneness with your many faces.
Day 74 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.