December has worn her drab gray dress every day. OK, maybe she jazzed up with some weak yellow sunshine occasionally when she felt festive. But mostly she’s just dulled us with mono color.
This is nothing new here in the Upper Peninsula. She’s a winter princess, our December, and she likes to blend into the woods suggesting again and again that it’s we humans who must open our eyes and find the color of what’s true.
You can stare out the window and think drab, drab, drab. Nothing to see out there. Yawn. So lackluster.
But sometimes we’re urged outside to play hide and seek. To see if it’s possible to find spirit peeking and poking out of muted backgrounds. To find what’s hidden in plain sight.
Everyone who consciously decides to play this game does it in different ways. Perhaps we want to document stories. Or what’s-happening-now. Or nature’s revelations. Or to illustrate a blog. To send photos to friends and family. To express art. Or beauty. The pull toward seeking can nudge us out of routines, schedules, habits.
Come, come, Spirit calls.
When I consciously play hide and seek, I am looking for something. It’s always there; now where is it?
What is spirit to me? you ask. What the heck you talkin’ about this spirit?
Spirit is suchness.
Spirit is beingness.
Spirit is aliveness.
Spirit is Presence.
Sometimes it’s energy.
Mostly it’s a felt-sense in my body that says: I AM.
The texture of bark–felt inside like–oh, gosh, words are deserting me. It’s life presenting itself as holy. It’s life saying–this is who I AM.
I AM bark.
I AM chickadee silhouetted perfectly in snow. Single red oak leaf dusted by snow crystals. A log being itself, perfectly round, centered hole. Bark–the feel of tree skin. A single deer hoof. Patterned snow atop spruce.
Listening deeply to what FEELS holy in the body. How Spirit is talking through its creations.
Sometimes wordlessly sensing the unity. That we are all the I AM. We are all uniquely SUCH.
THIS is what I AM.
Seeking what’s alive, what’s now, what’s reaching out in feeling–and finding it.
Because it’s always here. Always around. Always shining its spirit light through life. It says: I am here even in grayness. Even in darkness. Even in hopelessness.
Come play hide and seek with me, says Spirit. Seek and ye shall find.
Day 73 of a seventy-five day journey to connect more deeply with God, Spirit, Holy, Love…to explore “What the Heart Knows” during the waning days of 2020.