Dear Reader,
I have nothing to say. (You’ve heard this before, haven’t you?)
But really really really want to write this morning, to share, to sprout words like daffodils, to hatch sentences like baby robins, all squawking and chirping and nestled beneath Mama’s orange paragraph breast.
(Oh my goodness–how’s that for a metaphor from the sleep-deprived brain-fuddled depths? Should I return to bed instead of create? No, no. Let’s see what other metaphors or similes might arise with the morning sun.)
Good morning, World!
Couldn’t. Sleep. Last. Night.
Around 2:30 a.m. finally returned to soft flannel sheets for the third time and released into dreamless exhaustion. I can remember pouring a bowl of cereal with plump blueberries around midnight. Even briefly turned on the computer and paused by the hearth of this blog to check what wuz happening. Something one shouldn’t do when attempting to sleep. Far too interesting.
I am a little nervous about trying to entertain the 110 new subscribers who arrived on the blog’s doorstep since the Freshly Press incident last week. (Was it only last week? Feels like a dozen years ago.)
What are they expecting? Wit every day? Hugely entertaining posts about blogging conduit? We know they’re not anticipating exquisite photography, because they signed on with minimalist sweet chickadee in snow photos. So we’re safe. We can post whatever pictures arise, and they might even enjoy.
Baby evergreens. A little snow.
Will they stick around if it’s boring?
Will they stick around when nothing’s happening?
(Answer: Kathy, you schtick! You silly, silly girl. You’re caring what others think again. You just write. You just follow your heart up the snowy road and down the snowy road. One foot in front of the other. How many times do we have to tell you this?)
Visited my 90-year old friend, Anita, on Tuesday afternoon. She’s the one that tells jokes. She told me four jokes this time, all about ministers. Let’s see if I can remember one.
A minister was walking through town. He came upon a boy standing near the four corners. “Can you tell me how to get to the post office?” he asked the boy. The boy nodded, and pointed down the street to the post office. The minister thanked him profusely. Then, because he was a minister, he knelt down and asked the child if he knew about Jesus. Did he know about Heaven? The minister asked, “Do you want to know how to get to Heaven?” The boy paused for several minutes, finally shaking his head no. “Why don’t you want to know?” the minister asked. “Mister, you don’t even know how to get to the post office! I don’t think you’re going to know how to get to Heaven.”
Heaven on earth?
OK, then. All I can tell you is that when Anita told the joke we both laughed uproariously for ten seconds.
It would be interesting to see what kind of blog Anita might write. She taught high school English for many years. She would write grammatically correct sentences that would not end in prepositions. At post-ninety, she probably doesn’t care what others think any more.
I want to be like her when I grow up.
Sometimes I don’t care what others think at all. Like this morning. Writing this blog that just ambles around the block and back. Just letting the sentences sprout like mushrooms. Not worrying what John, Patty or Harry think.
Writing because it feeds the soul! Writing because we can. Writing just Because.
You know what feels good?
Did you know that icicles sometimes look like drills?
Letting yourself feel some minor insecurity, smiling softly that it still arises, and then allowing yourself to be the fullest person you can be.
Not believing your insecurity.
Not letting it diminish the quality of your wild & precious life.
Well, I could write another half hour without stopping but must do non-computer chores:
1) Stoke wood stove.
2) Do yoga. At least sunrise salutations.
3) Meditate. Or at least sit on the couch and not think. Or watch the thoughts think and not believe them.
4) Eat breakfast. Do you think I should eat another bowl of cereal with blueberries or wait until lunch? Silly question. Second bowl of Kashi cereal with blueberries coming up.
5) Prepare to file 2011 personal records and file income taxes. Are you getting a refund? I am 85.2% sure that we will.
6) Spend some time outdoors in the 36 degree warmth. (2 degrees Celsius.) Balmy weather for this time of year!
OK, dear reader. I truly had nothing to say. Remember, you writers, do NOT believe your mind when it wimps that there is nothing to say. Just sit down and start writing. Write your joys, your insecurities, jokes from your 90-year old friend, and your to-do list.
What a fabulous way to start the day!
Love, Kathy
P.S. Do you think it’s OK to abandon my to-do list and just return to bed for a wee nap? Never mind what you think, John, Patty and Harry. See you after a few more snoozes…
Swing free, my friend! Enjoy your day!
Lake Superior Spirit 
Kathy – I’m glad you shared Anita’s joke, it made me laugh — a good way to launch a day of writing. Whoohoo!
Glad that Anita’s joke inspired your writing! She loves to tell a joke. With not too much indelicate humor. Church jokes are her favorite.
don’t ever change …
… ‘night …
Awww, sweetie, that is so nice. Don’t ever change. You, either. (But, hey! Wait! Isn’t change the ONLY constant in the Universe? Sigh…)
I haven’t even had my coffee, and this is the third article/post I’ve read telling me to give my gifts without worrying about others. Hmmm. Thank you as always, dear Kathy!
Dear Celeste, the Universe is knocking on your doorway saying, “Share your gifts, Celeste! Share your gifts! Celeste! Did you hear? Share your gifts! Celeste?” Sometimes when I share my gifts I still get nervous wondering what people are going to say. No matter. No lil bitty scaredy-cat is gonna stop this gift-giver! (Hope your mom is doing OK.)
I loved the minister joke too. More, please!
OK, Ms. Eagle-Eyed Editor. Here is another one Anita shared: https://upwoods.wordpress.com/2011/10/04/the-joke-my-90-year-old-friend-shared/
(Sorry, can’t remember the three others she told Tuesday. Need to take notes.)
“I am a little nervous about trying to entertain the 110 new subscribers who arrived on the blog’s doorstep since the Freshly Press incident last week. (Was it only last week? Feels like a dozen years ago.)”
I know how that feels. I actually started blogging as part of a writing challenge to myself. But I catch myself wondering what would those following like to read or would they desert me for another newbie on the blog? 🙂 Gone are the days of carefree writing. I think I should stop visiting my Stats page. Happy napping! Cheers!
Oh good, I am very glad you know JUST what I’m talking about, Irene. The pressure to perform! It can slew carefree writing, if we let it. Thank goodness, I took the pressure can and shook it this morning. Words came flying out everywhere. I think we’re safe. We can share Anything now.
I love this post. Even with “nothing to say”, you said enough to keep this reader interested. Seems like when we stop caring what John, Patty, and Harry think, we allow ourselves to be ourselves, thus freeing the mind to share so much more. Have a great morning. (Think I’m going back to bed)
Dear Whatevertheyaint, thank you! I love it that you understand. (Even about going back to bed. Which I did. Although never really slept soundly.) Let’s keep freeing our minds to share more. And I hope YOU have a great afternoon! Thank you.
So, what do I do when I have a lot to say/write, but worry about not sounding politically correct? Oh yea, I forgot already … don’t worry what John, Patty or Harry think. Thanks for reminding me. 🙂
Must we sound politically correct? Oh, must we? Sigh. I think, Lori, the thing we MUST do is express ourselves and then not get nervous & crazy & nail-biting thinking we’ve somehow exposed a raw nerve of ourselves. We must write…and then we must be our own best friend, supporting ourselves, no mater what John, Patty or Harry says. You are so welcome.
All those metaphors have ME thinking that YOU’RE thinking about Spring. And I always think a nap is in order. I have the luxury of working from home, so when I get brain-slow doing my job, I take a catnap, and I promise that I am much more productive after.
Now that I know about writing even if you have nothing to say, what do you do when you have something to say but just can’t seem to get around to it?
Oh Spring, wherefore art thou, Spring? Wait a sec, it’s way too early to think about Spring in the U.P. That doesn’t usually come until May. I took a wee nap this morning, but it only temporarily disturbed the brain-fuzzy syndrome. Usually a catnap works wonders! I think I am having an inordinately sleepy day.
As to not getting around to saying what you don’t know how to say—err, talk about grammar!–I think the only option is to sign a blogging contract with yourself. Blog Or Else you can’t go Skiing. It will work, in your case.
Not that you care what I think, but I think you are amazing. I love this, because it reminds me of my morning rambles on the page which I don’t always have the courage to share. But, at the same time, you use metaphors and jokes with skill. Bravo!
I care what you think. I think I care what you think. I like how you think, anyway. I care but I don’t want to get attached. I care, but don’t want to need praise. (Need to sleep again.) I actually didn’t have 100% courage to share my little insecurity this morning, but decided to plunge in anyway. I find that blogging takes courage. In the last four years, cultivating courage has been the biggest gift. Note to self: write blog about courage some day. Or you can if you want to!
I think your photos are great even the chikadee ones.
Kerry, OK, I like how you think, too. I loved the little chickadees, too! Sweet little birdies… Thank you, Kerry.
Thanks for reminding me why I like blogging. “Writing just because.”
Just because! The best reason to write! I’ll bet Claude the mouse taught you that. 🙂
His name was Claude, right?
I came across this article today, and thought it might make you feel more “normal” about waking in the middle of the night:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783
Thank you, Heather. I wish I wasn’t so tired today. I can’t even do half of what I wanted to do. Can’t even sleep when lying down to nap. But truly resonate with much of what this article says. thank you.
I like it when I come across something that just makes so much sense! But then I worry that I’ve simply found something that happens to reinforce my perhaps biased, and possibly misinformed misconceptions. Ah, to be human! I did get a successful catnap, and that’s why I’m really thinking of *actually* writing that blog. At 11:30pm. 😉
Kathy, I always start to smile when you begin with saying you have nothing to say. And then settle in, never quite knowing what to expect but knowing that whatever is coming is going to be a delight. And that my day is going to be a few degrees brighter because of it 🙂
Hoping you might have had that well deserved nap…..
Dearest Colleen, I know you like when the blogs start that way. Are you getting bored a bit when I say that? Yet there never, ever, feels like there is ANYTHING to say. Truly. How can “nothing to say” translate to delight? As for the well-deserved nap, please read my last response. A challenging day.
Love your style, love your blog, loved the joke — my Mom is 93 and I’m going to have to remember to tell her that one! I also adore your “insecurities about writing,” as I think that has to be the “tie that binds” the majority of writers! Your pictures are wonderful, too, but not wonderful enough to make me give up my nest in Florida 😉 Please do take a nap. Naps are great and you deserve one! Candice
Oh, do tell her! Let us know if she laughed. I hesitated to share my insecurities–yet again–but if we don’t share our insecurities as writers, aren’t we only showing half the picture? I am glad you liked the photos. I’ve put Florida photos on this blog, too, Candice. My folks live in Fort Myers Beach during the winter and it’s a thrill to visit them.
Sorry Kathy but who are John, Patty and Harry? (Sorry if that’s a very silly question…). :P. Lovely post, thank you! 😀
Not a silly question at all! Have you heard of the saying “Tom, Dick and Harry” when you’re referring to multiple unspecified people? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom,_Dick_and_Harry)
Well, I was thinking Tom, Dick and Harry sounded too masculine so I substituted John, Patty and Harry.
You know, whoever we think those Other People might be. 🙂
Oh, it all makes sense now, thanks :P. The joke was great, by the way!
**smiling with you**
I was just about to chide “Kathy, Kathy, Kathy – we write to fulfill ourselves, remember? We don’t care what others think, although it’s always nice to feel we might bring some joy to some” when I realized that as I sat typing with nothing to say on my blog this morning, I wondered, casually of course, how bored those who follow me might be with that post. So I dare not chide, but I dare say that you made me chuckle as often you do. So write away, something to say or not!
Yes, yes, yes! Gosh you do give a great Impersonation of one side of ourselves! Glad you feel the same way. We can’t chide ourselves when we repeatedly say such things because people are chuckling everywhere. OK, at least two people are chuckling somewhere. (P.S. I am sure I will visit this theme Again. I’m trying to convince myself and all of us everywhere who might disagree.)
Hope you went back to bed and napped for a bit. You always make me smile!
Marcie, have I told thee recently that I adore thee? And always, your photos. Of course, I adore thee more than thine photos. You are the tree. They are the fruit.
I can relate to the pressure of entertaining your subscribers, and that’s without a significant influx of new readers, too. I think the key is honesty– here, you were honest about your insecurities and crafted a lovely blossom of a post in spite of them! The posts I write for myself are the ones I’m often most concerned about but end up resonating with more people anyway. The ones I write with other people’s perceptions in mind are the ones that fall flat on their faces and die a quiet, lonely death. 🙂
I hope you were finally able to catch up on some sleep.
Dana, Dana, Dana! Why do we feel pressure to entertain our subscribers? Shouldn’t they be happy with crumbs of–almost–indifference? Don’t people fall in love with other people who almost don’t care? Yes, honesty. I try to be honest, to bring things down to the rocky & tumultuous heart, which is not predictable. I was actually 6.3% scared this morning when writing this. Afraid to be too vulnerable. Afraid someone would go for the jugular like a vampire and tear out the frightened heart which beats in the middle of some revelations. OK, it hasn’t happened. Maybe that’s because I would be too tired to respond properly. Has your cough gone away yet?
LOL! Love the joke.
I’ve found that to be true about writing. Just start. The words will come. 🙂
Since your an almost-daily blogger (make that a DAILY blogger) I know you know what I mean. (Glad you liked Anita’s joke. She’s hysterical. She laughs so hard when she tells her jokes that I laugh harder because she’s so amused.)
The blank blog page can be intimidating sometimes … however, as you found out, you just have to start and it works out just fine.
I laughed at the joke ..
Interesting angle on your icicle shot (I did one for the wordpress photo challenge this week) … and I think your tree does look like heaven on earth.
That disturbing blank page, Bearyweather. Thank goodness we know how to court it.
I was so interested in the icicles at that angle. Didn’t they look like drills? And that tree…be still my heart. One of the reasons we live in the North Country, eh?
What are your new subscribers expecting? What they saw when they first found your blog: you. Just as you are. 🙂
Hugs, and I love your photos and this post!
Aren’t you so right, Val? What was that insecure voice thinking, anyway? Why do we listen to insecure voices? I haven’t figured it out. Hugs back, and thank you for pausing here and liking it.
That was simply lovely, Kathy, just like having a telephone conversation with you (except I must have laryngitis as I didn’t reply vocally. Lol) But did you hear me laugh at Anita’s joke? I did. It was more of a short laugh followed by a long smile, thinking about 90 year old Anita, who still wants to tell jokes! I’m with you, I want to be the same kind of person Anita is when I grow up. 🙂
I heard you laugh all the way from Australia. I said to Barry, “Did you hear that? Joanne’s laughing!” He said, “Your mother is laughing?” I said, “No, Joanne is laughing in Australia.” He said, “Is your mother in Australia?” OK, sorry, I was just trying to make up a joke. Trying to be a little like Anita…except hers are funny! Thank you.
Kathy, I love how your blog posts just seemed to flow almost like a silent melody (if that makes any sense).
Your friend’s joke was very entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
Have a wonderful weekend, Kathy.
Thank you, Marianne. I appreciate what you have shared about that flowing from a silent melody. It makes me feel good (so much for John, Patty and Harry…) Perhaps it is your sensitivity that allows you to glimpse that we are all really singing that silent melody… I hope your weekend is good, as well. Wishing we could sip tea together this morning and sing our songs.
Thank you Kathy for this food for thought today. It is my belief that writing should come from truth…whether that is exciting or mundane. Truth…honesty and simplicity. Your writing is wonderful and as far as my way of thinking, perfect..perfectly YOU (not that it matters what I think) You could ramble on and on about nothing in particular and I would hang on every word. 🙂 You inspire me and encourage me and allow me to hang onto my dream and for that I am grateful. Your words, your thoughts, your pictures all tell a story…your story and I find it to be totally interesting…always. If it pleases you…if it fulfills your needs then that is all that matters. It truly does not matter what we think…we’re just along for the ride 🙂 (although…in all honesty I think it would affect me if I was a writer…reading what other people think…hmmm…maybe I better practice what I preach!)
Write on Kathy! I love every bit and as long as you follow YOUR heart then all is write (grin…right) with the world! ♥
First, I just read your comment, Brenda and then I thought, “What DID I write about on this day?” You see, I forget so easily what happened three or six days ago. I thought, “Did someone here care about what others think?” and then I thought, “Oh, ha ha, it was ME!” I like it that I both care and don’t care what others think. That we all have both these sides to ourselves, if we look closely enough. If you put yourself out there as a writer–which you could, I can tell by your comments–you might be surprised to discover that part of you that cares. Of course we don’t have to give that feeling center stage. But we can let it come out and express itself creatively, don’t you think? That way we’re not squashing our feelings under our bed with the dust monsters.
Dust monsters??! Where?! Certainly not under MY bed! lol
Thank you for the encouragement Kathy….I’ve been told all throughout my life that I “should” get into writing…never felt brave enough. Or competent enough. (Maybe what others think plays a bigger factor in my thinking than I realized)